Rant Number One:
Tell me again which of the Ten Commandments is that says: Thou Shalt Deface Property in My Name, because I forget, but evidently there must be one since someone felt compelled to spray paint Jesus Loves You on a fucking overpass! Hey, butt munch, did it ever occur to you that doing so might just piss a lot of people off. Why? Well, for starters, my tax dollars are going to be spent cleaning that shit up. I’d like to thank you for that. So, instead of my hard earned money going for things like educational supplies, or to help the homeless, or people in dire straights, its going to be spent repainting the god damn overpass thanks to you. I’m sure Jesus would be proud.
And what the fuck is it with all you “Christians” who think that you’re commanded by God to do this kind of shit? You don’t see Jews spray painting “YWH” inside a Star of David all over the place. You don’t see Muslim graffitti that reads, “Submit to Allah.” Buddhists don’t feel compelled to write, “Keep fucking up like you’re doing now and you’ll come back as a lab rat!” everywhere. And can you imagine the shit storm that would happen if someone were to even think about writing, “Madelyn Murray O’Hare died for your sins.” on an overpass? You can bet that you or another member of “Assholes for Christ” would be frothing at the mouth on TV screaming about how this country’s going to hell in a handbasket, while one of your buddies wired the overpass with explosives so that the children would be protected from seeing Satan’s work.
Look, assholes, I don’t bother you with my religious beliefs, so don’t bother me with yours, okay?
Rant Number Two
To my supervisor: Yes, I did call in sick today. No, I really wasn’t sick, and no, I really don’t give a shit that its going to cause me to be on a written warning. Why? Because this is the most mind-numbingly boring job I’ve ever had in my life and I really don’t care if I lose it or not. Just let me sign the damn paperwork and leave me the fuck alone! I know you love the job, and I know that you’re willing to suck the boss’s cock because of how happy you are to have this job. I am not. Deal with it. (And yes, I AM looking for another job.)
Rant Number Three
To the folks at Zoom Modems. Your product sucks dino dicks! My last PC was a Compaq, and the fucking modem wouldn’t work because of their screwball drivers that they forgot to include on the Quick Restore CDs, but you know what? Once I got the drivers, the damn modem worked better than the POS (Piece Of Shit) USB modem of yours that I just bought. Half the fucking time you drop the connection for no reason other than the fact that you’re stupid! I’ve had to switch ISPs since you don’t work with my previous ISPs and you’re rapidly developing the inability to connect with my current ISP. Thanks a fucking lot. As soon as I can afford to, I’m switching to cable!