My girlfriend wants to meet a mutual friend whom she wanted to sleep with before falling for me.


I have been with my girlfriend for 4 months and have known her for 1 year soon. We started talking together a lot last year, 2 months after I talked with her for the first time. But 1 month prior for me starting to talk a lot with her, she talked a lot with a mutual friend we have I have known him for 1 year and 6 month, she for 1 year soon.

When talking with our mutual friend they both used cams and showed their naked bodies, they also talked slightly dirty and generally just flirted a lot. This stopped when I stared talking a lot with her for some reason although they still wanted to sleep with each other and flirted occasionally.

Neither I not her have ever met our mutual friend. After we fell in love she told me that she don’t want to sleep with him anymore but she still consider them friends and now it turns out he is coming to stay with some of his friends not far from us and she wants to meet him.

Also before she fell in love with me she planned to visit him with me and tell me it wouldn’t work out between us as I was in love with her and then sleep with out mutual friend.

Also on a side note my girlfriend have not been lucky with her past relationships so she have had some “mental” walls with made her able to not mix feelings and physically intimacy which is why she have had a friend with benefit for the last 3 years but broke of all contact from him after we came together. That also means she have never really been in love with anyone besides me, she only “liked” her ex’s and was more interested in a one night stand with our mutual friend.

Am I just being silly for not liking it and being uncomfortable with it?

I don’t think I would get too attached to this girl. From the sound of it, she sounds confused. I’m not sure she knows what she wants.

You can tell her how you feel, then she can decide if she wants to still meet up with him. Then you can decide if you want a GF that would do this to you.

I don’t think your feelings are unreasonable. But at the same time, your relationship is young. So don’t expect too much out of this.

I find your last paragraph troubling. We’ve all had our problems in life. This doesn’t give anyone free license to treat their SO like shit. So please don’t go making excuses for this girl.,

Hey Shakes,

Thank you for replying to my thread.

I might add that she have no intention of meeting him without me. We are also currently talking about it but i think it is a good idea to have other perspectives from an objective view.

When you say i shouldn’t expect too much as our relationship is young what exactly do you mean?

Also it wasn’t my intention to make it sound like an excuse for her. I just think it might be a possible reason for some of the things she think or does.

Oh sorry, if she’s suggesting you two meet him together, then I retract everything I just said.

You two meeting him together sounds completely fine to me. It’s OK for you to feel a little insecure. Anybody would. Just don’t let those negative feelings rule you.


Oh, come on - I’m not the only one thinking it!

Thx a lot. It helped me a lot hearing.

I am sorry, but i believe you are the only thinking that, sir.

She sounds like a real catch.

Im not sure i follow you, are you being sarcastic or do you actually mean it? I personally think she is.

If she’s suggesting you go visit as a couple, I can’t see the problem with it. Like Shakes, it’s natural to be insecure or a bit jealous of past love interests, just don’t be a dick about it. I’ve been a dick to male friends of female love interests, and it was really stupid of me to be that way.

It’s only natural for you not to like it, but that’s what comes out of the back or your brain. Try these facts on in the front:

  1. She loves you in the present, she jerked off with him in the past. There’s no real need to feel competitive here, and you’ll only be an asshole acting on it.

  2. If I read your OP right, she never met him for sex IRL, just for cybersex. 99 times out of 100, when these people finally get together, and there’s not too much background noise, you can actually hear their skin crawl. (and luckily for you this is even more true for women) All you can to is to queer this deal by making it “forbidden fruit.”

3: Basically 1 again: you and her have “chemistry:” not just as a figure of speech: you’ve looked at and smelled and tasted each other, and fell in love. You’ll eventually have your first big fight and sour that initial love buzz, but if the fight is over something petty and avoidable, the relationship won’t survive it because it’s not only a violation of the first-flush lovey-doveyness, but of also of rational, reasonable love.

My Wife is Facebook friends with several of my exes. More than I am.

Of course, none of us look or act as we did thirty-some-odd years ago, and she is not concerned about any contact.

Sounds like they’re trying on the “let’s still be just friends” hat. I’ve seen this work out well, I’ve seen it work out to middling decent and cordial results, and I’ve seen it flame out spectacularly. How it all shakes out is only partially up to you – partially up to her, and partially up to him – so there’s only so much control you can exert ove the situation. So, as stated up thread: don’t be a dick about it.

Thank you for all the honest replies. I appreciate it a lot.

That -ed at the end of “wanted” totally changes what I thought this thread was going to be about.

If I was in her position and still wanted to meet my web wank buddy I think I would just meet them privately for lunch at a restaurant and not make a huge production out it. Also why would the visiting wank buddy want to be met with the tag team of you and her as a couple? It sounds extremely awkward. If I was the wank buddy I’d pass.

Most women with a new serious BF would let the whole wank buddy thing pass and focus on their current relationship regardless of whether or not he’s in town. But no… she’s gotta see him and wants to drag you along.

Not to be critical but it sounds like your GF has somewhat poor interpersonal and social judgment skills. This is something most people would let alone if they were in a new serious relationship. That she is making this overture should be a cue to you not to overinvest emotionally in this relationship at this stage.

In fairness to her, she might need them there together to make an accurate comparison in the event she needs that data for future decisions. It’s not like she’s married to the OP, all is fair game.

I was also thinking threesome

Me three.

My first thought too.

This. It’s hinky. It’s…just…I mean…well, no. I would not do it. If my GF of 4 months brought this to me, I would say goodbye. Do pass GO, do not collect $200.

But then, I am older and wiser than I used to be.