So I have to bonk a reasonably attractive (although not hit-all-my-buttons level hot) person of my my preferred gender, even though I don’t much care for their personality?
What guy hasn’t already done that at some point?
Can I picture Sean as a fat, smelly sixty year old man instead? It makes the dilemma more interesting for me.
To all those who are confident they may ethically break the promise to Sean:
Take yourself out of the scenario, and flip the offer. Sean is still his nebbishy self, still free, and still relatively uninjured; a peson named CHRIS in pinned under the rubble. Sean begins to leave the burning basement. Chris, fearing death and knowing Sean really wants to make the beast with two backs with him or her, calls out to Sean, promising to knock boots if Sean gets all heroic and shit. Sean does so, and they narrowly escape as described in the OP.
Once they’re both healed, Sean comes to visit and asks Chris to pay up. May Chris ethically decline?
Riemann, is something bothering you buddy, you want to go get a soda together and talk about it? I didn’t emphasize anything about not being gay, I merely asked for clarification as to what was actually being asked and then answered the hypothetical based on that, you seem to be projecting some anger you have inside you on to my post when you read it, you have a chip on your shoulder I think.
And yes I only f*** women that I find attractive.
Of course may decline. I can’t conceive of a scenario where such a promise can or should be legally, ethically or morally binding.
Of course it’s not legally bining. And Rhymers don’t have morals.
But by such a promise, do you mean a promise for sex, or a promise made when the person making it will die unless the person seeking the promise does something they are not obliged to do (and would be well advised not to attempt)?
If Sean is asking Bill Gates for a million dollars in exchange for risking his life to save Bill’s, may Gates welsh?
To be fair, a lot of people seem to be put off when other people come across as obnoxiously asserting their sexuality. Particularly when they come across as “aggressively” heterosexual, for some reason. I’m sure your mileage varies on whether you were being either obnoxious or aggressive, but I’d suggest that it’s not an unreasonable position, based on your post.
Which sort of begs the question: who goes around fucking people of their preferred gender that they don’t find attractive? Besides @John Clay, that is?
Yes, Chris may still ethically renege.
It’s entirely Sean’s decision whether he feels willing or able to risk his own life to help, but his decision should not be based on an expectation of getting something specific in return. If Sean is only trying to help in return for Chris’s offer made under such desperate circumstances, Sean is still a bit of an asshole, albeit less so that if he actively tried to extract the promise; and he still can’t reasonably expect the offer of sexual gratification to be honored.
Yes. And yes. I look at such actions the same way as I look at lending money to family: there are some things that you may decide to do that, if only for your own peace of mind, you have to accept in advance that you may not ever get anything in return for it.
So if I get a call telling me that I am the only donor match for a dying guy, and unless I donate a kidney he will die, if I tell them I will only do it for $50 thousand, that’s extortion?
Exactly so. I not only do not fulfill the promise, I report the idiot to H.R. for violation of workplace discipline. I might also talk to a lawyer about suing his/her ass.
But Sean is neither a firefighter nor Clark Kent. she has no hte legal obigation to act and undertakes a substantial risk of death by doing so. For this tobe extortion, would not Sean have to actually do something she had no right to do?
Would Sean have acted immorally or unethically by making like a rabbit?
Nope. Laypeople are not under any ethical obligation to risk their lives to save someone else’s.
But Bill Gates may ethially welsh on a promise to compensate Sean for the risks involved and injuriies incurred in saving Gates’ life, when it was Gates’ who made the suggestion, not Sean?
ETA: I just reread the relevant posts. My memory was wrong; you have not in fact said that Bill Gates may do what the last paragraph suggests. Sorry.
This changes the scenario a little - it was freely offered rather than asked for under threat.
If I’m Chris, I follow through on my promise. I wouldn’t have offered something that I wasn’t prepared to follow through with, and I put a high priority on following through with my promises. (Which is why I’m more likely to call out something like “I’ll do your taxes. For free!”)
Applying the rules to the population at large, though, I’m willing to say that the right to refuse sex takes precedence over the obligation to keep your word. If a hypothetical Chris wants to say no to sex, they should be allowed to.
May Sean negotiate? If you’ve made your free-taxes for life offer (I assume YOUR life isworth more than a few hurs work) because she herself is a CPA, and she says “You know what I want! Bust my cherry!”, would ou feel obliged to follow through?
No… not obliged. I still think there’s a right to say no to sex whatever may have happened before that.
Would I do it anyway, to satisfy my own personal word? Maybe. A negotiation makes it a little more palatable than the original scenario… but it still takes quite the asshole to 1) start to leave without saving other people and then 2) negotiate for sex when asked for help. I can forgive point 1 due to panic, fear or other innocent traits, but I don’t think I want to be around (let alone sleep with!) people who start negotiating sex before they’ll save your life.
“No,” Sean replies. “Your bippy is the only one I want booping my boppy.”
We may be using hte word “obliged” in different senses. When I say that I’m oblged to do something, it means my personal code of conduct requires that I do it, regardless of what the law says. If my neighbor’s kid goes into the pool and is drowning, I, Skald, am obliged to try to save her if no one more competent to do so is aroundk even if hte law says I don’t have to. I can only be released from that obligation, by my rules, if saving her would endanger one of my own kids, or multiple other children.
You said it better than I would have. I guess I would have made the promise, but with time afterwards to think I’d still say no, sorry.
I assume you’d have also promised money, ya job, your favorite piece of jewelry, your SuperBowl tickets. Do you welsh on those as promoses as well?
If you made the initial suggestion – “Sean, please don’t leave me here to die! I’ll have sex with you if you save me! Please!” – do you feel free to renege on then? What if you offered him your savings, a job, etc?
I’d say, “Look, Hannity… this shit just isn’t happening. You work at FOX News, you should be used to being lied to by now. You want to call Roger Ailes? Use my phone.”
