Nasty things that members of the opposite sex have said to you.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
101

Of course you know him the best, but is there any chance he meant it like “I’ll be the judge of that <leer>” like he couldn’t wait to see ??
Besides the peson that shouted “you’re fat” at me when I was out running (yeah, no shit, why do you think I’m out running?), and besides “I don’t think I ever really loved you”, there was:

Me, at around 12: I should wash vinegar through my hair, it gives you blonde highlights which are pretty.

My father: You already have blonde highlights and you’re still not pretty.

102

Ouch to all here.

There was the photographer who told me I could be a model. A plus size model. I’m a size 12. Bastard. (I know that plus sized models are usually 12s or 14s but I don’t consider myself a plus size anything).

“Good job on the self tanner!” by a stranger (I have vitiligo. The stranger had mistaken my splotches for sloppy application of tanning solution). Ditto “Hey, Michael Jackson’s got a chick!” (whatever that may mean).

“You were pretty.” from my husband. Gee, thanks.
“there’s no reason you can’t lose that baby weight; you’re just lazy.” from my MIL, prior to my diagnosis of hypothyroidism.

As for sexual partners in particular–there’s only my husband and my first real BF who told me that since I wouln’t put out, that he had no choice but to break up with me-during the dinner rush at the restaurant we both worked at. I was 16. Jerk.

103

I feel for you, but that sounds like a pretty standard business conversation to me, if it’s true that you’re within the average size range for those models.

104

When I was in seventh grade, I was on one of the outer rungs of the social outcasts continuum. There was a girl in my class who was really friendly to me around the beginning of the school year. She was one of the popular kids that had a swarm of friends. I was flattered, and developed a bit of a crush on her.

A few months into the school year, she started being rather mean to me. Surprised at her behavior, I told her I thought she considered me a friend.

She replied, “I felt sorry for you.”

105

“It was like kissing my brother” this from my second kiss partner ever.

Once I was walking home (Jr high or so) and about five girls walking the opposite direction started singing “I’m too sexy for you!” while laughing. At least they weren’t pointing but it was pretty clear I ‘inspired’ the song.

“Well I do like you but I like Joe Smith more and I’m hoping he’s going to ask me out…if not maybe you could ask me out next week?”

and the cruelest thing of all what was never said…very good looking girl who was sweet and very nice apparently had a huge crush on me for 5 freaking years never said a word to me! WTF? while I was wasting time with girls that were crazy or mean or not interested in me there was this lovely girl who was dying to be my girlfriend (and not play psycho mind games on me like the girls I did end up dating) never saying a word. I found out like this
“Remember that girl named Christine Jones?”
“Yeah she was cute. I remember when I was really little and used to play with her after church”
“Didn’t she have a math class with you in Jr High and High School?”
“I think so…yeah she sat a few rows over I recognized her and all but she never seemed interested in talking to me”
“Hahahaha that’s funny she LOVED you. She spent 5 years staring at you and you never even noticed.”
“Yeah hilarious. What’s her number?”
“Oh I think she’s married now or something”

106

Evidently she went to my school but I never recognized her name outside of our instant message conversations. We both knew each other’s names but never actually knew each other. One day we had this conversation…

Me: How you doing today?
Her: Not good.
Me: Uh oh, what happened?
Her: I finally saw you today.
Me: Oh?
Her: Yeah. You’re not attractive.

I’d have taken ugly a million times over but the way she phrased it, “You’re not attractive” just stung. It was worded like an official statement of fact (if that makes any sense).

I later find out who she is. Turns out I didn’t miss much. It stung, but wasn’t that big of a deal, though I guess the fact that I still remember it 10 years later says something.

107

I’ve had that one from a guy once he’d decided he was over his ex and didn’t need me to distract him anymore: “I love you… Like a sister”. :rolleyes: Seven years later, he’s changed his tune and denies he ever even said that. Too late sucker, I’m happy elsewhere now. :smiley: :stuck_out_tongue:

Course there was also, in high school, around the age of 15 “Angua, your only redeeming features are fit ankles”. And of course the guy who at the Freshers’ Debate evening in my first year undergrad looked at me and incredulously said “They let people like you in here now?” He was slapped. Hard. With a ridged metal purse.

