"My Naked Truth" or what I call "Bullshit"

[Scumpup]

Yes, there are. I just don’t think zoid’s story rings any truer than the one that inspired the OP.

[Frylock]

Is this, specifically, the claim you find unbelievable?

When I was in my early 20’s I had a girlfriend who repeatedly tried to get me to let her friend suck my dick or have a three way. She felt sorry for her because she didn’t have a boyfriend and was always complaining that no one would touch her.

I may have to run a poll on this…

(And is the thing you find unbelievable “that this would ever happen to anyone” or “that this would happen to Zoid?”)

[Scumpup]

Yes, that is the claim. “Let her friend suck my dick or have a three way?” Please. This sounds exactly like the 7th grade boys I teach boasting to each other and just as likely to be true.

[Drunky_Smurf]

Or they were prostitutes and they were used to sharing Johns.

[Frylock]

I’m pollin’ it.

[Scumpup]

You da man!

[VinylTurnip]

@Scumpup

Yes, that is the claim. “Let her friend suck my dick or have a three way?” Please. This sounds exactly like the 7th grade boys I teach boasting to each other and just as likely to be true.

“My friend wants to suck your dick.”

“No.”

“*Please *let her suck your dick. She really wants to, and I want her to.”

“Absolutely not.”

“Come on! She said she’s, like, really good at sucking dick. She’ll totally suck your dick right now. Please let my friend suck your dick.”

“No chance. Look, I’m simply not going to budge on this getting-my-dick-sucked thing. I’m sorry.”

[Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew]

@elucidator

You have to ignore your dick, there is no reasoning with it.

“Gimmee that!”
“Forget it. She’s a tornado of issues, needy, greedy and insecure”
“Want it! Want it now!”
“Remember last week, she was wearing a ‘Team Edward’ t-shirt…”
“That was irony! Want that!”
“No, it wasn’t. She started to talk about it and you tried to hide.”
“Don’t care, gimmee!”
“She has four cats. Fluffy, Mr. Whiskers…”
OK! OK, forget it, gimmee that one!"…

Look out, Mr. Whiskers!

[Typo_Negative]

@faithfool

What the OP is pitting is that a man won’t specifically go out with a woman (1) that he already knows he probably won’t be attracted to, (2) date her for several months anyway, (3) without having already gotten intimate with her, then (4) go an extended getaway with her where all they do is stay in bed nude, yet (5) still don’t have sex, where (6) at no point during all this, she doesn’t ask why they are not having sex. Then comes the inquiry and (7) he’s brutally honest when he hadn’t been before, but still reiterates a sentiment that (8) just happens to dovetail with her view of herself (She’s an awesome catch, except for that pesky age thing!) and her livelihood.

QFT

The logic is unassailable. All of these things simply cannot be true.

[Scumpup]

@VinylTurnip

“My friend wants to suck your dick.”

“No.”

“*Please *let her suck your dick. She really wants to, and I want her to.”

“Absolutely not.”

“Come on! She said she’s, like, really good at sucking dick. She’ll totally suck your dick right now. Please let my friend suck your dick.”

“No chance. Look, I’m simply not going to budge on this getting-my-dick-sucked thing. I’m sorry.”

“Well then, what about a three way? Then, if your dick did, perchance, happen to get sucked we wouldn’t really know who did the sucking, right? Could have been me, could have been her…could have been anybody, right? And, if anybody sucked your dick then it’s like nobody sucked your dick, right? C’Mon, whaddya say?”

[eclectic_wench]

I was brought up Catholic, and one of the priests at the church we went to had this incredibly cringe-inducing habit of building every homily around a Very Profound And Meaningful Story That Had Genuinely Happened To Him And Just Happened To Teach The Exact Lesson That He Found In This Week’s Gospel. Every one of those stories *could *have happened, it wasn’t like they were about little green men picking him up and bringing him to see the face of God…it’s just that everything about them made it blindingly clear, to anyone with even the most rudimentary bullshit radar, that they *hadn’t *happened, at least not the way he told them. There was probably some seed of truth in each one, but then he’d reshaped the actual story to fit the lesson he was trying to teach.

This story has exactly the same feel. Some variant on it may well have happened, but as told…nahhhh.

[Battle_Pope]

@fisha

So, I delved into the commentary @ Huffpo.

