We have 2 dogs, a male shepherd/lab mix we got from a shelter 9 years ago, and a female purebred shepherd we got as a puppy 8 years ago. She came from a pet store and was probably bred in a puppy mill (please don’t tell me about pet store dogs…I know). Both dogs are fixed. The female shepherd (we’ll call her Queenie to protect her anonymity) is shy and fearful of people, especially children. She’s fine with our daughter and is quite protective of her. It’s strangers she has a problem with, even strangers she sees regularly, and especially strange children.
Last night my neighbor’s 4 yr old son came running into our yard when the dogs were outside alone (we have them confined to our yard with an invisible fence) and Queenie nipped him on the butt…not hard enough to break skin, but hard enough to leave a nasty bruise and a terrified screaming child. This is the second incident with the same child in the past month. First time didn’t involve a bite because Mrs. Vet intervened, but it was a nasty snap and snarl. Our other dog (we’ll call him Rex), for what it’s worth, is very well adjusted and playful and is especially good with children.
So I have several problems. 1) I need to keep my neighbor’s children safe. This most recent problem happened because the boy came running over when no one was outside supervising the dogs. He should have known better, especially after being snapped at a few weeks ago (he has referred to “Queenie” as the “the mean one” ever since then). Nevertheless, it won’t make anyone feel any better if he gets seriously hurt even if it is his fault…the poor kid is only 4. 2) I’ve been struggling for years to deal with the root of the problem, which is that the dog is shy and fearful. We’ve gone out of our way to try to socialize her better and improve her confidence with training and activity, but nothing seems to be working. The dog doesn’t play and isn’t motivated by food. Any sudden movement by family members will cause her to yelp and cry as if she were being beaten, and being startled by a stranger will result in a fear bite if she can’t retreat. I don’t know what else to try to improve her confidence and deal with her fear. 3) The dog is ruining a close friendship with our neighbors. We’ve always been good friends with them and our children like playing together. If their kids are terrified of our dog and the parents worried about injury, it will put a major rift in our friendship. At this point, I’m not worried about them filing a complaint about the dog because we have a good enough relationship with them, but a 3rd incident may be over the limit. 4) The whole situation is really driving a major wedge between me and my wife. She’s finally starting to realize that the dog is a problem. She’s rationalized “Queenie’s” timidity for years as just a part of her personality. My reaction to this incident didn’t help and was probably the wrong thing to do. When she told me what had happened, I said that if there was one more incident, the dog had to go. She believes that this is a “my dog vs. your dog” thing. She believes that “Rex” is my dog and that “Queenie” is her dog. I don’t see it that way. We got both dogs together and they are OUR dogs. She accuses me of having a different attitude about Rex when he bit me several years ago. That was a dominance issue and it was dealt with appropriately (I put him on leash and walked him briskly to reestablish dominance and then isolated him in his crate for a while) and it has never happened again. Dominance biting is much easier to deal with than fear biting. If it had continued and if I had any fear that someone’s child was at risk of being bitten by him, my attitude would be exactly the same - he’d have to go if the problem couldn’t be solved.
So we both independently decided that we need to put a muzzle on “Queenie” when she is outside to prevent biting. Of course, we can’t even agree on that. Mrs. Vet wants to use a lightweight mesh muzzle, which looks to me as though it is intended to prevent barking, not biting. To me, it looks restrictive (although it claims to allow the dog to pant) and like it wouldn’t prevent biting. I want to get a basket muzzle - one that completely encloses the mouth without restricting it and allows the dog to pant and drink water. I initially suggested metal or PVC but she was concerned that “Queenie” would hurt herself trying to get it off. Then I suggested one of the leather muzzles that the police use on K-9 dogs. That wasn’t acceptable either, although I couldn’t get a clear reason why (at first she tried the same argument as against the metal muzzles and then decided that the leather muzzle would make Queenie look too menacing).
So anyway - I got troubles. Just writing them out probably helped a bit, but I’d really appreciate advice from anyone who has experienced this, or who has expertise in canine behavior. Marital advice would also be accepted, but I doubt it would help 