My penis is the largest object in the solar system.

Seriously. It’s huge.

Is it strangely attractive?

Dude, if you’ve got specks of things orbiting around your penis,

A) I don’t think the ladies want to know about it
B) You should see a doctor.

I’m just sayin’ . . . ya know.

I don’t have to go anywhere. He can see it if he looks to the east after sunset.

Massive sequential thread potential.

The operative word being massive.

So big light bends as it passes by…

C) Those are Klingons.

Naturally. Small penises are not honorable.

What would be the point of having a penis that large?

I mean, I highly doubt any woman would want that anywhere near here.

Mine’s so big it’s got a multi-galaxy government called the United Federation of Shecky’s Penis.

It’s so big it doesn’t even return Dick Cheney’s calls.

This thread has no staying power, however. I make no comments about your penis.