I’m so sorry for your loss. But glad, like you, that her pain is over.
My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family…
I’m so sorry, Johnny. 
hugs
Condolences, Johnny.
I’m so very sorry for your loss.
My condolences and prayers are going to you, your family and all who loved her. I know intimately the shock of someone you love dying of brain cancer, a close relative of my husband whom I also loved died February 29th last year. I empathize. Take care of yourself, don’t run yourself ragged trying to console your sister and the rest of your family. Right now you’re numb, but it will pass and you’ll find yourself suddenly exhausted. (YMMV, but that’s how it was with me.) Even though it was braced for, it’s still going to take a while to sink in, so conserve your strength. comfort
Thank you, everyone, for your thoughts. And thank you, Shayna for the phone call.
I’ve just been thinking about stuff. I don’t know if it’s appropriate, but it’s stuff that’s crossed my mind.
I’m glad I went to mom’s for Thanksgiving, and in December when she went to hospital. At Thanksgiving, mom was falling because of the yet-to-be-discovered tumours. She’d wake up early in the morning and try to get coffee. I slept very lightly then. I’d hear her fall, or I’d hear her try to get up and I’d go out to help. She said during my visit, ‘You’re not getting much sleep.’ She would be on the carpet with her walker beside her, and she’s worried about me not getting enough sleep!
Mom gave me her ring to give to my fiancée. The diamond like two or more karats, and set into a rather hideous gold ring. She said it was worth a bundle (five figures) and stipulated that I could only give it to my Sandy if she signed a pre-nup. Sandy wouldn’t keep it, but mom wanted to look out for me. As it turned out, I didn’t feel right about giving a ring with strings on it. Besides, there’s another part of the ring that ‘nests’ in it and I don’t have that part. Instead, I got a small ‘token’ ring – which I shouldn’t have done since I’m out of work – with the intention of giving mom’s ring to Sandy after we were married. Sandy hasn’t sent the ring I gave her back, but she would if I asked her. I figure that as long as she has it, I still have a chance. Mom so wanted me to get married. I did, too. It would have made her happy to know that I was getting married.
Mom gave me my first car – her 1966 MGB roadster that no longer ran after years of disuse. A couple of years ago I bought a hulk of a '66 MGB. Though I would have preferred British Racing Green, I decided to restore it to Old English White with a red interior like mom’s. It’s a colour scheme you don’t see all that often, and it looks good. Not BRG, but still stylish. I imagined myself driving to mom’s place in Tustin, and later, driving to her new place in Phoenix, and giving her a ride in it. I think she would have liked it. But the restoration is still not done. I’ll never get to give mom a ride in a replica of the car she gave me.
Mom and Turkka liked to go to the Reno Air Races. It was there that Turk proposed to her (and she nearly ran away, but there was no plane out). When Turk died, mom said she wanted to scatter his ashes over the Reno Airport. The airport manager said it would be no problem. When the time comes, my sister and I have decided to scatter both their ashes together at Reno. Perhaps the MG will be done by then, and I can drive them to the airport in it.
Which reminds me… Mom used to work for Gibbs Fliight Service at Montgomery Field in San Diego. She went up on an aerial burial one time. When she dumped the ashes, the slipstream took her brand new Ray Bans. She figured it was appropriate that the deceased pilot should take some Aviator shades with him.
We were in Japan the first time I saw snow. I was three. Mom and dad came into our room and woke me and my sister up and opened the shutters so that we could watch it fall. Later, mom and I went out to build a snowman. We didn’t have anything dark to use for eyes, so we just made pits in its head. That was my first snowman.
I called mom every week. Sometimes twice a week. Every time, before hanging up, I told her I loved her. In the last couple of weeks, when mom was sleeping and my sister answered the phone, I told sis to tell mom I loved her and she said she always does. I’m glad I called, and I’m glad I told mom I loved her.
Johnny, My deepest sympathies.
I’ve been following your mother’s story too and am very sorry to hear of your loss, Johnny. My prayers and good thoughts are with you and your family.
GT
I’m so sorry, Johnny. My mom is my best friend, and I can’t imagine losing her.
You have some lovely memories. Writing them down is a wonderful idea, and a great tribute to your mom.
Best,
karol
My condolences to you and your family.
A rough winter for you, my man. Please be sure to keep in touch with people who care for you, both here and irl.
Please accept my condolences to you and your family.
Oh Johnny, I am so sorry. Your mom was a hell of a gal, I feel like I know her (just a bit) from everything you’ve told us over the months and years.
And thank you for posting in START’s thread about his brother, or it might have been days before I checked this forum.
Strength and peace to you and your family.
PS- your post about the stuff you are thinking about made me cry. Your mom was so cool.
It sounds like you appreciated your mom when she was alive, Johnny, and let her know it - people can’t ask for much more than that.
Johnny - My sincere condolences. I watched my father die of lung cancer which had spread to his brain. I remember praying at the end that he would die - unlike your mother, he didn’t go peacefully. It sounds trite to say, “She’s in a better place”, but it’s true. No matter what your feelings are about an after-life, at least she’s not in pain any longer. YOu’re already starting to think about the good times. That’s what you need to focus on. She wanted you to be happy, so try, for her sake and for your own. Be strong and know you have people who care about you.
StG
My most sincere condolences for your loss. You have some wonderful memories of your mom, and she does sound like she lived life to the fullest.
When my dad died a few years ago, I felt badly because I hadn’t given him a Father’s Day card (it was early June). I went out and bought one and wrote a note to him anyway. I hope you and your family can find some peace in the knowledge that she is no longer in pain. I know that she would have treasured the Valentine’s Day card from such a loving and special son.
My good thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. You obviously loved her very much, and she knew that. As I always say when someone loses a loved one—they live forever in your heart.
Johnny, I’m so sorry to hear about your mom. My mom died after a long battle with cancer a few years ago. I understand the mix of grief and relief that goes through you at a time like this.
The last time I saw my mom, I was able to tell her good-bye, and that I loved her. It is a bit of a comfort when you can do that, and not have that stuff left unsaid.
I’m so sorry, honey. So very, VERY sorry.
My thoughts go out to you and your family, Johnny. I’m very sorry for your loss. Your Mom is in a better place now.