Thank you for your kind words, purplebear. I really appreciate them. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. BTW, I’m sorry but I can’t seem to find the thread you were talking about. Is it in MPSIMS?
Remeber: “I can do all things through Chist which strengtheneth me.” Philippians 4:13. May God give you grace the need you need to overcome your depression.
God bless,
jenkinsfan
I’m no expert in prayer like Mr. Jenkinsfan, and I’mn sure he will have a more meaningful contribution to make. But I will offer up the following, for what it’s worth.
The darkest our may bring a sadness and hopelessness which seems insurmountable.
We are foolish beeing, and succumb so easily to dark thoughts.
Think instead about the next sunrise, which brings seemingly endless light and hope.
Think instead of all the possibilities ahead.
My thoughts are with you and yours, and I know you will be back to cheerful soon. Anyone named Purplebear cannot remain sad…
Sili
jenkinsfan:
jenkinsfan, I happen to believe in God myself and this is not Great Debates so let me just disagree with you as benignly as possible.
My opinion is this. You are witnessing, you are just doing it in a different way. You know if it walks like a duck and talks like a duck then it must be a duck.
My opinion also is that unless ordained or called by God to preach…religion should be a private matter…between you and God. One should hide their light under a bushel you know?
If you want to pray for us then just say a prayer collectively for all the residents of the straightdope message board. No one here probably deserves it more than anyone else. I feel sure that if you stood the board on it’s head and shook it, you would see sad stories fall out of all of our emotional pockets.
Now I think your thread would be ok if Cecil and the Chicago Reader saw fit to interview and have a chaplan on board the Straightdope message board and you had been designated as that chaplan…but the fact is he hasn’t and you aren’t. You could be anyone. So if you feel the need to pray… then pray for us all and be done with it.
I clicked on this thread because I am a curious human being and then was overcome by what I felt was covert witnessing.
If you post on this board then you are going to get some opinions.
You just got mine.
Can you see what you can do about getting me laid?
Mention also, that I prefer large breasted women, please.
Yes, jenkinsfan, it is in MPSIMS, currently it’s partway down on the 2nd page. Thank you for this thread, jenkinsfan.
Thank you for your kind words, tradesilicon. I really liked that little poem. I’m sure I will be too. 
You’re right, someone named purplebear can’t stay down for long. Thanks, I needed that smile.
{{{{{{{jenkinsfan}}}}}}}
{{{{{{{tradesilicon}}}}}}}
Dear Lordy, I know you’re listening.
Could you please do me this one favor? I promise to stop smoking if you do.
Lordy lord, could you PLEASE make your servant, jenkinsfan, realize that although he or she says that this is not witnessing, it is? Dear Jesus, jenkinsfan is lying in your name, which is sacriligious in its own right. Please enlighten jenkinsfan, dear Jesus.
Jesus, I know that you are a good guy, and that you really hate it when people act like asses on your behalf. Please find it in your heart to forgive jenkinsfan for this. Please do not send jenkinsfan to hell for all eternity.
In return for your lenience, I will eat a hamburger that was sacrificed for you by the saint McDonald.
And Jesus? I’ll do this in the pit next time.
Thanks pal.
Brian
Does this mean I’m not gonna get laid?
Hey, I wasn’t really a believer until one day I prayed, and the Lord answered me! That’s right, I got down on my knees and prayed that he would have this guy that I liked call me, and… the guy called! Well, it didn’t really work out and all that stuff, but still… I left the matter in the Lord’s hands, and he took care of it.
I said:
Dear Batman: ( I am a Batman fan. I worship him.)
Please, Batsy, please have ____ call me! He’s so cute and everything, and he reminds me of you, when you fight crime in the streets. (The guy I liked was a cop.) Please, please, please, dear Lord Bruce, if it would please you, my master I beg you to allow me this one pleasure!
Etc.
Well, when the phone rang and it was this guy, I thought, WOW! It worked!
I was suprised by two things:
A) That is was kind of a relief to just say, if Bruce wants it, it’ll happen. It almost was an “out of my hands” kind of deal, even though Bruce, technically, is a comic book charcter.
B) It was kind of nice to ask for help with something that you really can’t get help in. But Batman, in his omnipotence, can do anything! If he thinks it’s a good idea, that is. And he’s usually very kind. But if he says no, well, so be it! There’s probably a reason. You know how smart Bruce is, and he never tells anyone what he’s really up to until the last minute.
So there ya go. If anyone wants prayers, I’d be happy to send a prayer to Bruce, or you can just do it yourself. Bruce is cool, because he’s already rich, and he’s not going to be asking to hand over any money!
Sorry about misspellings and stuff, i have about 7 or 8 IM boxes going right now…
A girl
Well, maybe not tonight, Euty.
I think jenkinsfan might not realize that his offer of assistance to his kindred spirits might be perceived as a profession of faith, i.e., witnessing, on this board. I find it of little offense - he’s not proseltyzing, he’s just doing what some christians do in aid of their fellows. My take is to just leave the thread for those who care to participate and be done with it.
Yeah, it does leave some room for humor laden replies, but I don’t really feel like you have to come down on him for making his offer in the currency to which those of his faith subscribe. As I said, it doesn’t strike me as overt proseltyzing.
FWIW, jenkinsfan et al, I’m atheist, so don’t pray for me.
