I’m 21, and presently a college student. I work part time here and there, but because of school cannot work year-round. So money I earn is usually short in supply. I try and be as financially independent as is feasable, but some elements of it just aren’t practical.
This is where my mom comes in. I still live with her. But my mom is a control freak. The car I drive is in her name, because the only auto insurance I can afford is through hers and in order to do that the car has to be in her name. Which means she has a ‘hostage’ if I don’t do things her way. And she has some ridiculous demands. She dictates what I wear, how long I can grow my hair, financial matters, etc. And there is little I can do but just take it becasue moving out is not financially feasable. I often feel like a ‘mama’s boy’ because she makes me do these things. True, I can defy her about it, but then my life is a living hell. I still have about 2 more years of college to go; the only thing I can do to try and make it tolerable is to spend as little time at home as possible.
Have you attempted to talk to her about this? I guess it’s kinda a stupid suggestion, but if you tried to explain to her how you wish that she would allow you a little more leeway.
Other than that, I guess all you can do is bear it. My sympathies, that doesn’t sound like a pleasant situation.
Spending as little time at home as possible sounds like what my brother does! 
Seriously though, she dictates what you wear and all of that? That’s some tough times you have to go through. I don’t have any advice for you at the moment. Hopefully, someone can help you where I can’t.
It must be tough, though. Probably feels like she has something to hold over your head every time you do things that are not to her liking. Hang in there, okay?
On having to login again, I caught Journeyman’s post:
Talking to her might help, and I hope it does. However, if you’ve tried it before, and have been shot down, it’s not pretty.
I’m guessing your mother’s reply would have gone somewhat like this: "I’m still your mother, and you still live under my roof; therefore, you must abide by my rules. Who pays the car insurance for your car? I do! You’d better be grateful every minute of your life for that! And show me that you’re grateful, too… So you better listen to me, young man… " etc., etc., etc. Definitely not the kind of thing you want to hear. (and I know, because my mom pulls a smilar routine when I go to her house… why do you think I spend as little time there as possible?)
Hopefully, you’ll be able to get out from under her iron rule (or whatever) sooner rather than later. Best of luck!
Have you considered student loans? Would it be worth it to be in some debt in 2 years if it meant you were completely independant for those two years? Or do you not really want to be completely indepedant (dishes, laundry, rent, utitlities, etc), just more independant?
Sympathies, but this is what you happen when you live off someone else’s cash, not your own. She should afford you more freedom than when you were at high school, but even though I’m still a “child” not a “parent” I do and will always respect the “not in my house” “not under my roof” thing.
The clothing/hair is a bit over the top. I could see why she might not want you to have a green mohican if it’s a small town and the neighbours have twitching curtains. I also think it would be fair enough she wouldn’t want you to dress like a vagrant, as that might reflect badly on her and look like she wasn’t giving you proper care and support. Other than that though, you’re at college not at school, and you are an adult, so it’s not really fair.
I second the idea of getting loans and then getting an apartment with roomies. Or what about paying your mom a little bit of rent in exchange for more freedom? Since I’d already been married a year by the time I was 21, I can’t really think of much more to offer.
Rather than digging a hole (or a deeper hole), I’m going to suggest sucking it up for another 1-2 years until you are out of college and (hopefully) gainfully employed in the industry of your choice. Then, untie (but do not sever) the apron strings [“I’m an adult now and I’d like to make it on my own, hopefully with your blessing” versus "I’m out of here you petty, domineering…)
In the interim, I would suggest a non-confrontational talk (wish I took my own advice twenty years ago…but I digress). What often happens, and I’m certainly not saying it is the case here, is that these annoyances fester and grow, and when they finally come out, it’s like a volcano spewing forth. A better option is to have all your issues and proposals laid out in advance and a promise to yourself that no matter the parent’s reaction, you will keep your cool. I don’t know your mother and don’t know if will work, but even if you succeed at nothing more than keeping your cool as she loses hers, you win in the long run.
Another vote for trying to live with your mom for another two years (but I do sympathize with you - adult children of controlling parents have a more difficult struggle to disengage than other adult children). You have the rest of your life to live your life your way, after you’ve finished college and moved out. Maybe you could sit down with her in the non-confrontatiional talk discussed above, and find out where she is coming from with her demands on you. If there are compromises you can make, I would say make them for the sake of your education. If she’s completely unreasonable and the only reason for her demands is “cause I said so”, well, it would be up to you whether you think you can hold on another two years or not.
Don’t forget, there are always options. Like other people have mentioned, student loans, moving in with roommates, taking fewer classes and working more, or giving up the car and bussing it so she has no leverage all might be options for you; just figure out what is most important to you and do what you need to do to make that happen.
(Also, don’t take for granted how important it is to be able to live at home while in school. It gives you a huge headstart over people who have had to go into debt for their room and board as well as their schooling.)
Well, the frustrating thing about confronting her about it, is I have on a number of occasions. And her answers are not very confirming. Either she totally denies being controlling by pointing out all my freedoms and going on and on about how lucky I am, or she give me the ‘take it or leave it approach’ either way feels like she is pouring salt on a wound.