“burnishing the chia pet”
it’s kind of an inside joke, but I still like the phrase.
Guitar solo.
That’s funny. 
I was liked punishing Percy.
Um, why is in the pit exactly? 
Is someone mad that there aren’t enough names for masturbation? Are there member of the Simian Anti-Defamation League that don’t want to see any monkey"s spanked? Just curious.
I’ve always liked the phrase “pulling your pud”
Just following the lead from the thread about the different words for sex.
Oh. OK.
Rallying the troops.
Stroking the albino Python
Squeezing the cream filled donut