Shrug
Why do the kids “belong” at home any more than they belong in a restaurant? Why is one angry parent preferable to another?
I’m not trying to give you a hard time, I’m genuinely baffled here.
How were you communicating? ‘Confronted’ is a pretty big word here.
I suggest a book on communication, or something like “I’m OK, You’re OK”. Seems that it might be the style of communication.
Well, my mum used to yell at me at such insignificant stuff (which are, of course, significant to her). One day I told her to stop yelling at me. She said, “This is my house; you don’t like the way I am, move out!”. So I did.
(Landed property here is expensive; no one can have an apartment from the local housing project until he’s married or of age 30).
I think you’re reading an awful lot into it. Or maybe I’m not reading enough into it. I saw it purely as “Okay, I’m not in the mood to deal with this, everybody into the car.” You’re seeing it as “Kids, get in the car, away from big scary daddy.”
It’s entirely possible that both of us are projecting. But it appears to me that while we don’t know what *her * frame of mind was, we do know that *he * got on the internet and called his wife, the mother of his children, a bitch, an idiot, and a cunt.
I’m genuinely baffled and the genuine bafflement around here. You and Eva Luna are all “what’s the big deal about taking your kids to dinner” and you seem completely incognizant of the fact the parents just had a fight, mom packed the kids in the car and left.
Shagnasty has it exactly right.
Look, my parents are divorced. They sued each other for years afterward over stupid shit, too. I’ve been there.
I still don’t see what the big deal is. Maybe his wife thought the kids might like going out to eat. Maybe she thinks she’s better at containing her anger than he is, so as to expose the kids to a minimum of visible anger. I don’t know. But taking the kids out for a burger is a far sight from shouting “I’m leaving you for good!” and driving away with the kids and all their belongings.
Man, came late to this thread, and I’m sure many of my “family” posts sound as fucked up as this one. In my marraige - and I suspect most relationships - you don’t get to pick what miniscule little things you do drive your partner nuts, nor are you able to eradicate every single thing your partner does that causes you some inconvenience/discomfort.
Heck, it seems like my wife and I fight about stupid little stuff way more than about big things. But when I think about it I realize the emotions are not about the stupid little thing that set off the argument, but much larger underlying feelings/dynamics. Reconciling - or even identifying - those underlying differences can be a lot harder than tossing out some wilted veggies and putting on a new roll of TP.
I do think, however, that common courtesy behooves the originator of a thread to at least check in and say they didn’t take their family out in a murder/suicide. Just a simple, “We’re working it out. I don’t intend to post in this thread anymore. Thankd for your input.” would be sufficient. Has anyone done a search to see if Leaffan posted anywhere else since his last post here?
I really don’t blame him if he doesn’t come back. He basically was called everything from an asshole to a child abuser just for venting his feelings, even after he admitted he needed to feel safe to put his true feelings down.
Sorry, but that’s what journals (the old-fashioned paper kind, not Live ones) are for. I don’t know Leaffan from Adam. He might be the best guy in the world. But I do know he called his wife–the woman he vowed to love and cherish above all others–a bitch and a cunt in front of 78,000 strangers. That’s an asshole move in my book.
Exactly.
He hasn’t.
Me, too. I can also understand that she doesn’t want to leave them with a man who freaks out over changing the TP roll and cleaning out the fridge on a repeated basis. If she can’t do anything right by him, what makes you think his kids can?
I think my wife and I only fight over things that small when bigger things are really bothering us. I never do laundry, she leaves things out all the time that should be refrigerated or sealed, she very rarely mows the lawn, I very rarely do dishes, etc etc. Neither of us ever really comment on it. If we both do what we don’t mind doing, pretty much everything gets done and we’re happy.
What is this ‘‘paper journal’’ you speak of? 
Next you’ll be telling me about nonsense like records and rotary phones.
I just sort of feel bad for the guy. I don’t know his story or his issues, but it’s pretty obvious he’s hurting over this. This board actually functions quite well as a loving and supportive community in isolated circumstances. It’s a beautiful thing, and a shame it can’t happen more often. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to suggest people who are obviously hurting be treated a little more kindly. This isn’t the Pit, after all.
It struck me as a big deal because Leaffan had already started making dinner. Food was already being prepared. Taking the kids out was leaving Dad at home with a wasted dinner for four. To me, this seemed like a real “screw you” gesture.
What are you talking about?
Hell no. Turning things around on the OP is the single most popular game played on these message boards. You have to give the people what they want.
Tamex is talking about the guy who had earlier posted this.
Then, in the OP, recounted flying off the handle at his wife’s failure to clean the refrigerator & change the TP. How loud was he then? Remember that he referred to her as “bitch” “cunt” & “idiot” here. Can we be sure he never yelled those words in front of the kids?
I don’t blame her for leaving & taking the kids–for dinner or whatever. He came here asking for Help. Most of us have recommended Professional Help: Counselors, Psychiatrists and/or Divorce Lawyers.
Wasted dinner for four? He had started the potatoes. Is there nothing that can be done with leftover potatoes?
Besides, if I came home after a nice relaxing day and my spouse started yelling at me over stupid shit like who had left the veggies in the wrong spot in the fridge, I’d be inclined to get up and leave, too - with the kids. Why should they be exposed to a role model like that any more than necessary?
If I had kids, I sure wouldn’t want them thinking of that level of anger over something that inconsequential as an acceptable norm in what is supposed to be a loving relationship. Even on the very little info we have to go on here, Leaffan appears to have some anger issues, and I wouldn’t want to expose my kids to that any more than necessary.
Did anyone actually read the OP? This is like the 40th post that accuses him of “yelling” and a “level of anger” over vegetables and TP.
Again, did anyone actually read the entire post?
Where did he recount such a thing?