So what actually happened was Remy didn’t put your wife in the hospital. Your wife tripped. 
I’d be willing to bet Remy is redeemable.
But, I 100% understand if the OP does not have the skill and/or time to fix the dog. Really…it is no small task and has an uncertain outcome. This is not a dig on the OP…most people cannot manage such a thing (I am almost certain I couldn’t despite being a huge dog lover).
I’d try to see if there was any shelter/doggie rehab that would be willing to take her in. Be crystal clear about the dog’s behavioral issues with whoever might be interested in taking Remy in. Document those conversations (just in case…and let them know you are documenting it). Anyone on the up-and-up will not care.
I guess there is a continuum of how much work the OP (read: anyone) will put into saving the dog. There is a time commitment and monetary commitment that is doable/tolerable but that point is different for everyone. The OP’s breaking point may well be different than mine. And that’s fine and understandable. Since the OP posted here it seems they want a better outcome than a .22 to Remy’s head. Hopefully they can find one.
That’s a very safe bet. I met a veterinarian (Dr Karen Overall) who took a dog that a couple of trainers had given up on. After six months of intense work, the dog was great, with her.
She had the dog as her pet/project to show what behavior modification could do.
Most people cannot devout a six month block of their life to a project dog.
And how did the dog treat anyone else it encountered? Did she prove a point to herself while continuing to own a menace to her neighborhood?
Not meant as a gotcha question; I’m genuinely curious what “great for one person” means in the real world.
She never took the dog out of her home without it being on a gentle leader head collar.
There was no menace to the neighborhood. When she left her house with the dog at home, it was crated with a framed warning on top of the crate, in case the police entered her home.
I interacted with her and the dog and did not feel at risk at any time. Now, if someone broke into her house at night while she was asleep, the person would be killed unless they could kill the dog first.
Dog trainer here
It’s never a good idea to hit a dog or any animal about the head, even a little swat, just as with humans, it is often taken as being antagonistic. It can cause animals to become head or hand shy and could be part of why she won’t let you leash her.
If needed it’s better to get their attention with a sharp “at!” followed up with a calm but firm command in a normal tone. It’s best for your dog to only associate your hands with good things praise, petting, grooming etc. This is especially true of anxious or fearful dogs.
100%. Not a dog trainer myself but have had dogs my entire life.
Our two rescues that we have now where sort of out of control. Of course ‘sit’ and ‘come’ is easy stuff. I did not have the discipline for myself to train them properly though. It really takes time.
Once when my Wife was walking them 4 lost snowboarders came out of the trees and the 2 dogs went crazy. They where protecting my Wife. They did not bite any one, but basically herded them, barking at them scaring the shit out of these guys.
My Wife could not control the dogs. Together, they outweigh her.
Time for the professionals.
It was quite expensive, and the dogs are not perfect, but much, much better. At this place you can bring them back for the life of the dog for a refresher course. They also train YOU the dog owner.
It’s often the dog owner that needs to be trained.
If she has experienced abuse in the past this probably won’t work (and it might sound a little crazy), but have you tried accepting the dog into your “pack” in a way that she would understand?
Wait until the dog is about to fall asleep and then lay down next to her, facing her. It must be you and not your wife because she already knows you are the lead dog/alpha. She should know you are there. Stay still and as she starts to fall asleep put your hand on her side/back and leave it there. If she allows this leave it there for a few minutes and then try laying your head on her side/back. If she allows this leave it there and stay that way for 10-15 minutes. You’re now part of the same pack.
If while this is happening she tries to put her paw/head on top of you, be gentle but don’t let her. You are in charge, not her. If she’s sleepy enough she should give up and let you be “on top.”
This sounds like a great way to get bitten in the face.
Stranger
Yeah, I don’t think I’d want to be putting my face anywhere near this dog.
My experience is mostly with cats and horses, but would avoiding eye contact be helpful at all? With cats and horses, it’s seen as confrontational, so maybe that would help in the short-term.
