You know when you are now “old”? The first time you call the cops on your neighbor for making too much noise. In all fairness, they were having a party at 4am complete with stomping and chanting and what sounded like someone jumping on a bed for 20 minutes.
Still, I miss the days when I was the one up at 4am making all the freakin noise (which would be a few weeks before).
Are you sure there was only one person jumping on the bed?
Old but still retaining your childlike innocence…
Gosh, I’ve been old for a lot longer than I thought! Back when Mr. Legend and I were first married, the guy in the apartment next door used to beat his girlfriend (wife?), so I’ve been calling the cops on the neighbors since I was just 20 years old.
Of course, we’re in a house now, and we like the noisy, partying neighbor far too much to call the cops. You’d think he’d invite us to the party every now and then, wouldn’t you?
If you’re a guy, you know you’re old when you are at the checkout lanes and instead of choosing the lane of the prettiest cashier you go to the fastest one.
>instead of choosing the lane of the prettiest cashier you go to the fastest one
Yeah, I can still remember that. Vaguely.
When you get really old, as in dirty old man old, you revert to favoring the line with the prettiest YOUNG cashier.
Only because time doesn’t matter anymore.
When you’re really old, all the cashiers are young.
Guess I’ve always been old…turn your damned music down and get offa my lawn!
I remember the day I turned old. My husband, daughter and I were watching the fireworks at the local carnival. Next to us were 2 teenagers – first they were sitting on a blanket, then they were wrestling (if you know what I mean, and I think you do…) *under * it. I would’ve hosed them down, if I had a hose. Instead I used the scaryscary MOM-VOICE and told them to knock it off and not to behave that way in public. What made me feel *really * old, though, was the fact that they apologized and listened to me.
Ah heck you’re not old, not if you waited until 4 in the morning. When you call them before midnight, that’s middle-age. When you don’t call the cops because you can’t hear anything anyway, that’s old!
Heh.
I’ve been “old” for about four or five years, really, ever since I started working jobs for which I had to wake up early in the morning.
I used to have neighbors who lived in an apartment building behind mine (we shared a small parking lot); the apartment building and my house were two or three car-lengths apart. They would have large parties late at night that would always spill out into the lot. I would suffer through on a Friday or Saturday night, but it would happen on weeknights as well. Noise would start at 1AM; people talking/laughing/shouting from basically directly under my window.
I called the cops a few times; only when it was constant noise that was going on for a good ten or fifteen minutes. Of course most of the time, if/when the cops finally showed up, the noise had died down.
Boy did I feel like a crumudgeon!
Oh, and I meant to say, I’m 26 now. So, at the time, I was probably the exact same age as the folks at the party.
When you begin stories with the phrase, “When I was your age” then you are old.
I’ve been “old” for a long time.
– All of the new music just sounds like* noise* to me.
– All of the fashions look stupid.
– I have never heard of that clelebrity everyone’s talking about.
– I bitch about how lazy/stupid/rude this generation is in comparison to my own.
– I compare ailments/treatments/doctors with coworkers.
– I can’t find anything or remember appointments.
And I’m only 29 years old!
Get off my lawn.
When cute chicks (by which I mean 40 year old attractive women) start holding the door open for you, then you are old.
Tris
My wife and I must have contracted The Old several years back then. We had one neighbour who, one night suddenly started playing his music loud. I don’t mean “party over here” loud. I mean Spinal Tap loud. I can’t even imagine how the resident and whomever he had with him could stand it because just standing outside his door was like crawling inside a giant Peavy that was currently being used by Joe Satriani. Banging on his door accomplished precisely nothing, so I called security. Security came up and started banging. When banging did nothing he started wailing on that door and shouting at the guy inside. It literally took him five minutes to even attract the guy’s attention. The music turned down and the guy answered his door. I couldn’t hear the conversation (I was listening through my own door, cracked open a bit) but the guy insisted he wasn’t making much noise but eventually, after much arguing, agreed to keep it down.
The guard walked back to the elevator and pressed the button.
The music almost immediately resumed at the same volume. The dumbass hadn’t even waited for the guard to leave! The entire scene is repeated almost exactly once again. Fortunately that ended better and the guy didn’t turn his music back up. The guy must have been totally baked or something.
Given that I like a style of music that is officially called “Noise” i don’t have to much of a problem with that. And the current mussic sounds less like noise and more like crap. But that doesn’t make me feel old, I thought most of the popular music of my youth was also crap.
And the fashoins do look stupid. Saw one kid tricked out in absolute circ 1977 punk wear…with bell bottoms. Way not to get it.
And celebrtiy are not woth talking about.
The rest `I agree with
Spinal Tap? Joe Satriani? Now, Joe Satriani I think is that guy from America’s Top Model, right, but is Spinal Tap some new band with a MySpace page or something?
Of course, having my birthday and a scheduled recruiting trip back to my old college campus all within a week or so doesn’t help matters.