My Three Rants

The BBQ Pit
#1

Rant Number One:
Tell me again which of the Ten Commandments is that says: Thou Shalt Deface Property in My Name, because I forget, but evidently there must be one since someone felt compelled to spray paint Jesus Loves You on a fucking overpass! Hey, butt munch, did it ever occur to you that doing so might just piss a lot of people off. Why? Well, for starters, my tax dollars are going to be spent cleaning that shit up. I’d like to thank you for that. So, instead of my hard earned money going for things like educational supplies, or to help the homeless, or people in dire straights, its going to be spent repainting the god damn overpass thanks to you. I’m sure Jesus would be proud.

And what the fuck is it with all you “Christians” who think that you’re commanded by God to do this kind of shit? You don’t see Jews spray painting “YWH” inside a Star of David all over the place. You don’t see Muslim graffitti that reads, “Submit to Allah.” Buddhists don’t feel compelled to write, “Keep fucking up like you’re doing now and you’ll come back as a lab rat!” everywhere. And can you imagine the shit storm that would happen if someone were to even think about writing, “Madelyn Murray O’Hare died for your sins.” on an overpass? You can bet that you or another member of “Assholes for Christ” would be frothing at the mouth on TV screaming about how this country’s going to hell in a handbasket, while one of your buddies wired the overpass with explosives so that the children would be protected from seeing Satan’s work.

Look, assholes, I don’t bother you with my religious beliefs, so don’t bother me with yours, okay?

Rant Number Two
To my supervisor: Yes, I did call in sick today. No, I really wasn’t sick, and no, I really don’t give a shit that its going to cause me to be on a written warning. Why? Because this is the most mind-numbingly boring job I’ve ever had in my life and I really don’t care if I lose it or not. Just let me sign the damn paperwork and leave me the fuck alone! I know you love the job, and I know that you’re willing to suck the boss’s cock because of how happy you are to have this job. I am not. Deal with it. (And yes, I AM looking for another job.)

Rant Number Three
To the folks at Zoom Modems. Your product sucks dino dicks! My last PC was a Compaq, and the fucking modem wouldn’t work because of their screwball drivers that they forgot to include on the Quick Restore CDs, but you know what? Once I got the drivers, the damn modem worked better than the POS (Piece Of Shit) USB modem of yours that I just bought. Half the fucking time you drop the connection for no reason other than the fact that you’re stupid! I’ve had to switch ISPs since you don’t work with my previous ISPs and you’re rapidly developing the inability to connect with my current ISP. Thanks a fucking lot. As soon as I can afford to, I’m switching to cable!

#2

Well, gee, Tucker, it always works in the Reader’s Digest. The high-powered executive in his expensive car takes shelter under an overpass during a tornado, in which he nearly dies, and just as he’s getting ready to thank Whatever Powers May Be for his survival, he looks up and sees–

JESUS LOVES YOU!

And it’s like a SIGN, see? From God, see? And then he Gets Saved, see? And then his business picks up, and his wife comes back to him, and she gets pregnant after all, and they have a healthy baby boy, and it’s all because somebody painted “Jesus Loves You” on the overpass.

And you would condemn that? Man, you must be sick. Don’t you want all the high-powered executives of the world to Get Saved?

:smiley:

And think about it–when was the last time you read a Reader’s Digest article about some high-powered executive looking up and seeing THERE IS NO GOD BUT ALLAH! painted on an overpass, and suddenly starting to Believe In Allah, and then having his business pick up and his wife come back to him and them having a baby boy and living happily ever after?

Never, right? It’s because the God of the Reader’s Digest is a Christian God, see? Let the Muslims get their own magazine…

:smiley:

#3

Is it the grafitti that pisses you off more, or the message that they grafitti “artist” wrote? Because if it were me, I’d be more pissed off by the grafitti. Would you be equally pissed off (and would you have started this rant) had the grafitti said “Bob Loves Mary”?

We all see expressions of belief - on people’s cars, on their t-shirts, and on signs. We must cope. But that doesn’t mean that they aren’t irritating at times, I understand.

There’s another thread going on right now about some asshole vandalizing the OP’s car, because the OP had a “Darwin” fish on it. Well, the “Darwin” fish also express a belief - (or an attitude - whatever). It was completely inappropraite for the vandal to TOUCH the OP’s car, but I suppose they thought they were doing it because they didn’t like seeing someone else express their religious (or lack thereof) beliefs on their car.

#4

You should have saved that for a GD thread. :wink:

#5

yosemitebabe, its a combination of both, really. One, because they thought that it was a good idea to take a can of spray paint and write something on a public bridge. (Mind you, I do have to admit that if it were something that had artistic merit, such an exact reproduction of a painting of Jesus, I’d be a little less pissed off about the thing because at least it’d be art. [Yeah, yeah, don’t get me started on that whole “What constitutes art?” debate.] Two, because it really ignores Christ’s message about having respect for your fellow man. I just can’t imagine a God/Goddess who’d be happy about someone spray painting His name on other people’s property, can you?

#6

You know, now that I think about it, someone ought to do a Jack Chick parody with that as the theme. They should also have a camera ready to capture Chick’s reaction when he sees it! :smiley:

#7

yosemitebabe, it’s the combination of the two that would annoy me the most. The feeling that the vandals thought that by “spreading the word”, they were actually doing a good deed by defacing public property. And as Tuckerfan said, it demonstrates a kinda warped understanding of Christ’s teachings.

#8

Heh, eat my sig… :wink: