[QUOTE=Bricker]
Yeah, whenever I have to pay my credit card bill a few days after the fact, they’re always sweetness, light, and understanding.
[/QUOTE]
Ironically, your credit card company is probably generally HAPPY for you not to pay your bill, at least for a while, as they make their money in interest. But that is neither here nor there.
More relevantly, we are certainly only hearing one side of the story, but if we believe the OP, then her son is someone who has always made his payments, but who has sometimes been a few days late due to issues with his business. If we take this at face value, and if his ex does in fact call him up and scream and threaten legal action every time the bill is even a day late; then the OP is in fact right to criticize her (imho). Of course, it could well be the case that every time his payment is late, he just lets it slide and slide UNTIL she calls up and screams at him…
[QUOTE=jacquilynne]
How do you suppose her landlord feels when she’s just a few days late with the rent? Do you suppose her bank waives her overdraft fees when she’s just a few days late covering her cheques?
[/QUOTE]
Are you kidding? Have you read the thread (and other child support threads)? Everybody knows that the bitches who have the audacity to get themselves pregnant don’t use child support for rent or bills. They use it to support the weekly expense of coke and new clothes (to attract other men, so they can get themselves knocked up again, so they can have more money to buy new clothes, so they can attract new men, etc etc).
[QUOTE=RickJay]
Because living off child support is the sweet life. That’s why you see so many single mothers who draw child support and work low-wage jobs driving Ferraris and living in mansions, and laughing it up in Monaco casinos with Hollywood stars.
I don’t understand why these people who are paying support and claim to be really concerned their kids aren’t getting the money don’t challenge for custody.
[/QUOTE]
That does not seem fair, it is very hard for Father’s to win custody unless the Mother is found unfit. Why do you assume that those complaining did not try and fail? Unless someone can cite me as being wrong, the courts overwhelming decide in favor of the mother in custody cases.
I’m also kind of curious as to why you’re begrudging your grandchild the money. It doesn’t seem like the child enters into the picture for you as anything but an extention of the mother.
[QUOTE=Not a Well Woman]
Ok…
By cranking, I mean that if he doesn’t pay her exactly on the first of the month, she instigates court proceedings, sends him threatening letters, some legally done and some not, and she calls him on his cell phone at all hours screaming so loudly that I have heard every word she says even when I am standing on the other side of the room.
He works very hard at his own business, and sometimes he has to pay her a few days after the fact because he had to wait for a check or whatever. He has never missed a payment. With her Gloria Allred-like attorney she tries to make a case against him and tries to raise the already ridiculous amount that he already gives her whenever the spirit seems to move her. She uses his past problem with alcohol as a way to gain sympathy, but he has long been sober (four years as of this august) and he still has no chance of gaining custody at this point.
She has 3 children, the youngest of which is my son’s. Her two other kids were the result of an early marriage (according to my calculations, she must have been 17). Everyone around here except for me thinks that her pregnancy is fine and why am I so upset about it.
Todays unwanted neglected child is tomorrow’s criminal/rapist/misfit/depression case. Take your pick. It’s going to be a long haul.
Thanx for your feedback. I just need to rant.
[/QUOTE]
If he is failing to pay the child support on time, she is not cranking, she is just not being accommodating to his failure to comply with the courts verdict.
Her disbelief in Birth Control is dumb and probably harmful to her kids, but your son is at great fault for hooking up with her in the first place and not insisting on BC.
[QUOTE=Not a Well Woman]
Todays unwanted neglected child is tomorrow’s criminal/rapist/misfit/depression case.
[/QUOTE]
Then no time like the present for your son to become much more active in his child’s life!
Truthfully, from your post - you seem very involved in your son’s life to be able to listen on his calls and VERY willing to make wild guesses about the facts involving your son’s ex-wife.
Of course I wish for the child to have support, but that is not what my rant was about.
No matter what support the baby gets, it will be insufficient. There is no substitute for a healthy family situation.
And yes, you are right. My son needs to look further than the physical attributes of a woman in order to find a suitable mate. If you like, I can give you his number and you can call him up and tell him that.
[QUOTE=MaxTheVool]
Ironically, your credit card company is probably generally HAPPY for you not to pay your bill, at least for a while, as they make their money in interest.
[/QUOTE]
Still, there’s that pesky late-charge.
