"My Naked Truth" or what I call "Bullshit"

The BBQ Pit
81

I’m not a 59 year old woman, but I am a Fat Chick. There have been, to date, 3 men who I was friends with who we both thought we’d like to take it further, and got past the snugly part to the nice foreplay part when… nothin. The soldier wouldn’t salute. These were not clinical ED issues, these were, "Nah, this just ain’t right, " issues.

A bit hard on the ego at the time, but with the protective insulation of time, I get it and there’s, uh, no hard feelings. My body isn’t for everyone, and that’s cool. My husband quite likes it, and that’s awesome.

So, yeah, I’m not sure why this story is difficult to believe. But I’m glad to hear no one else in this board has ever been sexually rejected after days or weeks or months of intimacy. It’s really not all that fun.

82

I think part of the disconnect is that many women have been in situations where things were getting hot and heavy and they decided to cool the fire midstream for one reason or another- either because they weren’t having the southernly reaction they expected or just because once they got a taste of the goods they decided they didn’t feel like making another notch in the bedpost for that particular dude. This is very, very common.

Most of is don’t then give painfully specific critiques after the fact, but there are all kinds of people in the world.

83

Speaking as a 52 year old male;

If I was in a romantic relationship with a woman, spent the weekend naked with her and nothing happened, I’d break up with her too. But I’d be very clear that the reason for the breakup was because nothing happened.

That outcome seems infinitely more likely than the “story”.

84

Oh, for sure. And this old bat doesn’t seem to like the fact that it is perfectly possible for the tables to be turned. That’s probably why quite a number of men in this thread are not exactly brimming over with sympathy.

85

See, this is it in a nutshell. The OP is saying the exact circumstances are implausible. What she’s not saying…
Not that men turn down sex. That’s totally plausible.

Not that men find certain women too unattractive / unappealing (age or weight or looks) to have sex with. That’s totally plausible.

Not that men will be brutally honest about why they rejected some woman’s interest. That’s totally plausible.

Not that some men will even frolic in a sensual manner with some women and yet not have sex with them. That’s plausible enough.

Not that men won’t go away with a woman on a trip (or have a special occasion dinner, whatever) and not do any breaking up until after it’s over to avoid any awkwardness. That’s totally plausible too.

What the OP is pitting is that a man won’t specifically go out with a woman (1) that he already knows he probably won’t be attracted to, (2) date her for several months anyway, (3) without having already gotten intimate with her, then (4) go an extended getaway with her where all they do is stay in bed nude, yet (5) still don’t have sex, where (6) at no point during all this, she doesn’t ask why they are not having sex. Then comes the inquiry and (7) he’s brutally honest when he hadn’t been before, but still reiterates a sentiment that (8) just happens to dovetail with her view of herself (She’s an awesome catch, except for that pesky age thing!) and her livelihood.

Now, for the last billionth time, I can see parts of that scenario happening simultaneously. I cannot see them happening all together at once. For example, in Shag’s case, I can’t imagine he’d invest that much time to begin with. In my own, if I’d been rebuffed like that, I wouldn’t let the rejection go on all damn weekend. I’d have to know sometime after attempts, I dunno, three and twelve. I don’t think most people could stand the repeated rejection that long and just keep going back for more.

So, if everyone that keeps all swearing this is soooo totally doable, do you really, honestly believe that every, single aspect of this (as written) could add up to most men doing exactly as this man was alleged to do? Not just bits, but EXACTLY.

86

Where has anyone said that? I’ve been rejected in this very way, by a guy I held a torch for no less. But here’s the thing… since most people’s egos are pretty fragile, it didn’t take forever on either of our parts to understand where the other was coming from. Since he was interested, there’s no way in hell he would’ve spent an entire weekend curled up in my bed naked. Sure, we’d tried sexy times before, but once he was definitely sure I wasn’t his thing, he wasn’t going to keep leading me on just for funsies. And even though I was pining away for him, I wouldn’t have kept putting myself out there again and again and again and again and again. And again and again.

I’m truly baffled how so many are not grasping that fisha is calling bullshit on the specifics, not on similar analogous situations.

87

Not all of us are as quick witted or brave as you.

