I’m with msmith on this one. First, you don’t want to say it this way, but he needs to learn to give into a little bit of peer pressure. I know that doesn’t sound good, but let me explain. For things that are not as important, social trends and things, he needs to go with the flow sometimes while still maintaining his individuality. This will not only give him credibility when he needs to be an individual on the important things (drugs, cheating, whatever), but also bring him into a situation where he is more comfortable interacting with his peers. Sure, some of the things I’m interested in aren’t what people like to talk about – so in most social situations, I don’t talk about them, even if that means I’m sacrificing a little bit of individuality. An aloof “I’m better than them” mentality is a harmful worldview for your son to acquire. Even if he does not want to freak dance himself, it shouldn’t ruin his impression of this girl that she likes to do so. Let her do her thing, and go later and talk to her about other stuff if he’s not interested in that. Everybody, teens especially, have all sorts of pressures to be like their different influences: parents, peers, friends, whatever. In the end, we are all products of combinations of all those influences, and being a teenager is about learning how to balance them. Maintaining your individuality while being respectful and understanding of others is essential to that. Eventually he will mold anyway, but adopting a more mature attitude now will make the transition easier for him and prevent him from being excluded.
Remember, we are all peer pressured, all the time; it’s called society. A few years ago I never would have allowed myself to greet somebody with “sup”, and might have looked down on (white) people who did. But now it’s just normal, despite the fact that I’m a white engineering student at an Ivy League school. I still dance when necessary at parties, even though I’m not a huge fan of dancing. Why? Because that’s what people do, and if I want to meet girls, and, um, know them, that’s what’s required.
If he takes that approach, of trying to appreciate or at least respect what others are doing, he will end up over time much happier than if he goes to the dean and requests that they play less hip-hop at parties or teach (in what form would this be? mandatory dance class before the dance?) other styles of dancing. I can assure you nobody wants to learn to waltz. Going to the dean will only separate him further from his peers as the narc/crybaby of the grade.
And for the love of God, don’t talk to him about sex. It’s awkward enough to hear it from your dad, even though that’s probably appropriate. Hearing about it from your mom is just cruel.