108

Are you Marty McFly?

109

Me, too.

*and bbs2k and RobotArm

110

:smiley:

I dunno why but this made me laugh out loud.

111

“All men are rapists, and you needn’t pretend you’re some kind of saint”.

Thirty seconds later I was out of that door, and I have not seen her from that day to this.

112

Sadly no. He could skateboard. And the only crazy scientist I’ve known liked to blow things up and cook meth in his basement.

113

Can I play too, but with same sex?
I had a…erm… playmate when I was in high school who was closeted. He’d made it very clear that this was not open for discussion (him mom was primitive Baptist.) He would tell gay jokes in front of me to a mutual friend of ours as part of his “cover” These included such gems as “What do you call six gays on a plane waiting to land at the Atlanta Airport?” — “Six Fags over Georgia” and others more hurtful (I just remember that one in particular.) The funny thing is that I put up with it for far too long.

114

Well, I’ve heard my share of fat comments over the years, as have all to many others here, I’m sure. So I’ll skip those and go right to the WTF ones.

I knew this girl who was smart, funny, liked hanging out with me, the whole bit. I screwed up the courage to ask her out and she said yes. Couple weeks later we’re making out for the first time, and she was the one who started it. It got to beyond making out, but not quite actual sex, and she jumped up, ran to the bathroom, and threw up. Puzzled and more than a little, um, cooled off by this, I knock and ask if she’s okay. She didn’t answer. I can hear her talking, though. I lean over and catch part of her conversation with a friend of hers, on her cell phone. I remember it clearly, to this day.

“I got to thinking about what you and Becca and the rest would say if you knew I slept with him and it just made me sick, and he’s out there waiting, and oh god what do I do now?”

What you do now, you crazy bitch, is come out and find me gone. That’s what you do.

I didn’t hang out with any of them after that.

The other WTF comment that’s stuck in my mind is more confusing but less hurtful, somehow. Unfortunately, it’s been independently repeated by others who have no connection to the first, dammit.

“You look like a rapist.”

Seriously, what the fuck?

115

That is reprehensible. Pretty awesome that you recognized them for the shitheads they were and got the hell out of that situation. I can’t imagine my sense of identity being so wrapped up in what my friends think about who I’m fucking that I would become physically ill just at the thought of disappointing them. That is really pathetic. You’re lucky you didn’t actually have to sleep with that bitch.*

*’‘bitch’’ is not a term I use lightly. Damn her to hell.

116

You married him, didn’t you? :smiley:

For me- a group of us co-workers were in the break room discussing some controversial-at-the-time issue (maybe THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST when it had just come out), and a female co-worker with whom I had a respectful disagreement on this issue said “You remind me of my ex-husband!”

I kinda laughed in disbelief that she just said that, and asked “What do you mean by that?”

“Oh! I didn’t mean that in a bad way!”

To which another female co-worker said to her incredulously, “No, that’s always a positive thing to tell someone!”

The co-w who was defending me told me later told me “In case something comes of it, the (ex-husband) co-worker was in the bathroom crying after break, but don’t worry about it. She’s just that way & I was there for the whole conversation & I know you didn’t do anything.”

Nothing did come of it, but sheesh!

117

I haven’t had any abusive relationships, and the myriad people who’ve shot me down have tended to do so either politely or non-verbally.

I think the one comment that most hurt my self-esteem would have to be one I’d heard from a surprising number of partners. It really started to get to me after a while, to the point where one of my major criteria is that the person not respond in this way.

Basically, I’ll be in bed with the person, and at some appropriate moment I’ll go, “You’re really hot!” And he’ll say, “Thanks.” Period, end of exchange.

I’m left there mentally going, “…well??!” Like when you thank someone and they don’t say you’re welcome; you weren’t doing it to elicit the response, but the lack of it rankles.

118

Nope, but he’s a good friend to this day.

119

“If you gained 20 pounds you’d be cute.”

Said by a friend of my future BIL, who was so morbidly obese, that he could barely walk and wore adult diapers.

120

I was about 15 or 16.

Her: “I can’t go out with you anymore”
Me: “Why?”
Her: You’ve got hairy ears"

I should have asked her to take a look at my arse…now that’s what I call hairy