88

I must be some kind of prude because it would never occur to me to go away for a weekend with a platonic friend who meshes orientationwise and engage in naked bed antics without the possibility of sex arising.

89

I was neither of those things, although I appreciate the vote of confidence.

But again, is anybody going to address the exact specifics of what’s proposed as plausible or not, or is this thread simply going to be about strawmen that the OP want on about?

90

Thank you!

91

Snark fail.

92

Maybe he is making excuses because he can’t afford Viagra. Or maybe the episode is based on a true story. Like JFK.

At night all cats are gray. Maybe it happened, maybe it didn’t, but it sure is convenient that it happened just in time to use to hype her book.

Regards,
Shodan

93

Ok, I participated earlier in the thread, but got caught up in post-work activities so missed out on where the discussion has gone.

I feel like faithfool is spot on. From what I can tell, it seems like some of the people supporting the story / author are doing so because “not every guy wants to stick his dick in any hole available.” I don’t see anyone disputing that. I think you’d be hard-pressed to find someone who would say that all men are mindless sex robots who will do anything (and anyone) in order to ejaculate.

But it’s the totality of the circumstances that put the author’s story in doubt.

  1. She’d been dating the guy for a while, and they were clearly on a romantic trajectory.

  2. They spent considerable time in the past being naked. (Not just showering in front of each other or changing clothes, but “cuddling”)

  3. This guy, who couldn’t bear to tell her throughout the weekend or previous dates that “he just wasn’t that into her” suddenly had the nerve to tell her in the most brutally honest (and ego-damaging) way that she was so wrinkly, he couldn’t get it up because he was afraid he’d stick it in between the wrong flaps of skin.

  4. She has a book to promote and is a speaker who presumably focuses on empowerment.

Like faithfool, yeah, there are elements of this that I can see happening, independent of one another, but this story looks, sounds, walks, and feels like a duck.

A wrinkly, old duck. :wink:

94

I’m not really sure what to say about them, except that the exact specifics are close enough to my real life experiences that I have no difficulty believing them to be true. Have I had precisely those experiences in that order? Well no, starting with I’m not 59 and don’t have 3 day weekends…but substitute “not a traditionally attractive body type” and “camping for a week,” and it works.

95

“Would you hang around all weekend in bed, naked, with another guy?”

– Vincent Vega (Paraphr.)

96

Thank you, Shodan and Calatin, that’s it exactly.

And WhyNot, would that be the majority of men you’ve been involved with who would do the same thing? Or was that a one- or two-off? Further, the guys that did this to you, were they also turned off by your body type in advance and you both persevered? Also, was there anything in your relationships that parallels the author’s circumstances (IE: motivational speaker about the very issue that is central to her work and happens to immediately proceed her new book coming out)? Because if not, that’s where the disconnect is coming in between the two factions. We’ve all been there over a specific point or two, but some of us are doubting the viability of it all happening at once with many different men.

97

This is not stated in the story. You’re inferring it. Another plausible reading is that this was as much a learning experience for him–he thought he’d be able to be attracted, and discovered he wasn’t.

Also not stated in the story. I was actually thinking they may have only met IRL once or twice before the weekend in question.

See number 2. (Also note this is also not stated in the story.)

“All they do?” Not stated in the… you get it by now. But on the other hand, whether it was “all they did” or not doesn’t seem important to the argument to me so I’ll just leave it at that.

Right, because (on one plausible reading) he thought he’d be up for it, and he was wrong.

This is utterly unremarkable

Yes, because now they’re on the phone and he’s been asked point blank. Not utterly unremarkable, but pretty unremarkable.

I do think the conversation has been paraphrased and truncated. I’d guess she drew a lot of this out of him with her questions, rather than him coming right out with it up front. Though that’s not even close to impossible, really.

98

Zoid, your girlfriend back then was friends with Robin Korth, the future International speaker and writer? And you passed up a 3-way with her? Sure, her personality was wrinkly back then but her body probably wasn’t. I’m surprised she didn’t put your rejection in her book.

dba fred, International speaker and writer
(I have vocalized in more than 1 nation and I did write this)

99

This comes right up to the border of slut shaming. :frowning:

100

How?

We aren’t criticizing her for being sexually active or anything of the sort. We’re merely saying that we doubt the authenticity of this story.