Need advice! Friend has CREEPY roommate.

In My Humble Opinion
1

I have a friend in Texas who I keep up with on a fairly regular basis. She is a college student, due to graduate soon. She lives in an apartment with a guy that is really strange. He’s unemployed, extremely messy, dirty, loud, etc.

Anyway, early today she found a hole in her bedroom wall. It goes through to the living room where it was hidden behind a couch cushion. This hole appeares to be designed so someone can spy on Loren in her bedroom from the living room. She sleeps in the nude and masturbates fairly often so she feels that he is getting off on this! The hole is bigger in her room than in the living room so she thinks that he was in her room making the hole while she was out at class or work.

Unfortunately, the lease doesn’t run out until July 31st and she just can’t up and move or pay the entire rent. She is wondering if she should even confront him about this because she doesn’t have a lock on her door and she is worried that if she does he might do something against her.

What should she do? I honestly have no idea what advice to give her.

I personally think that she should go and purchase some sort of lock on the door, fix up the hole and then report him somewhere. But where? The police? Her landlord for sure, I’d think.

2

Can she move a piece of furniture in front of it or hang a picture over it?

3

Shit. I’d move in with a friend for a few months. Take the hit. It sounds way too creepy to me.

Also, she can fill in the hole on her side and check each night to be sure he hasn’t dug another one.

4

I think she should go to the police to ask for advice how to handle this. They are the experts.

5

I second going to the police, there needs to be official documentation of this. The behavior you described sends up all kinds of red flags to me, and I wouldn’t let her be in the apartment alone with him. If he’s watching, before long he’s gonna want a “taste” of that action. He might never act on the idea, but I personally wouldn’t want to risk it. Based on what he’s likely seen, and the fact that he’d have the guts to spy on her like that… No, she needs to find out how she can protect herself, and definitely not be alone with him any more. Tell her to go to the police and have them come see what she’s discovered. Get a female officer if need be. Don’t confront him with it, just let the police know and handle it. She might be able to get out of the lease, because there is a danger to her. I don’t know what the laws are where you live though. That also would be worth looking into.

6

If there’s no lock on her door, and if he’s that creepy, what’s to keep him from walking in on her some time?

What is she doing rooming with Creepy Guy in the first place?

7

Wait 'til you’re sure he’s looking, then jab him in the eye.

Yes, yes, I know, bad idea, but it’s so tempting! Of course, pepper spray doesn’t do any permanent damage…

8

Tempting as that might be, it could also be a bad idea as it might provoke him to do womething really stupid.

I’d move out ASAP.

9

I would go with notify the police. The guy appears to bea total freak, and needs some expert treatement.

10

Move out. Call the police. Call a lawyer. NOW.

If she is mistaken, she’s out of creepy guy’s life and she’s somewhat protected.

11

Have her take pictures of the holes and bring them to the landlord. If s/he won’t do anything about it, take it to the police. As an immediate matter, put something like a dresser in front of the hole.

It might be good to call the police anyway, because then she will at least have a police report. Oh, and get her to purchase some pepper spray in case he actually does assault her.

Poor girl! I bet she feels violated. Help her out as best as you can.

12

The good ideas have already been posted, so I’ll contribute a bad idea:

Put a picture from Playboy over the hole, on the bedroom side, with the picture facing into the hole.

A few days later, replace it with a car ad.

Then keep cycling various pictures and ads from random magazines, junk mail, what have you.

At some point, finish with a picture saying, “Nosy little perverted f–ker, aren’t you?”

13

She could have somone else in the room with her hiding out of sight of the peeping tom. Then she can start to make like she is going to be getting naked for the night and when she knows that he is watching, have the accomplice friend squirt pepper spray through the peep hole.
Seriously, she should contact the landlord and the police, and at the very least, try not to be alone with this guy for very long.

14

Psychologically speaking…there is something here other than a dilema that has to do with money…She sleeps in the nude and masturbates often…knowing full well she is probably being spied on? Has she ever slept with the man? Sounds slightly fishy.

If non of the above…get out NOW!

15

Speaking in completely broad generalizations based on personal experience and anecdotes from friends, women are MUCH more reluctant to get into confrontations of any kind, but jeebus.

She’s wondering if she should confront the guy? Holy crap! He’s likely spying on her!

Advise her to call the police, call the landlord, and get the hell out. If the landlord puts up a fuss about her breaking the lease, have her contact a lawyer.

That just ain’t right.

16

She only found the hole today. Now she realizes he may have seen her before.
I second the get out right away, call the cops and the landlord, and do not be alone with him, especially if he is going to know she found him out. If the “jig is up” or whatever, he might move on from voyeur to rapist, a not-uncommon progression in the stages of sexual predation. The landlord might be willing to let her out of the lease, too, under these circumstances.

17

Ummm…from reading the OP, it sounds like she enjoyed those activities in (what she thought was) private, then discovered the spy hole. I have a feeling she’s not doing either very much right now. Only sounds fishy if you switch the chronological order of the events.

She definitely needs a lock on the door - and she should be able to have the apartment complex install one at no charge.

18

Thank you for all the advice I passed the advice on to her.

First of all, to answer some questions, she didn’t know how creepy he was under after she moved in with him. She didn’t find him that creepy before this, he just seemed to have no life. Her man problem with him was that he was messing.

And she didn’t know he was spying on him. She is really, really upset about this, as I would be too. She is worried that he might have taken pictures or a video or something of her sleeping.

She wants to move right now, but can’t afford an apartment of her own and there are no friends in the area that she can move with for 2 months. She has a friend she can stay with every once in a while, and she is spending the nights with him recently.

Anyway, she decided that she was going to confront her roommate and tell him that either he pay two months rent for her or she was going to the cops. But first, she went to the landlady and told her about the situation. The landlady is looking for any legal way to make the roomie leave but have to pay the rent first.

The landlady sent over some maintenance guys and they installed a lock on her door and began patching the hole. When they moved the couch to patch it, they found ANOTHER hole. She has absolutely no idea how long this hole had been there. She took a lot of pictures of both of the holes and left them with her mother in case the roomie might try anything.

She immediately called the cops at that point. The officer confronted her roommate, but the roomie denied everything. The officer said that there was nothing she could do since they had no proof that he drilled those holes and was using them to spy. My friend asked if he would dust for prints, but the cop said that because it was on a textured surface, he couldn’t get anything back. Maybe I just watch too many shows like the New Detectives, but it seems crazy to me that they can’t find someway to find out if he made those holes.

If the cops can’t legally prove that he is responsible for the holes or did anything wrong, is a lawyer going to be able to do anything? She doesn’t have a lot of money, so she can’t afford to get a lawyer unless he can actually help out. :confused:

Thanks for all the responses!

19

How long has she lived there? Any chance they were there when she moved in, and the guy isn’t responsible?

20

Then she, you, and no-one else in this thread, who all seem happy to jump to a conclusion, can’t prove anything either.

I think this case has more holes in it than the wall.