Years ago, I had gone to the beach, and come back with a terrible sunburn. After it subsided, maybe a week later, I was checking it out, and looked in the mirror over my right shoulder. “HOLY CRAP! MY TATTOO PEELED OFF!”
Nope. It was on my left shoulder, where it had always been.
Check with Donald Eugene Ivins. I’ve heard he has been looking for a replacement.
On more than one occasion while the car is stopped at a red light, I’ve put my hand into my coat pocket and felt a moment of surprised panic. It’s empty! What have I done with my keys?
The keys are, obviously, in the lock on the car’s steering column, where they need to be to make the car go.
I left two fivers in the self-checker once. I very rarely get cash back but needed some that day and just spaced out between the request and bagging the groceries. I was really disappointed when at the next stop I thought, I’ll just pull out one of those Abes, and they weren’t there.
Last week I had the opposite problem. When I got a smart phone too big to easily go into a pocket, I got a small man-purse to keep it and my Kindle in, then I added an S carabiner on a D-ring to keep the keys on. My hands were getting too crunked up to fish them out of a pocket easily. I went on a road trip some 800-miles to the Bay Area and picked up a nail somewhere along the way causing a slow leak. I noticed it about 5pm, inflated the tire and drove to Pep Boys for repair/replacement. Unfortunately even though they were open three more hours, all the service slots were filled; I would have to leave the car for tomorrow morning.
My friends and I went out for dinner and a movie and all evening I would go, Oh, my God! My keys are missing! — Oh. A very unpleasant feeling when you’re far from home.
My mom has you all beat.
My little sister was a quiet, placid baby. So one day my mom went to get her up from her nap - and she wasn’t there! Her crib was empty! A thrill of panic ran through her. She ran through the house, checking every room, over and over. Finally she decided to call the police, so she went to the phone, shifted the baby to her other arm, and picked up the receiver-
I use a cell phone case wallet, so one day I’ll lose ALL of my stuff at once.
I’ve done the traditional “I can’t find my glasses!!!”… “Oh, I’m wearing them” thing a time or two since I had my cataract surgery.
For years before that, I had two pairs: one distance-only, for driving (they lived in the car), and one room/computer progressives (that I used for everything else). So I’d swap them when I got into or out of the car. Every now and then I’d forget, but my wildly-wrong-for-the task vision clued me in pretty quickly.
After 7+ months of NOT needing the driving glasses, I still try to swap them when I get into or out of the car. I’m gonna poke my eye out one of these days.
The only things I haven’t lost so far are my bodily appendages, because they are rather difficult to leave behind. Otherwise I have lost umbrellas, wallets, phones, lunchboxes, you name it. But to help people like us, technology comes to the rescue. Just buy a Tile or Cube and slip it into your wallet. When you are missing your wallet, trigger the ‘wallet tile’ using your phone. It emits an ear-splitting scream, letting you locate it. If you can’t locate your phone, keep another tile in your pocket and let it trigger your phone.
What, you can’t find your pocket now? 
Today I reached to the dish rack to grab my dinner plate ready for my sandwich and it wasn’t there. I was just about to curse my housemate for using it when he knows it’s reserved as mine when I saw that it was already on the kitchen bench, just where I had put it seconds earlier.
I’m going to be 50 in a couple of months. It’s all downhill from here.
My current wallet is attached to a bungee keychain, and I attach that to my jeans - feasible only because I work from home and wear the jeans multiple days in a row. A similar solution would work for that pocket Tile - but I imagine that will lead to the thing getting washed somewhat regularly. Or you could attach that Tile via a looooong stretchy bungee to something stationary and solid in the middle of the house, so you’d never detach it as you wander forlornly around, trying to find your phone.
My husband bought me a Pebblebee - similar concept to the Tile, but with a replaceable battery - to attach to my Kindle case. It was hideously unreliable, as in would fail to register when 6 inches way from the phone. Hopefully the Tile is more reliable.
Part of the reason we keep a land line phone in our house is so that we have something to use to call our cell phones when we misplace them 
Neither this, nor the Tile, is useful if the phone’s battery has died, of course.