Can anyone recommend how I can tell my neighbor his bedroom antics at 1 am are waking me up? It isn’t just a general squeek and bump, it sounds like one of the bed posts is scraping on the floor…over and over and over again. Not only is it something I don’t particularily want to hear, it wakes me up every night (new girlfriend). However, I do like the guy and I don’t want to embaress him or screw up his love life…
any suggestions?
Make some noise yourself. Seriously, put a radio or TV on at some time when you know he’s in the bedroom. Chances are that he’s just not aware of how thin the walls/floors are.
Of course, the problem is that he may just think that you’re being inconsiderate and that you’ve turned it right up. So I’d suggest a few telephone conversations from your bedroom, as he’ll be able to gauge the noise level better given that he’ll know the rough range over which most people talk on the phone.
If that fails, tell him.
Record it some night and leave the tape in his mail box anonymously? Other than that, I have no idea other than straight up telling him to his face.
By the way–you’d probably get a ton more suggestions over in IMHO. Let a mod know and they’d probably move this thread for you.
Oops…wasn’t sure where to post this… I’ll do that…
I’ll just scoot this over to IMHO.
bibliophage
moderator GQ
Bang on the wall?
The neighbor might get jealous until he tries it.
Slip a kind note under the door explaining that the walls and floors are thin and he may not realize the noise etc…
Is there any harm in just mentioning it face to face? I mean, the easiest way to not embarass him is to just put it out there like it’s nothing to be embarassed about (and really, it isn’t). Be mature and courteous and it shouldn’t be a big deal.
Make sure you ask him if there’s anything that can be done about the noisy bed, rather than asking him to change his amorous habits. Maybe put towels under the scraping bedposts?
My boyfriends neighbor met him at the mailbox one day and said, “You know I like to be quiet at night.” He said nothing else but the point was well taken because we weren’t playing the music loud. It was awkward but better than coming out and saying the obvious.
He’s got an answering machine, right? So the next time he’s making too much noise, call up. Since he’s busy, he probably won’t answer, and then you can yell “Oh, ahh, baby, yes” at him through his answering machine.
Oh, wait, you didn’t want to disrupt his love life. In that case you might have to just talk to him. You might want to pretend to be puzzled; “I can’t imagine what might be making the noise; you aren’t moving furniture around, are you?” This might save him embarassment. However, he is a guy, after all, he’s not going to get too embarassed that someone knows he’s having sex.
You should scale the wall and videotape them having sex through the window. If they’re keeping you up, you might as well enter the wonderful and mysterious world of voyeuristic pornography!
I remember having neighbors like this; they lived across the air shaft from me (1 story up), and would leave the window open while going at it. She, in particular, was really, really … um, vocal. Neighbors complained to the manager, Terry (who lived on-site). Terry went over to discuss the matter, and later told me about the discussion. He delicately informed the couple that neighbors were complaining about their making noise; they responded indignantly. “We don’t make noise – we don’t play loud music, we’re hardly ever home…” Terry tried again: “I think they’re complaining about noise you make at certain times.” They got it; the woman’s face got very, very red, and they started keeping the window closed.
Keep score.
Put the date and Time on a 3x5 card with what you think what the performance was. 10 being a super great lay, zero being …well married. sign it “Your neighbor” and write short comments on style and duration on the back.
Slip a few of these underneath his door and eventually he’ll get the picture and take action.
…least he could do is invite you for a thressome : /
I have a problem with the neighbors in my place only with music instead. Its as if they don’t realise their stereo’s have volume controls that go down too. How much of an ass do you have to be to completely disregard the fact of thin walls and deep bass? Sorry for the hijack.
This reminds of one time I was at a crowded campground somewhere in the redwoods of California. This couple was having sex in their little dome tent and "Oh Dave!! Oh Dave!! Oh DAAAVE!!! was ringing out amongst the tall trees. I could have spit on their tent they were so close. It was a riot.
Then there was my old roommate having loud sex with his girlfriend in his waterbed. I mean it was like splishing and splashing and waves crashing against the wall and yelling and screaming - overall a very raucous affair. I just told him that the plaster was chipping off the ceiling or something semi-humorous and they calmed down a little.
I agree with a similar approach as suggested by jellen92, but instead of a note, just take him aside for a few minutes and politely ask him to lower the volume. Focus on the noise aspect and not the, um, activity. Since you like him, it won’t be a big stinkin’ deal. He’ll probably be the one who is embarrassed (though it is a good gloat too).
Just make an audio recording of it. Then play it back real loud when they are home & awake.