Need help naming a boat....

A friend of mine just bought a 23 ft. searay speedboat. We’re trying to come up with a name for it. Do any doper’s have some creative names we could give it. Just so you know, a couple suggestions that we’re considering are: “Aquaholic”, “Patriot Games”(he’s a huge New Englend Patriots fan), and my favorite, “Cirrhosis of the River.”
Any other suggestions?

“Patriot Games” is your best choice. I know around here (DC), the river police will pull you over (pull aside, rather) and check your sobriety. The other two choices would seem to be a magnet for the authorities to keep an eye on him.

My friend named his “The Escape Key”, being a computer programmer.

Paint some teeth on the bow and call it “Arsebiter”.

How about the IMHO, to commemorate the trip this thread is about to make?

What was the prior boat’s name? Old Yeller? Did it have to be put down. Poor Old Yeller.

How about “The Quickie?” It has all the sounds of a porn movie about vibrators and all the speed of a speedboat?


How about my sig?

When I was growing up my girlfriend’s dad had a boat named “The Other Woman”. It fit since he was always out fishing without the wife.


I LOVE Cirrhosis of the River. If not that “After You”. Then you can say, “I named my boat after you.”

I know, I know, old joke.

Capsize II

Ms. Understood.
The Office

But I like, Cirrosis of the River the best, if my two cents mean anything.

Old joke… calling in the hire boats on a lake:
“Come in number 6, your time is up…[pause]… oh, are you in trouble number 9?”

'Course if you called the boat 69 then it’d be right whichever way up it was. :slight_smile:

The Wife wanted us to name our new boat Free and Clear because we didn’t have to take out a loan for it. I was holding out for Nuthin’ Fancy because that describes the vessel.

The Girls wanted the boat to be named after them, but Stephanie Katharine is too long to fit on the transom, and they balked at Steffy-Kate.

Never Again III was suggested, as was Notice to Mariners (you know you’ve really made it when the Coast Guard mentions you by name). Hazard to Navigation lasted for about fifteen minutes on the third time we took the boat out (engine trouble).

We almost settled on Finally but decided to go with the Clownfish.

If you have a lot of time to waste, and like seeing that the average person is not as clever as they seem to think, you might be amused by these sites:

Dr. F, thanks. I was about to go to bed at a reasonable time, but found myself compelled to look at some of the boat name lists.

Here are a few that I liked:

Comfortably Numb
Berth Control
Budget Surplus
Bull Market
Boat Potato
Chicken of the Sea
Mafia Staff Boat
Don’t Like Yours Either
Here Fishee Fishee
Fog Ducker (get drunk and say this one!)
Forget me knot
Four Bouys, no Gulls
Hell Froze over
Harvey Dockbanger

Well, if it were an outrigger, I’d go with Bookin’ Dan-o.

According to one of Dr. Fi’s sites, Serenity is always in the Top 10 - if your friend is something like Frank Costanza, he could call it Serenity NOW!

My son told me he was going to get me a flat boat and paint different names on all sides like the one Pogo had in the comics.

Of course, the joke there was that by the time you’d read to the last panel, they had shown five different names.

A friend who used to live in Key West told me there was a guy there who named his boat the Miss Ogynist. I’m not sure if that’s the way he spelled it or not. But when she told the story she’d always add, “and he was too!”

There’s the old joke, too long for a name, but still good as a motto:

A boat is a hole in the water lined with payments.

You have to make sure he doesn’t name it something corny like freedom or patriotism or something.
I like more original names, like my dad’s boat is named Jaws. I don’t why but I like that. It sounds mildly threatening but not like its gonna run you down or something. You know.

I’ve always thought of naming my (future) boat “Anthony’s Song”. Screw the rat race, you’re on your boat, and you’re movin’ out!


I’ll assume “Pequod” and “Minnow” are out.

I suggest your friend use some play on his name. My father-in-law named his “Tomfoolery”.

Now if your friend’s name is Maurice…