About two years ago, I got into the habit of taking a two hour walk every day. I was doing really well, I was losing weight, and I was very proud of myself.
One day as I was crossing a busy street, a car full of teenage boys came by and one of them yelled, “hey fat ass!!”
It killed me. I kept walking to get away from the area because I was embarrassed, and once I got to stairway (West Seattle is full of “secret” stairways), I sat down and burst into tears. It shouldn’t have bothered me, I was doing well, I was making progress…but it didn’t matter, I was shattered.
A few minutes later, a woman came jogging up the stairs, and she stopped to ask me what was wrong. I was embarrassed to tell her what really happened, so I just said, “I’m just trying to lose weight and its really hard.” We often crossed paths when we were out walking/jogging, so we sort of knew each other.
She said, “You look so much better than you did a few months ago, you’re doing great!”
For every asshole there’s a sweatheart. That’s all I needed - I stopped crying and continued walking.
Given out by me: “You repulse me.” The girl was a stalker, and wasn’t getting why I wouldn’t leave the Sheckstress for some girl I had a class with 10 years earlier. Weird.
Received by me: “I can’t date someone that still has Star Wars sheets on his bed.” I was 15, and a huge nerd. And, to top it all off, she ended up sleeping with me about 4 years later. I made sure I had the star wars sheets back on the bed.
How hard would it have been for him to say, “Babe, you always look hot.” How hard would that have been?
We’d been married about two years, I was in the Army, just returned from three weeks in the field, the last 72 hours of which was constant maneuvering – I hadn’t slept in days or seen a shower in over a week. For reasons known only to her, my wife came to the barracks to meet me after stand-down and ride the bus home with me. We sat by ourselves at the back of the bus, then she promptly declared, “My God, I’ve never smelled anything as bad as you smell right now!” and got up and moved two seats away. Later, after I’d had a long shower and a couple of beers, she tried to convince me she’d been joking with me. I remained unconvinced for a couple of days.
The car-shouting thing makes me so mad. I’ve had stuff shouted at me from cars. It’s so stupid and I always wish vehemently I was Carrie and could make them skid careening off the road and crash. :mad: I had someone lean all the way out of the car shouting “YOU’RE UGLY!” I hoped he fell out of the car. I can’t tell you how much I hate these assholes.
The cruelest thing the opposite sex ever said is easy. This is a sort of sex story, so be aware.
One of the men whom I dated for a very very short time was a premature ejaculator. I was very young and naive and didn’t know any better how to handle it, but I tried to do my best - I tried to make it seem like it was no big deal, etc.
He reacted by lying about it, claiming he’d gone soft. He told me “It’s not my fault you don’t turn me on enough to get an erection.” In my state at that time my self-confidence was depressingly low, and he made me cry.
I’d be mad but after all, he did have his problem.
Maybe because it’s an undeserved and inappropriate expression of raw hate and deprecation? Feeling hurt is a normal response to that, why overanalyze it? (unless of course you’re having a hard time letting it go, or unless you feel like it really did have something to do with you as an individual, or for some weird reason you feel like you deserved it).
There are definitely people who’ll date half-assed (usually those who can’t bear to be alone) and those of us who aren’t actively pursuing a relationship, even resistant to the idea. When we tell guys we aren’t looking for a relationship, we mean it. Then, of course, we fall in love with someone, despite everything.
I had a big crush on the neighborhood girl “Tracy” when I was around 8 years-old.
I usually kept it to myself but happened to tell my group of neighborhood guy friends about it (bad idea). Sure enough we’re all sitting at the end of my driveway when she comes strolling by. As she passes one of the guys yells “Hey Tracy, John wants to be your boyfriend!”
She doesn’t even stop walking or turn her head to acknowlege us but replies “I’d rather be dead.”
Had another crush on “Shari” in the 4th grade. I was too shy to even say hi and she probably didn’t even know I exsisted. I admired her from afar. I was watching her one day on the playground playing tag with some others. The kid she was chasing was heading my way and decided to use me as an obstacle to hide behind. Suddenly she’s directly in front of me trying to get the kid behind me swinging to my left and right. She abrubtly stops and looks me straight in the face. I froze. I couldn’t do anything but give her a big smile. She returns my smile with a frown and says “Get out of my way you big dummy!”
Worst thing I’ve ever done is call a girl by my previous girlfriend’s name. Two different times, with different girls, using the same incorrect name. I ended up getting back together with, and married to the girl whose name I incorrectly used.
Worst thing said to me was “you’re pathetic” at a very obviously vulnerable time. Almost 20 years later, and I’m still upset about it.
A kid I didn’t even know came up to me in middle school and said, “Your chest probably wouldn’t be so flat if you didn’t carry your books like that.”
Same year: A bigger kid sat down next to me on the bus. When his friends called to him, he said, “Nah, I’m gonna sit up here with my little flat-chested girlfriend.”
When I was about nineteen, my boyfriend asked me to hand him his lighter. When I did, I noticed that it had a picture of a girl in a bikini on it and teasingly said, “Oh, you think she’s pretty, huh?” Without a glimmer of humor, he replied, “Well, she’s better than you.”
One of the nicest things said to me by a woman, after she decided she wasn’t really a “relationship person”, was “You’re invited to my wedding.” Thanks, but no.
Dung Beetle, aren’t you much happier now that you’re appreciated by guys who know what real beauty is?
And lorene, the guy was not only blind, but dumb. I wonder if he was also deaf.
