This is basically just me ranting in a non-Pitworthy fashion, and so here it is in MPSIMS.
My mother is an alcoholic. She was sober for many years - 16, I believe. She stayed dry through her divorce from my step-father, through numerous unsuccessful relationships thereafter, etc. I was living on the other side of the state, my brother joined the Marines. Then, at some point unknown to me, she began drinking again. She didn’t hide the fact, and honestly, for years it seemed to be just a normal drinking thing. My relationship with her is as complex as they come, and so seeing that she was doing okay with it, I didn’t say too much.
Then she met her latest boyfriend, who drinks like it’s mandated by law. (What, you thought I was going to say “Like it’s going out of style?”) This has definitely not been a good thing for her, and I’ve seen a definite increase in her drinking. In December, I moved back in with her, and my brother (thankfully) got out of the Marines on a medical discharge, and he moved into the basement. All is well and good, everyone gets along, life moves on.
She doesn’t come home too often during the week, choosing instead to stay at her boyfriend’s house more often than not. What I didn’t realize until tonight is, it probably was more to hide her problem from us than anything else.
This morning she left to go fishing with said boyfriend. Came back at noonish, with a few fish, which she cleaned and stuck in the freezer. Said she was going to go out fishing again, and would be back tonight. She came home this evening, pulling slooowly into the driveway. [Sidebar: When I took her car to the store last night (because she was blocking my car in the driveway) I noticed a dent in the driver side door that I hadn’t previously noticed. I asked her about it, and she said it happened months ago, when one of my brother’s friends had backed into her car. Struck me as odd, because I’ve driven her car several times in the past few months, and never noticed the dent, nor the metal on metal sound that drew my attention to it in the first place.] She pulls into the driveway, and my brother and I are outside smoking. He goes in, telling me to let her know he’s got the rent money for her. I go to her car, where she’s talking on her cell phone, and tap on the window for her to open the passenger side door. She does so, and I sit down in the car, and the first thing I notice is, she’s drunk as a skunk. I’m horrified, because she was clearly in no condition to drive.
She finishes her cell conversation (good God, she was driving drunk AND talking on the cell phone… that she got home in one piece is certainly a miracle) and I tell her that she can’t drive like that. She says something unintelligible, and attempts to get out of the car. Only she can’t, because her door is jammed. I get out, and pry open the door, now convinced that the dent is a recent incident, because this has never been an issue before. I try again to talk to her, but she wants nothing of it. I pass my brother on the walkway, and ask him to talk to her. He asks what’s wrong, and all I can tell him is that “She’s drunk.” My brother follows her inside to figure out what the hell is going on, and wanting to know why her boyfriend let her drive in that condition.
As if on cue, her boyfriend pulls into the driveway. My mother scurries off to her room, and my brother tells the boyfriend in no uncertain terms that my mother is drunk, and not in fit condition to drive. My mother reemerges, talks to her boyfriend (in Thai, so I haven’t a clue what was said) and makes a phone call. My brother and I just look at each other. Mother finishes phone call, goes back into her room. Bro goes in to talk to her, and whispers to me to hide her keys, which I do. He talks to her, boyfriend goes out to car, I stand around feeling helpless. Mom gets up, looking for her keys. Yes, folks, my mother was ready to get BACK behind the wheel. My brother goes out to her boyfriend, tells him that Mom is not going anywhere in that condition, and is most certainly not getting behind the wheel of a car, so boyfriend leaves.
My brother and I sit down to talk to Mom, who is now in tears, most likely because she knows what’s coming. I try talking to her in my typical soothing way, but she’s swearing and yelling at me. My brother lets her have it with both barrels, which is his typical way, and for the most part, she listens meekly, aside from a few weak protests of “Shut up”. And so the night progressed, mainly with him trying to get her to explain what’s going on (not necessarily in a way that I agree with, but what can I do?) until she eventually falls asleep, muttering that she’s going to move, go away, etc., etc.
I don’t know what to do, aside from calling Al-Anon, or something, and figuring out how to help my mother, who doesn’t believe she has a problem. She could have killed someone, or herself, or gotten a DUI. She could only say that she “didn’t do anything wrong.”
I’m sad, worried, and frustrated, and feel completely helpless.
And that was my night.
