Hey, on the bright side, you never had to worry about being “sponge-worthy.” 
(Seinfeld joke, right?)
Yup.
That’s almost word-for-word the vibe I’m getting from this thread, too.
Me and my brother own a lot of rental units (I have nothing to do with the day-to-day management of the rental business), our standard leases all have rent due on the first but there is a five day grace period.
IMO both with other owner’s leases and back when I rented as well, most land lords have no problem with someone being a few days late with rent–to the point that it’s even fairly standard in many leases to have rent payable on X day with no penalties assessed as long as you pay it on by X+5 days later.
In general, a lot of people who are in the position of being owed money by a lot of people don’t go crazy over the money being a few days late. I’ve had all my utilities on direct withdrawal from my bank account for about 10 years now, so they’re never late, but before that I’d sometimes forget to pay my water/gas/electric/cable/etc bill, typically I’d get a notice in the mail about it. I think the cable company used to assess a $2.00 fee for late payment but the rest of the utility companies didn’t even assess a fee as long as you sent in a payment a within a few days of the first warning notice.
While it is not appropriate for her to call him up and abuse him, it is appropriate for her–or the courts–to take action when he does not make a payment by the required date. She may be an awful person, an irresponsible citizen, and a rotten ex-daughter-in-law, but those child payments are due when the court says they are. Period. Her being mean or abusive doesn’t erase the lateness. Neither do his good intentions, as far as the law is concerned.
If it’s all timing, as you claim, then this is easily solved if you can help with one month’s payment. All you’d have to do is give him the money to pay for November’s payment, on time. Then, when his income flow allows it, he should take what would have been the November payment from his own $$ and bank it. In December, on the day the December payment is due, it will be there. He can pay it, and then take what would have been December’s payment and bank it for January. And so on and so on. Thus, instead of being perpetually a day or two behind that custody payment, the money’s available 28 or so days ahead of time. No more abuse, no more penalties, no more black marks against his support record. Hopefully in a good month or series of months he could pay you back.
Alternatively, could he petition to the get the payment due date set back a few days? Just change the data altogether? I have no idea the flexibility in your state (or whether his ex-wife could manage with payments coming later).
So, the OP has a stupid son, a stupid ex DIL, and stupid ideas about birth control.
It’s kind of a perfect fambly unit.
Ever not paid a parking ticket? Even courts don’t take it too seriously if you miss payment by a day or two (hell, they won’t even usually take any major actions until you’ve gotten multiple warnings about an unpaid parking ticket.) So if the OP’s son is legitimately just sometimes missing payment by a day or two because of cash flow issues relating to his line of work, I don’t see it as a big deal.
A great many organizations that are owed money on X date (even courts and municipalities) tend to not go apeshit and threaten legal action if you pay soon after said date.
And your ex-daughter-in-law is the stupid one? Wow. I hope your son has learned his lesson from this situation, or else he’s probably going to be paying child support for a long, long time. I also hope you realize you didn’t do your boy or his “stupid” ex-wife any favors by encouraging this attitude.
Martin, I personally have gotten an eviction notice when my rent was 24 hours late (that really wasn’t my fault - the cheque bounced because my bank account had been stolen). Things are due when they’re due. Any leeway given is absolutely at the discretion of the party owed the money, and dependent on their good nature. Ex-dil wants her money the day it’s due; I can’t fault her for that. I too want to get paid on the day my paycheque is due, not a couple of days later or when my employer gets around to it.
If the money is due on the first of the month, then that’s when she should receive it. If he paid on time, she’d have no reason to call him and scream at him. She’s raising his child and she needs the money to feed/clothe/house that child.
BTW, if you’re standing there, I assume your son is living with you. Why?
We can’t control anonymous people on the internet who do stupid things. You, on the other hand, CAN do something:
#1- you can encourage your son to live up to his responsibility and quit infantizing him. He’s late with his payments but he’s a good boy. Yeah, whatever. Tell him to get his act together and pay his child support on time.
#2 - instead of demonizing this woman, build a relationship with her. *Support * her. Why? BECAUSE SHE’S THE MOTHER OF YOUR GRANDCHILD. My brother got a girl pregnant during a one-night stand. She was clearly a loser, but we supported her the best we could. Fast forward three years later and she’s pregnant again by another man. My brother and his new wife offered to raise his child. Guess what? She agreed. And now my niece is in college doing very well. You need to be there for your grandchild. That means you have to have a relationship with this stupid woman. As you say, today’s neglected kid grows up to be no good. If your son won’t step up and ensure that his child is on the right path, then it’s up to you.
And if all you can do is sit there and talk shit about the mother, then it will be partly your fault if the child turns out to be “no good”.
Ding ding ding.
I suppose it’s easier to attack the girl as a stupid welfare slut who can’t keep her legs closed rather than accepting the fact that it was your dumb son who decided to fuck her without taking the necessary precautions. Further, she is completely within her rights to take him to court when he doesn’t pay his child support by the legally mandated day.
If she’s such a horrible person that he feels he’s being robbed by and his child is being treated poorly, perhaps he should step up and attempt to get custody of the child. If he can’t be bothered with that, then the lease he can do is pay his child support on time. While I understand if someone owns their own business, sometimes checks don’t come through, I think part of being a responsible adult (particularly a parent) is having some money set aside to pay any necessary bills. Child support is one of those bills.
Wait. So the OP’s son is supposed to be smart enough and responsible enough to be able to pay his bills even though there’s a good possibility he won’t get paid on the first.
The OP’s ex daughter-in-law is allowed to be an irresponsible moron who will get evicted and her kids will starve to death if she doesn’t get paid right on the first?
Am I reading this right? The father must be responsible. The mother is incapable of being responsible. Why does she have custody, again?
Listen…In a perfect world, birth control is both of their responsibilities, but I just do not feel that this is a realistic concept (pardon the pun).
I appreciate your feedback, but there is way too much assumption here. No-one has ever had a problem with the rent, insurance and etc. I am just afraid that now there will be. Whatever.
I came,
I ranted,
And now I have to go cook a chicken.
I do wonder, though, if that is the case why he hasn’t brought it up to the court and scheduled to make the monthly payments on a more convenient day? If for whatever reason the 1st is mandatory, perhaps he should adjust his monthly spending to compensate, so he can have the cash ready on the first even if his business dealings don’t go through until the third.
Aaaaaand, why not?
Actually, in this situation, it’s the only realistic or practical concept.
If you tell your son to leave it all up to the woman he’s seeing, she can easily get pregnant. If he takes precautions, there’s a reasonable chance that if she doesn’t use anything (forgets, wants to get pregnant, is a stupid welfare slut :rolleyes:), then he’s safe.
Isn’t leaving it all up to the woman an unrealistic or overly idealistic thing, in this case?
I think more of them would, if they had the money to pay the lawyer.
[deleted a bunch of shit about my daughter’s boyfriend, who’s paying $800 a month child support to a woman who only sees the child on weekends because the child’s being raised by a babysitter, but who can’t petition for custody because he’s too broke from paying support to pay a lawyer]
Because condoms make it impossible for guys to enjoy sex or even get it up. They get BLUE BALLS. Can you IMAGINE? :eek: I mean, that’s what my boyfriend told me when we were 16 and I can’t possibly see why he’d have any reason to lie to me.