Turd Ferguson. It’s a funny name.
Even better, Sam Francisco.
or Cecil Adams 
Guido the pimp
First Middle Last
Haiku Beginning
Name Witheld
I can’t stop.
Above The Law
Park Driveway
Whisper Diaphonous
Juan Sánchez Villalobos Ramírez
James James Morrison Morrison Weatherby George Dupree (if you are the sort to take great care of your mother)
Eddie Cootchie Catchy Kama Tosa Neera Tosa Noka Sama Kama Wacky-Brown (but you must avoid wells)
That’s Guido the Killer Pimp to you, gatorman.
I’d actually consider C M Frost just to get that sweet “member since” date on the AmEx.
Bob Vader.
Timmy Von Doom.
Vlad Smith.
Dr. Cyclops.
Bond. James Bond.
Yingeebert Dangleban
Zanglebert Dingleback
Winglebert Humptiback
Slut Bunwallah
Kringlebert Fishtibuns
Steveibuns Buttrentrunden
Zinglebert Bambledack
Dinglebert Wangledack
Klingibum Fistlbars
Dinglebert Zambeldack
Englerbert Humptiback
Engelbert Humperdinck
Dinglebert Wingledank
or
Jerry Dorsey
Max Headroom
John Hodge Opera House Centennial Gargling Oil Samuel J Tilden Ten Broeck.
Slate Stern
How about a first and last name that don’t sound like they belong together? Like Jorge Ng, or Tyrone Rosenberg? Or, now’s your chance to take a lesson from Prince, and choose an unpronouncable symbol as a name.
Ivor Biggun
Joey Jo-Jo Junior Shabadoo
Crap Nelson = no
John smith = Too unoriginal. not a bad sounding name though.
John Jackson= same as above
Jack Johnson= same as above
John Q Citizen = sounds good.
lol @ rock hard . Maybe a little too risque?
Quiddity Glomfuster = no way in hell. This is my real name we’re talking about.
Snookeypoo Cuddleums III. = original but no. same reason as above.
Steen Zonald Dingus! = same.
Gozer the Gozerian = same
Gozer The Destructor= same
Linus Fartwhistle = same
Big McLargeHuge = same
Pibgorn Kaput = same
Guido the pimp = same
Volguus Zildrohar, the Traveller. = great name but no.
evelyn = girl’s name. I’m a man. nope.
the dude = too weird.(not a bad idea though)
Raymond Luxury-Yacht. = too presumptuous
lol @ hugh jass. Don’t want people calling me that though.
Turd Ferguson = don’t want my name to be turd, thx very much.
sam francisco = sounds pretty good.
Cecil Adams = hahaha. I’m not worthy of that name…yet!
First Middle Last = hahaha. Good one but no.
Haiku Beginning = hmm. not bad but no
Name Witheld = great name but no
Above The Law = they wouldn’t let me have it 
Park Driveway = hahaha. Funny but not for long.
Whisper Diaphonous = naah.
Buck Daft = not bad but i never liked the name “buck”
Rock Hunter = sounds pretty good.
Michael Hunt = reminds me of ethan hunt which reminds me of Tom Cruise. no good.
So far, Sam Francisco, John Q citizen and Rock Hunter are in the lead.
Everybody’s got some really great names and don’t get me wrong. I like funny. But Some of those names would stop being funny 5 years later. I’m in it for the long haul.
John Jacob Jingleheimer Smith
[sub]His name is my name t-… oh, wait, no it’s not. sorry.[/sub]
Tikki tikki tembo-no sa rembo-chari bari ruchi-pip peri pembo. Or if you prefer, Chang.
Sam Jacob Hunter (figured I should put at least one real offer in)
Caesar Polanco.
Jack Toledo.
Roy Al Dalton