As a shelter volunteer, please don’t take her to the shelter even with full disclosure. The immense amount of resources this dog would take means that more adoptable dogs may not get a chance.
To me this is the punchline of every problem pet story. Somebody can dump vast resources into this one or save another dozen or two using the same resources. It’s not like there’s a shortage of dogs in need; how about we prioritize our efforts on the most promising rather than the least?
Yep!
For sure! Best thing for OP to do is completely ignore the dog for now.
I’m very curious as to the circumstances surrounding her “coming at you”. Most aggression in dogs is fear based.
You need to consult with a good trainer/behaviorist that can observe the dog and interactions between you and the dog. This is not the sort of thing that can be sorted out with online tips and tricks.
The video is specifically addressing a question about a Belgian Malinois (a breed nobody should get unless they need and know how to train a guard/herding dog) but the advice about getting a certified professional trainer is completely on point for anyone dealing with an aggressive dog. Trying to follow guidance from well-meaning random yahoos on the Internet who don’t know your animal, don’t know your temperament or household, and don’t have any stake in the outcome is unlikely to be of any real use and is likely to get you injured even if the dog is tractable (i.e. the guidance above about laying down facing a sleeping dog).
Stranger
It never ceases to amaze me how people get puppies and don’t train them when they’re young and malleable. Kosh is going to be four this summer and I still work with him often–we’re working on his barkiness a lot now and he’s learning to use other methods to get his excitement under control, like grabbing a toy and coming to me for a few minutes of tug of war or toss and catch to divert him off his fixation at whatever he’s getting barky at. We go on socialization walks to challenging places, like Home Depot and Petsmart and the vet so he knows how to comport himself in the face of nearly overwhelming stimuli. He goes with me on errands so he can get used to the idea that sometimes he stays in the car and sometimes he can go out. We work around the neighborhood cats so he doesn’t chase them even if they run. He’s a herding dog with a low threshold of excitability and he’s overwhelmingly confident so he needs someone to ride herd on him and teach him better ways to handle his impulses. That’s what Kosh needs and that’s what he gets. Shoga is biddable and a bit timid so she doesn’t get put into as many overstimulating situations as Kosh does because I don’t want her to be more anxious than she already is. Every dog is different but they all need instruction and a good foundation to learn to be successful dogs. It can be difficult if you get the dog past the puppy stage but a good dog owner is training their dog right up until the day they die. That’s part of the bargain.
Another vote for looking for a good dog trainer. It’s often largely about training the owner, but a good trainer will work with both of you. My sister has adopted several abused dogs with behavioral problems, and training can work wonders.
I got a 8lb puppy, smaller than most of my cats at the time-- but a Pit Bull/German Shepherd cross. I knew this was going to be a big dog. From day 1– HOUR 1-- we worked on not jumping on people.
She was pretty hyper when she was young, but by the time she was a year, the training had sunk in (and I did take her to classes with a professional, who was a retired K9 officer handler). When she wanted attention, she came and sat at my feet and looked up to make eye contact. In fact, she did this with any human, including children, and she was 80lbs fully grown. People were confused by her-- they’d never seen a dog be so well-behaved. I’d have to say she wasn’t begging for treats, just pets.
She was in the slow group at obedience training when she was six months, but by the time she was 18 months, she had a lie-down stay that was amazing-- I could walk away with my back to her, dangling her favorite toy, and she would not get up until she heard “OK!” I could get out of her sight, and she still would not get up. She shook paws, rolled over-- did lots of stuff. She also heeled off-leash, knew left and right, and looked both ways at a street.
My point is, we worked on all that from the beginning, and it was months and months before I saw anything but “sit.” She was processing, though.
She could have passed the AKC canine good citizen test, if she hadn’t had unusual separation anxiety (and when she was young, a little too much eagerness to play with other dogs). So I never tried, but she checked every other box.