Keep cranking, ex-daughter-in-law! Better than *me * paying to raise the child, for once.
[QUOTE=Not a Well Woman]
And yes, you are right. My son needs to look further than the physical attributes of a woman in order to find a suitable mate. If you like, I can give you his number and you can call him up and tell him that.
[/QUOTE]
I wasn’t going to jump in here, because I think you’re in a tough situation seeing what’s going on and not being able to do much about it. BUT…this last comment I couldn’t pass by. I don’t have grown kids, so I may not have the least clue what I’m talking about, but it seems to me that if your son makes bad choices…and I’m assuming from what you say here that he tends to do so…it might not be such a good idea to rant at your ex-daughter-in-law and make excuses for him.
Serafeena, dear…It is quite impossible to effect change in another person criteria as far as romantic issues are concerned and so far, I have only made suggestions. But it was quite possible for her to have avoided getting knocked up. With all of the birth control options for women at this day and age, It really puzzles me as to why there is still so much unwanted pregnancy.
[QUOTE=Not a Well Woman]
Serafeena, dear…It is quite impossible to effect change in another person criteria as far as romantic issues are concerned and so far, I have only made suggestions.
[/QUOTE]
Well, of course, but that wasn’t really my point. My point is more that he has to live with the consequences of what he does, and not having excuses handed to him by his mother might help him think a little harder about the choices he makes.
Not wanting a pregnancy can go both ways…if the mother doesn’t want it, she can use birth control, true. If the father doesn’t want it, so can he. He has one or two options available to him, as well.
[QUOTE=Not a Well Woman]
Serafeena, dear…It is quite impossible to effect change in another person criteria as far as romantic issues are concerned and so far, I have only made suggestions. But it was quite possible for her to have avoided getting knocked up. With all of the birth control options for women at this day and age, It really puzzles me as to why there is still so much unwanted pregnancy.
[/QUOTE]
Not to mention a tried and fairly true option for men. But, perhaps you are confusing an unwanted pregnancy with a pregnancy that was not approved by you in advance.
Vevila, I assure you, I am on the same planet as you, and yes, as far as I am concerned, birth control IS a woman’s issue. When men can get pregnant, then it will be up to them as well.
[QUOTE=What Exit?]
That does not seem fair, it is very hard for Father’s to win custody unless the Mother is found unfit. Why do you assume that those complaining did not try and fail? Unless someone can cite me as being wrong, the courts overwhelming decide in favor of the mother in custody cases.
Jim
[/QUOTE]
Hard AND very expensive. The legal fees add up very, very fast.
[QUOTE=Not a Well Woman]
Vevila, I assure you, I am on the same planet as you, and yes, as far as I am concerned, birth control IS a woman’s issue. When men can get pregnant, then it will be up to them as well.
[/QUOTE]
Your attitude confuses me. If the woman either wants to be pregnant, or doesn’t care one way or the other, and the man doesn’t want her to be pregnant, how on earth does it become her responsibility to use birth control?
[QUOTE=Not a Well Woman]
Vevila, I assure you, I am on the same planet as you, and yes, as far as I am concerned, birth control IS a woman’s issue. When men can get pregnant, then it will be up to them as well.
[/QUOTE]
Well, clearly it is an issue because your son is now responsible for the child that he helped to create.
[QUOTE=Not a Well Woman]
Vevila, I assure you, I am on the same planet as you, and yes, as far as I am concerned, birth control IS a woman’s issue. When men can get pregnant, then it will be up to them as well.
[/QUOTE]
Wow! Glad to know men don’t have to worry at all about unplanned pregnancies, since it’s entirely up to the woman, with the added bonus that apparently men don’t have to worry about sexually transmitted diseases!
Gentlemen, put down those condoms! There’s no need!
[QUOTE=Not a Well Woman]
Vevila, I assure you, I am on the same planet as you, and yes, as far as I am concerned, birth control IS a woman’s issue. When men can get pregnant, then it will be up to them as well.
[/QUOTE]
Funny, I am a man and I never wanted to misjudge a woman I was dating and end up a father un-expectantly. In fact for the first 5 years of my marriage, I used a condom far more than any method used by my wife as neither of us liked the idea of using medications for mere convenience and a condom is simpler than a diaphragm. (damn it, we did both like sponges, it was terrible when they disappeared)