First off, forgive me if this sounds whiney, as that is not my intent at all.
I have some things going on right now that I would sort of like to share with somebody, and I don’t think the other involved party would appreciate it if I spoke to any of our friends/family members at this point. I’m pretty new to SDMB, but the group of people here seem to be pretty intelligent, insightful people, and since I don’t think I know any of you personally, this seemed like a good place to share
So, anyway. I have been with my SO for about 2 years now, and we have had a great relationship. We are each other’s best friends, in addition to all the romantic entanglements involved.
Well, about 3-4 months ago, she declared that she was pretty sure she was a lesbian. This, of course, does not make me feel real great. I’ve been holding this all inside since then, and it’s starting to drive me a little insane.
I don’t think she’s changed her mind at all, and needless to say, it has put quite a strain on all aspects of our relationship. Were we not living together and stuck with a lease for another 6 months, I’m pretty sure she’d be out of here right now.
I don’t think I’ve been as supportive as I could be, but then again, I think I’d be less than human if it didn’t bother me. It comes through sometimes. I can be a little snappy, I’m a little bitter, and I mean, it makes me feel betrayed… and all of this makes me feel guilty afterwards. I know that some of this is irrational, but since when has human behaviour been rational?
In addition to the confusion over her sexual orientation, she’s also been extremely… ‘asexual’. I don’t know if that’s the right word. Basically, she thinks she’s probably a lesbian, but at the same time, has no sexual desires towards anything. She could be being less than honest with me to protect my feelings, but I’m pretty sure she’s telling the truth. I’d probably be able to tell if she wasn’t. Were this not the case, I’d probably have told her that she needs to go out and ‘do her thing’ as it were, even though I think that’s certainly not what I, personally, want her to do.
So this is all quite frustrating and mind-boggling to me at the moment. I really just needed to blurt it all out. I was hoping that perhaps somebody else out there has gone through a similar situation, or has some advice, etc, etc. It’d be nice to feel like I’m not going through this so alone.
-tt1