So the boy Scottie and the girl Scottie met and fell in love.
Well, not love exactly. More like lust. Sweaty, growling animal lust with spectators and pot roast and much embarrassment, but that’s not the point of the post. If it were, it would be called sweaty, growling animal lust and not Naming the Scottish Terriers. All of you who got all hot and bothered with the sweaty animal lust need to go take a cold shower. Perverts.
In any event, the dogs got freaky on the back porch of the house during a dinner we were having. My boss was there, as was his wife. It was a “get to know you” kind of dinner. Me and my wife, boss and his wife, a few beers, sitting around chatting while the pot roast finished cooking, and right in the middle of it all, William starts banging away, which was funny in and of itself since Pandora is bigger than William, and after he turned around his back feet didn’t touch the ground. Here’s this little black Scottish terrier trying to get his nut off while hanging by his dick. Funniest thing I’ve ever seen.
Everyone was terribly embarrassed except for me. I couldn’t stop laughing. Of course, I was the only one who had seen dogs mate before. My wife was horrified, and wanted us to separate the dogs, which you really can’t do. As far as I’ve ever known they’re attached until it’s all over, and I’m not going for the hose anyway. William has been trying to get laid for 5 years, but this little pee pee doesn’t work right so he’s had no luck. He lost his virginity while a bunch of embarrassed people laughed nervously and tried to ignore it.
Being a woman who ever takes the initiative, my wife ran into the house and sliced off a couple of pieces of pot roast. She proceeded to put one piece about 3 feet from Pandora, and the other piece 3 feet in front of William, theorizing that they would each disengage to get the food. End result: William got dragged around the porch hanging by his Yutz off the back of Pandora, who wound up eating both pieces of pot roast and still getting laid. I’d say she had a pretty good day for a dog. So did William, of course, but I’m sure he would have liked his share of the pot roast too. Nothing like a little pot roast after a booty call.
In the end William had his revenge, since Pandora got all fat and uncomfortable and had to lug around what amounted to 5 girls and 2 boys for a couple of months. Which brings us to the actual point of this post.
In order to single the mutts out and ensure that all are getting fed, watered, etc, we’ve decided to give them temporary names. Since they are all black, we certainly can’t say, “the black one isn’t eating” or “does the black one look funny to you?” Anyway, my first pair of dogs had 4 litters when I was a kid, and it became tradition to name them all before selling them. It is a point of honor that we never repeated any names.
My wife was forced to give me the honor of naming the little beasties, due to a lost wager over the eventual winner of the Stanley Cup, but I find myself with a problem. After naming the two boys I became stuck. Little Cecil and Slug are happy with their names, but their sisters are a little peeved. I named one Monkey Lips, but that was more out of spite than anything else. She peed on me.
So, we have 4 more names to choose, and it’s up to the Dopers to help out. None of the run of the mill stuff. No Lucys, no Blackies, no ridiculous crap like that. I’m talking cool names that make you want to say…well…COOL.
Have at it kids. By the way, anyone want a Scottish terrier? I’ll ship it UPS ground in a little box. It’s $5.00 extra to poke holes in the top, though.
Now you’ve already named the two boys, but I’ve got a suggestion for ya here. Since they are Scotties, my suggestion is to name em after clans. 
There are plenty of clan names, too, that would fit either sex, btw. Here is a website for ya: