My Grumpy Morning MMP

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
81

No little bigmouth frogs to eat here, so I’m eating grapes.

Apparently, someone forgot to dip them in grape flavor - about half of them are firm and crisp, and full of juice, but not a drop of flavor. They’re just like eating crunchy water.

Found out that DH and I have been volunteered to lead the charge to bring Dickens to the Carolinas. Some of our kin have already been talking to the chamber of commerce and whatever city as well as some theater types, and early responses have been positive.

Oy… Have you any ***IDEA ***how much work it is to start and run a show like this?

If you do, please tell me…

82

Ooh, lightblub jokes! Shiny!! :slight_smile:

How many Californians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Californians don’t screw in light bulbs, they screw in hot tubs!

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one - but the bulb needs to really want to change!

How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two; one to call the butler and one to mix the drinks.
What, you thought this one would be about screwing too, you perv? :stuck_out_tongue:

**Nava **-- you told that one better than I ever have :slight_smile: You sound experienced! :eek:

**Pie **-- do you like pomegranates?

**Dotty **-- I’m pretty sure I sent you some hugs last week already, but they’re never wasted, so here are some more… {{{{Dotty}}}} Hoping for a positive, er I mean negative, er… Oh you **know **what I mean… :smiley: outcome.

Hi Mork!

Yesterday was “fight your mot-quite-teenage son” day at the **Special **[del]Olympics[/del] Home. Not only did he not do his homework, he didn’t know that there was any homework.
3. F$&%ing. Hours to calm him down and then seat him down to do it.
Sucks having a twin sister in the same class… :stuck_out_tongue:

Anybody have any idea what **ems **seems so excited about? :confused:

83

Do you think my boyfriend would be freaked out if I asked him for a Braun hand blender for Christmas? I really want one but it sounds like an old married couple gift. :stuck_out_tongue:

84

I think he may freak out **more **if you ask for something that sounds like a newlywed’s couple kind of gift… :smiley:

85

Oh . . . :smack:. LOL

I’ll just buy it for myself, I think. It’s just that he’s asked me what I want for Christmas and I can’t think of anything! Except for a hand blender.

86

Up caffeinated, off to work.

87

Hallelujah! It’s a miracle… I had just sat down in my chair and I was sure that my fish was dead. I could see him across the room, looking like he was floating at an odd angle. Then, just a second ago I see him flit across the bowl. It turns out that I must have been looking at some fake grass or something.

Actually, Noonie, I’ve never eaten a pomegranate in my life. :o But the 7up sure is good. :stuck_out_tongue:

I’ve got a couple of lunches today and then it’s off to TVLand for the evening. I’m going to have to take a bottle of Pom 7up with me. :smiley:

88

so? Tell him that’s what you want. If you don’t you’ll wind up either with something that he wants, or something he wants you to wear.

89

Afternoon all! It’s beer day today and that is definitely something to be celebrated.

90

Tell him you want it to mix drinks. That’s too cool to be old married fuddy-duddies.
Hump Day blurfage, y’all. I had 15 gallons of peecans cracked last night, so the cleaning and packaging begins for another year. VWife had better get some damned good movies from Netflix.

91

Morning all; up, caffeinated and at work. Blurf!

I am so bad with jokes, especially the “bad” kind which are usually the funniest in the long run. One of my favorite things to do is to see if my daughter can get the Mini-page jokes. LOL Every once in a while, she does get them!

Sending good thoughts to Dotty.

92

Moderate blurf with overtones of harumph. Caffeine ingesting, but thus far not particularly mitigating.

Bought a Jolt cola last night – the big one shaped somewhat like a battery with a twist-off top. Used to drink it from time to time but I figured I might as well get 'em while the gettin’s good, ‘cos now that they’re Chapter 11, I don’t think there will be anymore comin’. I notice over the years they’ve been toning down the bold emphasis on the sugar and caffeine content (former slogan: “All the sugar and twice the caffeine!”) and now just blandly label it an energy drink.

Light bulb jokes today? Alright. I’ll just make some up as I go.

How many helicopter parents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to confront anyone who dares point out that it doesn’t work and tell them that they aren’t paying enough attention to the ways it which it does, and the other to comfort it and tell it how special it is.

How many Microsoft employees does it take to change a lightbulb?

Ten. One to verify that it is a legitimate light bulb, the second to verify that you have a valid license for said light bulb, the third to verify that the light bulb is being used in the socket it was authorized for, the fourth to verify that the socket is connected to a valid power source, the fifth to verify that said power source is secure at both ends, the sixth to test if power to that light bulb maybe siphoned off by another light socket in the house, the seventh to install the latest patches for the light bulb, the eighth to make sure the light bulb is being used only for the purpose of lighting at the wattage it is rated for, the ninth to activate the light bulb, and the tenth to tell you that you need to change it your damn self.

How many Apple employees does it take to change a light bulb?

Hey, look, Microsoft’s bulb has burned out.

How many iPhone or iPod users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. If you want it replaced you have to send the room it’s in back to have it repaired.

How many cavemen does it take to change a light bulb?

What the hell is a “light bulb?”

Alright, enough for now.

Pie - Pomegranate 7-up? I’m not sure I could stomach that. I hate 7-up. I love pomegranate though.

VBob - Ha! I don’t think I could contain my laughter. I mean back injuries suck, but there’s something cartoon-like about that. Especially if she was bending over at the time.

Nooner - Hi Noon! Hey, wasn’t that an Eastwood movie?

93

How many real men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real men aren’t afraid of the dark.

How many male chauvanists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bitch better have it done by the time I get home.

How does a narcissist change a light bulb?

He (or she) stands on a ladder while the world revolves around them.

94

How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?None. It’s a hardware problem

95

Old adage: Beware of programmers that carry screwdrivers.

96

What? There’s a movie called “High Noone”? I could have sworn nobody got any footage of that escapade!!! :eek: :eek: :smiley:

97

How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two.

98

But… I like screwing…! :wink:

ETA: Also – in Soviet Russia, lightbulb screws you! :eek:

99

One more day at work, One more day…One more day at work, One more day…One more day at work, One more day…

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

100

Mornin’.

Nava, you *do *sound experienced. :slight_smile: Though I know from experience that the difference between a nagging Jewish grandma and a nagging Southern European grandma isn’t much… my Portuguese grandmother could muster up guilt trips like no other (You’re ten minutes late! Do you know how much I worried? I was sure some strange man snatched you right up off the street, walking home alone from school like that. They do that to girls who are late coming home from school, don’t you know that?)

Experiencing some moderate blurfage this morning.

Oh… and I guess I can start counting down to vacation now, right? Just a week to go!!! WHEEEEEEE!