Sure beats Keisteritis.
Lieu.
lno.
Rubes.
I nominate World Eater. I enjoy his commentary. 
I thought you were nominating “Smartass Smiley” 
I’d like to thank the academy for my nomination …
I, too, have to say Eve is my hero. She can sling the zingers better than I can ever hope … And recently Hal Briston has been upping the competition, and of course harmless for starting this thread in the first place.
Let’s not forget EddyTeddyFreddy and all those wonderful “Predict the Death of the Previous Poster” posts.
How could I have been so selfish as to have ignored my fellow brats.
harmless is, of course, a smartass and a very good one at that. If Eve, Og forbid, relinquished her Doper throne then harmless would be soo in the running.
As for Hal though, he has a…different quality of smartassness. Sorta like monkeys on a typewriter. He’ll come out with absolute brilliance but sometimes, just sometimes, I do have to wonder about that man.
But then I wonder about myself like that. banana banana banana. The patio door is broken, please inform the manager.
Yeah, but you don’t have to live with him :rolleyes:
Is it too late to vote for…
the Grapist?
I’m sorry, but every time I saw that, I laughed.
Call me simple.
On the Internet, nobody knows you’re not a 67 year old securty guard whose day need brightening.
Can I call you “Simp” for short?
Today’s mid-day Smartass Update:
**Eve ** - 9
**harmless ** - 5
Hal Briston - 4? - if that was a nomination from tick 
lieu - 4
**Cervaise ** - 2
**Miller ** - 2
Wally - 1 :wally
SkipMagic - 1
Ponder Stibbons - 1
Nocturnal_Tick - 1
JuanitaTech - 1
No Clue Boy - 1
**Ethilrist ** - 1
**Mangetout ** - 1
lno - 1
Rubes - 1
World Eater - 1
EddyTeddyFreddy - 1
the Grapist - 1
I’m pretty sure that’s correct as of Happy Scrappy Hero Pup’s post.
Eve, were you aware you had such a reputation?
Cecil Adams - there can be only one
[minor hijack]
It’s much better to be a smartass than a dumbass!
[/minor hijack]
That’s it! (throws down mouse)
I’ve been too fing polite for these slagbaggers! :smack: I’m tired o’ being everybody’s kindly curmudgeon! It’s time to hoist my dudgeon to the highest yardarm. I’m too fing serious, nobody knows when I’m kidding. Ya think I’m kidding now? Flagsniffer.
I opened this thread just to see if I was going to get mentioned. I love it when my shallowness is rewarded like that.
However, I have to vote for Cervaise as smartest-assed Doper. I aspire to be like him in all ways, except for that weird thing he has about Paul Verhoeven.
No one’s mentioned biggirl yet? She’s a complete smartass, which is why I love her so.
Day in and day out, I’d pick Eve. Only Dorothy Parker comes close to her wit, and she’s dead so she doesn’t count.
Gotta second the biggirl nomination. Oh, and Shirley Ujest. too.
(and adding votes to the lieu and eve piles. Hmmm, maybe saying “lieu” and “piles” in the same sentence isn’t such a good idea.)
Eve, BigGirl, and lieu.
I’m having a hard time choosing.
Does that mean I have to take Wally off the list? 
I suppose it’s only fair to the rest of the nominees, since no one else could be expected to achieve such a pure state of smartassedness as to deserve their own smilie, :wally
[celestina waving her hands and jumpin up and down in the crowd of Dopers]
Hey! Over here. Yes. Me! I want to be recognized as a Doper smartass.