Ok, I wake up this morning, well, actually, it was about noon when I woke up, and I wander downstairs to go get something to eat. Lo and behold, there are still these little weird pastry things that taste like sugar sweetened with the flavour of apples [damned American supermarket bakeries], and my first thought is, “Must have some, but where’s the milk?” So, I walk over to the fridge and open it up, and pull out the milk. To my surprise, a bottle of Heinecken beer falls out and bounces on the floor, just barely missing my foot. About a minute later, when I realize what just happened, I pick up the beer, and thinking it might have a twist-off cap [I was barely awake and hadn’t realized what kind of beer it was until afterward], I take a dishtowel and try to open up the bottle to let some of the foam out that was already spewing forth, threatening to erupt and render everything in the area scented of beer. My mom walks downstairs, emits a nearly toxic string of farts, and asks, “is that your breakfast,” meaning the beer. I, of course, am still trying to keep it from exploding in my sleepy little mind, and try to explain. Then, after being told to do so, I drop it in the sink to do whatever it wants, and exit the area since I can’t eat when I am grossed out by certain noxious fumes. So, now my left hand smells like beer, and the kitchen smells like farts. :rolleyes: Thanks mom. 
I’ve only been up for half an hour.
What a heartwarming story! You oughta write greeting cards. 
Now my day seem much brighter, thank you.
Hey, now, dont put it down too much. Beer is the breakfast of champions.
As for the farting, well… That I could do without. but give me some pizza with that, and man, I’m in guy-breakfast-heaven.
Consider how much better off you are than the man whose Mom smells like beer and whose hand smells like farts.
[sub]One thing I’ve found from having young kids is that Jim Carrey and fart jokes now have some charm.[/sub]
My hand smells of Cheetos, but you don’t hear me commenting.
So what did your dads hands smell like?
Beer! It’s not just for breakfast anymore!
I’m not even gonna tell you what MY hands smell like right now!
NO clue. And I have no clue what my mom’s hands smelled like. PRobably cigarettes. Eh, whatever. What the hell happened this morning that gave me the impetus to post this?