My October Movieline Column SUCKS . . .

Eve,

I think that late Robert Heinlein said it best: “Editors don’t like the taste of anything until they pee in it first.”

Stranger in a Strange Land I think.

The witch of Endor is mentioned in I Samuel 28.

Eve, I enjoyed your column as written. I’m sorry they sucked the life out of it.

I thought the joke was on “Moorehead”…I used to get razzed in high school for reading books by Michael Moorcock. Ah, the blessings of the educational process… :rolleyes:

OK, I had to quit Movieline. This is the answer I’d gotten from my editor:

“Virginia and I both edit your column that’s a shame that you think the column has turned out so badly lately. In fact, nobody on this end is doing anything different than was done in the past. It’s Virginia’s opinion, however, that the column has been less funny at the same time that it’s been too long, she thinks it’s gotten longer and recently we’ve taken it back in length. In addition, I think your idea of what’s funny differs from hers, b/c I notice she does change things in Bottom Shelf that seem to me arbitrary and do change the rhythm (no offense, but I don’t think she cares much). Quite honestly, between us, Virginia rewords EVERYTHING in this magazine just for the hell of it, it most certainly is not just your column and while I can sympathize with your feelings about that, there’s not too much I can do. She has been annoyed that the column requires that I explain
what certain things are (ie: what the idea behind the Winky Dink program was with a description of the magic screen for readers who wouldn’t know what that was), and that you might take a look at the story from the viewpoint of someone who isn’t familiar with the material.”

So I am sending this letter to them today:

“Please accept this as my resignation, as of the March issue (you have Bottom Shelves through Jan/Feb). With the way my column has been rewritten for the last few months, I simply can no longer afford to have my name attached to it—a humor column with the jokes removed somehow loses its purpose. No hard feelings—it’s been a good run (eight years!) and I’ve enjoyed working for Movieline. But, as Fanny Brice once said, the best of legs must part.”

No doubt I will have to explain to them who Fanny Brice was . . .

Eve,

Thanks for the heads up before I actually sent them a check for my subscription. Instead, what they will get along with my cancellation is a short note stating that “since Eve Golden will no longer be writing for Movieline, I’m afraid I will have no use for your magazine any longer.” Then I will order your books from Amazon.

Good luck in whatever the future brings you.

Wow, resigning over a matter of principle, I thought that only happened in the movies. I salute you, and I hope you find another position worthy of your courage and your talent.

Wow, Eve, color me impressed. You showed moral courage in resigning for a principle. Apparently, your editors must think their readership are as dull and humorless as they are. Anyone who doesn’t know Winky-Dink And You or Fanny Brice(!!!) has no business editing a pop culture mag. Heck, I wasn’t even bornwhen Winky Dink And You was on, but I know about the magic screen. Your editors seem as lost as a fundamentalist in a library.
I’m going to make a point of giving you books as Christmas prezzies to fellow movie queens, and, in some small way, add
my bit to your royalty statement.

I will never read Joe Queenan again.

Eve, I really admire you; I know how hard it is to give up a paycheck for a principle. But when the response you get is “she edits everything, for no reason, so live with it,” I absolutely see why you walked.

Good luck in finding another venue where your myriad and obvious gifts will be appreciated – and in finding a humor editor who posesses an actual sense of humor. Be sure to tell Premiere/Esquire et al. that you come with your own legion of fans – then just tell us what magazine to buy. :slight_smile:

Thanks, guys, you really are sweet . . . I think I am going to retreat into my lair for awhile and Go Garbo, as I really am rather demoralized about all this, after eight years of being one of their most popular columnists. What I do is WRITE, there IS nothing else in my life, so all I have left now is my books . . .

Premiere doesn’t want me, as they already have Paul Rudnick (aka Libby Gelman Waxner) doing a similar column. I’ve sent off some of my work to Harpers & Queen, Tatler and Esquire, though I don’t have much hope (editors have their Pets and it’s very hard to get your foot in the door even when you’re established).

So, thanks again—if y’all will excuse me, I’m going to skulk away for some time and Think About Things. Jeez, now I know why Dorothy Parker was always slitting her wrists every other week . . .

Don’t say that to your editor, you’ll have to explain who Garbo was.