Need A Jargon Heavy Job Title

I’m a no-nonsense kind of guy, so I really have a hard time thinking of things in the kind of jargon where someone calls themselves a “sanitation engineer” instead of a garbage man. You know, a lot of fancy words which when strung together sound important, but don’t really mean anything. I’m looking for a title like that for what someone in covert ops would refer to as “The Cleaner.” The kind of guy you call on when the shit’s hit the fan so hard that it’s jammed the blades. It doesn’t matter what went wrong, or what you should have done, this guy is the guy who can come in and save everybody’s bacon. Any ideas?

The Total Logistics Coordinator.

TLC, geddit? This is what they used to call the coffee lady at NASA in the 70s.

Pyroasinus Recovery Specialist. Because, you know, it’s someone who pulls your ass out of the fire.

I worked with a Director of Management Administration. He had no idea what that meant either.

On-Site Technical Coordinator

Withdrawal Specialist
Personnel Recovery Coordinator

Situation Recovery Specialist

Crisis Stabilization Engineer

SNAFU Repair Technician

swap words or substitute synonyms as needed.

Those are good, but could we crank the obfuscation knob up a bit?

Sustainable Bacon Specialist

Director of Situation Management

Harvey Keitel Simulation Engineer :smiley:

How about: The Wolf


The Adumbrate

How about :

Executive Director for
Cross Departmental Situational Normalizations & Crisis Management.

The III.

The Pete Puma Tracker/Trapper/Relocator/Corrector.

You know you want that title!

Methods & Practice Administration

Operations Coordinator

The forementioned Director of Management Administration is about as fuzzy as you can get.

Nah, if I was going to do something like that it’d be Pete Puma Clubber Like A Harp Seal! :wink:

Special Expediter.
That was one of James Bond’s “cover” job titles in the 007 novels.
And what he did, definitely fits the bill. :cool:

Happiness Restoration Consultant. For such an intense, bad-ass job, only a weirdly perky title will do!

Sagger Maker’s Bottom Knocker {and yes, that is a real job title. Any UK Doper’s remember the reference?}

What’s My Line!