This comment, even though I agree with most of it, is just priceless. Do people actually talk like this?

“There is some imbalance in perception and understanding here. Sure objectification is one of the sore legacies of patriarchy and a masculine-dominant social narrative. But it can be a slippery slope if the so-called ‘objectifier’ is also objectified in a hasty gesture of reactivity. The feminine must also be able to hold space for authentic reflection from both sides, instead of quickly jumping into a victim mode. Physical and emotional realities of arousal, intimacy and empathy cannot be unilaterally forced or demanded, and they need to be allowed their own unfolding in a non-threatening, non-judgmental environment. Ultimately, the choice of being ‘hurt’ is a personal choice, the responsibility of which cannot be ‘outsourced’ to the other. I would love to hear the voice of Dave too, so that this delicate subject achieves greater wholeness of perspective and depth of nuance.”

or

“I’d like to hear Dave’s side of this story.”

Dave’s not here man!

[RivkahChaya]

@eclectic_wench

I was brought up Catholic, and one of the priests at the church we went to had this incredibly cringe-inducing habit of building every homily around a Very Profound And Meaningful Story That Had Genuinely Happened To Him And Just Happened To Teach The Exact Lesson That He Found In This Week’s Gospel.

-snip-

This story has exactly the same feel. Some variant on it may well have happened, but as told…nahhhh.

Just like every story in Chicken Soup for the Soul really, truly happened, just the way it was told in the book.

[Typo_Negative]

“…and now you know THE REST of the story”.

[Kimballkid]

@Frylock

There are people some of whom identify as poly who would treat sex this casually. I knew two such people in high school. I don’t mean to say this is inherent to the poly lifestyle, I was just casting about for an example of a crowd where something like this is not unheard of.

I mean I have two friends who are married and who also go to parties where each has seed with someone else, no strings attached. Knowing that this occurs, I don’t know why you would think the pity seed scenario is so hard to believe.

@Frylock

Seed should be sex.

Seed made it funnier. Also, how does it go from sex in the first paragraph to seed in the second?

@Frylock

The larger point is that there are people known to treat seed extremely casually.

Still spreading your seed I see.

[shiftless]

Gah, why did I read that tripe? So, assuming what she wrote is true, she is offended that a guy won’t have sex with her when she wants. So offended she writes an article about what a horrible person he is for not giving her what she wants, when she wants it. Maybe she could shed some light on when exactly a gentleman is morally obliged to put out. Is it after the third date? Once he has seen you naked?

This would have been an extremely distasteful article if man had written it about a women he was dating. It is no less unpleasant from the woman’s point of view.

[Slithy_Tove]

@faithfool

(although I’m not certain where Slithy Trove really stands – his last post talks about thin skins, so, hmmmm)

Yea, who knows what the Hell I’m saying, or even how to spell my name?

I guess I’d starve as a self-help guru, since my “Find Your SO” motivational speech would just be a two-slide PowerPoint:

1. They have to really do it for you
2. They have to really be there for you

Robin Korth failed on 1, Dave the Knave on 2. So it’s either a draw, or the usual dating world standoff where party A claims the moral high ground; party B “who cares less, wins.”

[dba_Fred]

I tried to read Korth’s book but the pages were wrinkled, so I couldn’t get up for it.

[clairobscur]

@Labrador_Deceiver

Yes, you fucking are. His post said exactly what I said it did. He didn’t say guys fuck anything, he called bullshit on the idea that a guy would spend an entire weekend naked and in sexual situations with a woman, only to say no to sex because he’s unattracted to her.

Man here (mentioning it because I’m often mistaken for a woman, here).

I disagree. It seems believable to me. As already stated, he might have been attracted to her, but not to her body, and thought and hoped it could work sexually nevertheless and gave his best try. And it didn’t, so he eventually had to admit to it. Other possibility : he realized early on it wouldn’t work, but was embarrassed and reluctant to hurt her feelings. Third possibility : he would have wanted to have sex with her but couldn’t get it up, and used her appearance as an excuse to hide the fact that he can’t perform.

So, yes, believable.

And no, men don’t put their dicks in anything that is offered, by the way.

[JackieLikesVariety]

And no, men don’t put their dicks in anything that is offered, by the way.

good thing someone finally pointed that out :rolleyes:

seriously, did you not see the other 20 bazillionty times someone said that?