He was 90. After he fell down his stairs, I knew things were not going well. His health had been declining for awhile now but I had no idea it was going to be this fast. I hadn’t been up there since February of last year to see him and grandma (they live in Manitowoc, WI). I was planning to go up there the week of our birthday in August. We shared the same day, the 18th. He would have been 91, me 31.
He was the type of person who took pride in being self-sufficient and not wanting to be a burden on anyone – grandma too. And I think when he was placed in a rehab/care center, all of that was taken away from him. He was depressed and didn’t eat much and just wanted to sleep.
Thank God that my aunt was already there to help out. Now, she’ll do more than she probably thought with grandma. Speaking of, I think she’s going downhill too. Normally, she’s immaculate. All the clothes and dishes done but not now.
Anyway, I hope you don’t take your family for granted. If you have problems with a family member that have been going on for years, settle them now. You don’t have forever to say the things you may not have a chance to.
I also express my condolences.
I am sure you shared a certain bond given sharing a birthday 6 decades apart.
Be sure to keep in touch withh grandma, and that you and family assure her that she has plenty of reason keep going. She is not alone.
My condolences to you and your family; you and your grandpa must have shared a really special bond, especially with having the same birthday 60 years apart. Here’s hoping things get better for you and your family soon!
My condolences as well. I still remember not being able to afford to go see my grandmother when she turned 90; I still hadn’t been able to make it back to England when she died at age 94. Please remember the love you had and your bond.
My sympathies twit. I am almost exactly 50 years younger than my grandma, and she is in a home now, since January 2. I can’t stand the thought of losing her, and to hear that someone else has had such a sorrow pains me. I will pray for you and you family, and for your grandma, who is going to need all the support she can get.
So sorry to hear about your Grandfather. My Grandfather died when he was 90 too and I was out of town when it happened. Now my Grandmother is alone and has been for 10 years or so and I try to spend as much time as I can with her.
Very tentative plans are for us to leave Friday morning, Dunno when we’ll return. Unfortunately, because of Jazzfest, flights are wayyy too expensive. $700??? Anyway, tomorrow should bring clearer plans. Thank you all for your concern.
I’m so sorry, twit. Losing someone you love so much is the single most devastating thing we ever have to go through. And losing a much loved parent or grandparent sort of makes you feel like the ground beneath your feet is more like quicksand.
My thoughts and prayers are with you as you deal with your grief. And I am sending some to your grandma, too…she must be so very lonely. I am so glad your aunt is going to be close enough to help her feel loved and cared for.
I am very sorry for your loss. I lost my paternal grandfather when I was 8, and my maternal grandfather when I was 18. Both my SO and I have lost our fathers, so our children have no grandfathers. It is something I think they will miss, and that is very sad to me.
Back to you, you can get discounts on plane tickets when traveling for funerals and such. They call it “grief fares”, I believe. We found out about it when my dad died unexpectedly and my sister was in California. She was trying to get home as fast as possible and didn’t have much money(being in college and all), and when the lady on the phone realized she was crying, she asked why and told my sister about the discount fare.
It is worth a try. I hope you and your family can spend some time with your grandmother and just be with each other at this trying time.
{{{twit }}}
Melissa
-Mtgman’s wife
(Sorry for the ramble, death has always affected me very strongly.)
Melissa, I just called American Airlines and found that they do indeed have a breavement fare going up to Milwaukee via Chicago. Sounds weird but $362 is way better than $700! As for my brother, dad and stepmom, they were able to get even better rates with Fed Ex since my brother works for them.
Thanks again for everyone’s help. Now I have to try and get in touch with dad.
I got that $362 rate from American Airlines. Note: if you find yourself in my situation, call AA first!
I leave early Friday morning and come back on Tuesday. Looks like it’ll be chilly, well, chilly compared to what it is here in New Orleans now (in the 80s). Rain and in the '40s. Guess I’ll have to wear my Green Bay Packers leather jacket. (Sorry jarbabyj!) hehehe
No looking back with regrets, no wishes. When someone passes on they are not gone. You can close your eyes and center your soul and there he will be, without of the live complications, without all the health restraints a mortal body burdens, and in that place you can say whatever you feel, and whatever you wish. You are probably closer to the real soul of your grandfather now then you could have been in life.
I wish you the best in this time of mourning.
“Death is a thing with life, for the dying do not mourn.”
Nothing much to add except my condolences and my good thoughts for your family.
The best advice I can give anyone is to have no unfinished business with your loved ones. Got something to say? Say it, right now, today. I am lucky enough to have that kind of relationship with my family today, and I was so glad I did when my grandfather died a few years ago. There were no feelings of “if only I had…”, because I had done it or said it.
