A friend of mine had a boyfriend who did her dirt, and who owns a couple of laudromats. She’s looking for ideas of what she could put into the machines to really mess them up. We figure things like dyes and inks would just spin out. So far, we’ve come up with sticky syrups (i.e. Karo,
maple, molasses), roadkill, and putting a load in covered
with ammonia, and then adding bleach (or would that kill everyone in the laundry?).
Anyone else got any ideas?
Slightly more subtle - get some sneakers/sandshoes and run them through the dryers. make sure they’ve got good coloured rubber soles that jut out. The movement will see them hit and slide accross the glass and interior of the machine. It’ll need a good clean (and it won’t be easy) without doing permanent damage.
Annoying rather than destructive…
1923: Marcel Marceau, French mime, was born. "I do not get my ideas from people on the street. If you look at faces on the street, what do you see? Nothing. Just boredom.", The 450-foot-long, 45-foot-tall "Hollywood" sign was erected on Mount Lee as a promotion for the Hollywoodland subdivision in Beachwood Canyon, Ca. In 1949 the "land" was dropped and the sign was declared a historical monument in 1973 and restored in 1978, Insulin becomes generally available, The first game was played in Yankee Stadium. The Yankees defeated the Boston Red Sox 4-1, Adolf Hitler was arrested for his attempted German coup (while he was in jail he wrote Mein Kampf, which was sub-titled Four-and-Half Years of Struggle against Lies, Stupidity, and Cowardice), Picasso painted "Olga,"and less likely to cause a lawsuit or get anyone in trouble with the police.
Be careful of things like fingerprints.
I’ve always heard that living well is the best revenge. Maybe just ignoring the guy completely, and finding an even better guy and being happy would be just the thing.
Sorry for your friend’s unhappiness, Annie Xmas.
What if he doesn’t believe she’s living well?
Do you have to get some reliable witnesses to testify to the fact that you are indeed living well, perhaps even better than before?
Sorry, but the living well thing has always irritated me. I just get this mental image of a bitter person calling an ex on the phone to say that she’s living well: ^Hahaha! Gotcha! I’m living well! Muhahahahahah!^
Just doesn’t have the same satisfaction as the bleach and ammonia thing 
I think possibly the thing about living well, is, that if you really are living well, you no longer care and have gotten beyond the point of wanting revenge.
That’s my take on it anyway. But sorry if I irritated you.
Sorry to hear about your friend’s troubles. I’ll just comment that no depth of anguish on her part justifies wreaking any damage on third parties’ laundry.
Perhaps living well is the course to pursue.
“A friend of mine had a boyfriend who did her dirt”
Oh, surely you don’t want us to do anything illegal do you? What if there are cameras around? If not, guess who the number one suspect would be anyway?
Just have her get another boyfriend. Maybe they can have wild animal sex in the laundromat instead?
Yeah, it’s probably best to leave it. If you did pour this type of thing in, wouldn’t it just destroy innocent people’s clothes who have nothing to do with the guy?
I really would not suggest putting dyes or anything like that in the washers, because you’re going to end up hurting some poor schlepp who just came in to wash his clothes, and not your intended target.
If you insist on revenge, howver, might I offer contacting the IRS and suggesting that they might want to check to see if he has been totally honest on his taxes? I don’t know the nature of the “dirt” he did your friend, but if he’s a sneaky individual, stands to reason he might not be totallt honest with the IRS as well. An audit is a horrible experiance, so I’m told, necessitating countless hours of research, and digging up old records to prove every deduction.
She can always do what Kramer and Jerry did on one of the very, very early episodes (was it the pilot? dunno) of Sienfeld: empty a sack of concrete mix in one of the washers.
Personally, I think the idea of getting even with a guy by vandalizing his business is the wrong route to take – too big a risk of regretable, collateral damage (screwed over employees, customers, etc.). If she’s hellbent on having her pound of flesh she should find a more focused, personal method… IMHO, of course.
Not that I advocate this course of action, but a book on revenge I read a few years back said that pizza in a dryer is pretty brutal.
I always liked the mail-in Change of Address card, myself. Also illegal, and nothing that I would ever do. No, not me.
Buzzard Breath, ND is a good destination…
But the group is right. Living well is always the best course of revenge.
Also, remember that I AM A MENTAL PATIENT, so act on what I have to say accordingly, ok?
Whatever you do do NOT do the ammonia and bleach thing… the two combined release poisonous gas. Good chance someone could die. Really.
I was gonna mention the Seinfeld concrete thing… if you do that make sure its quick dry.
I would have suggested
Instant Mashed Potatos food dye and a roll of quarters.
but, I would hate for your friend to get hit by that much bad Karma.
Osip
Why run the risk of destroying someone else’s laundry when you can crazy glue the locks to the laundromat (either door to the laundromat as a whole or cash compartments of individual machines, make him work for his money)
Of course my personal recommendation would be to put him on the mailing list of every evangelical organization you can find…
putting up flyers every week or so, offerimg free or weird stuff and including his phone number.
Sadly, you are asking for advice about a largely illegal activity. Plus, any physical revenge will also require the commission of a crime which you may not want to be part of. Handy’s idea of a photo of sex at the location is the best to tweak an old boyfriend’s tail. Especially if he never got any of the good stuff that way in his own laundromat.
(Hands up)
I volunteer to do the deed.
Want to chase out his customers, stay out of legal trouble, and make some cash while your are at it? Start up a diaper service.
Many of these plans could also result in damage to some innocents clothes.
And you think that he might not, just possibly, guess that the ex-girlfriend is responsible for the revenge- and get WORSE revenge back? Or even get her arrested? he could “go postal” and do worse than damage he stuff- he could kill or damage HER. How is revenge worth this risk?
And finally, plotting or suggesting ways to break the Law is against the SBMB rules- and Cecil won’t like it.
That depends on whether chlorine or oxygen bleach is used. Pretty miserable way to die, from what I hear.
My personal philosophy is that when you find yourself devoting time and/or energy to finding ways to cause others grief, it’s a good time to re-evaluate your life and thought processes. She should just be glad she’s not married to the bastard.