Back to your scheduled programming…
…but simple offers of prayers for folks in trouble happen all the time 'round here. Jenk just started a thread about it. No problem for me; in fact, I think it’s rather sweet.
Catrandom
Apparently unlike some other posters, but thats all right, where would we be if we all agreed on things.
Anyway, as I’ll be working this summer in the hopes of being able to attend college again next fall I would appreciate some prayer in the hopes of grabbing and holding a good job- my college ends rather late and the market is generally pretty tight by the time I get to start applying.
Also I’m looking to get some meaningless fornication in during the break, and do some illegal drugs(oh, who am I kidding, I’m looking to do a lot of fornication and illegal drugs).
If you would keep me in your prayers I would be very grateful.
jenkinsfan:
I have no quarrel with you here or elsewhere. However, I do wish to offer some advice. Feel free to ignore it - I got used to being ignored at your other stomping grounds, so I won’t be hurt or anything should you not take heed.
This is a board where anything can be discussed. Do a search through my own meager contributions to this place and you will see me commenting on a slew of topics in a slew of forums.
I see you are into Jesus. We all do, trust me. But I am into music, yet I manage to have opinions on thinsg not dealing with music, nor do I have to get into discussions about movies by bringing up the soundtracks.
So God is #1 with you eh? Well, I don’t think He needs to be numbers 2-17 as well, having #18 be apple pie, and back to God rounding out the rest of your personal Top 20.
I chat with Lauralee on a semi-regular basis. We spend much of our chats talking about life - her husband’s new job, me and Libby, whatever comes to mind - and she is not a “Christian” and I am not a “Unsaved Non-believer,” but we are two people who enjoy talking to one another, who appreciate each other, respect each other, and secretly want each other…
SMACK Hey, I WAS JUST JOSHING YA< LL! 
Anyway, do we have religious chats? Sure. That’s a part of her and something I am curious about in friends and foes alike. But is it everything? No.
We have a good number of Christians here who are not so insecure in their faith (yes, that’s an allegation, but not an unfounded one) that they have to spout “Jesus” all the time. I love Libby, but I do not only post about her.
So feel free to have every post be one form of witnessing or another. Wear your theology on your sleeve. Show yourself to be a shallow person, easily dismissed and pigeon-holed as simply “that Christian guy.”
Just remember what Jesus said about those who are just showing off for other men… And remember that if you choose to be a characature, you will be a characature, and you will also be treated as such.
Yer pal,
Satan
TIME ELAPSED SINCE I QUIT SMOKING:
One month, three weeks, four days, 4 hours, 4 minutes and 6 seconds.
2206 cigarettes not smoked, saving $275.85.
Life saved: 1 week, 15 hours, 50 minutes.
Kids – Lay off Jenks. We’re grownups here. Go to The Pit if you want to be assholes.
Moderators – If this thread is pissing you off so much, move the damned thing to where it belongs.
Jenks – Nice offer but this is not the place. I’m sure you know that by now.
Everybody – Go to sleep. It’s late.
Because I’m the daddy. That’s why.
What is so threatening about prayer that you all need to give this guy a bad time because he offers to pray for you IF YOU REQUEST IT?
If he offered to send postive thoughts to whatever you happen to believe in, would he get this much flak?
I think not.
If you don’t feel you need or want a prayer, don’t ask for one. Simple.
Scotti
Satan–I’ve been trying to think of a way to say pretty much what you just said. Thanks.
JF–I am really sorry about the harsh reception you’ve received from some of the people here. As a regular over at the LBMB (at least before it seemingly permanently crashed), I have some experience with holding an unpopular view among those on a message board.
I think that you come to the SDMB as if you have something to give us–you see it as a “witnessing mission”. I think that mostly because you said as much yourself on the LBMB. I decided not to say anything when you said that, because your first action here afterwards was your “What makes a good Christian?” thread over at GD.
The problem here is that you don’t seem willing to take anything from this community. I don’t hang out at the LBMB because I want to convince everyone that God is just an idea. I hang out there because they offer an interesting perspective, and represent ideas that are different from mine. The LBMB has not made me any more of a believer–in fact, probably less. If I showed up in The Narrow Road and started periodically posting threads entitled, “There is no God–Get Over It”, or occasionally popped into a thread to say, “Well, I don’t know much about Catholicism, but it doesn’t matter since there’s no God,” how much sympathy would I get even from the non-believers?
You are quite welcome in this community, as long as you’re willing to be a part of the community rather than a missionary for your particular cause.
Dr. J
Damn people, I dont know jenkins from other posts, maybe if I did my opinion would change.
This thread? I mean… my God if you cant post a thread about praying for someone IF THEY WANT IT here where can you on the sdmb? BTW the answer is MPSIMS, it just so happens that for some reason uptight fucks seem to answer first in an attempt to keep people from posting shock-dont-say-it-or-you’ll-be-hated nearly religious threads that “threaten” the agnostic feel of the messageboard. To all you anti-religious-spout-hate-to-every-person-who-claims-to-love-God-because-they-feel-happy-for-reasons-you-dont-understand people, I would be happy and proud if you jenkins would pray for me… subject matter is not a worry, God knows what is in my heart and what is my worries. I often pray for other people and neglect to pray for myself, I would be proud if jenkinsfan would take that special time and pray for me. I would be JUST as happy and gratefull if any one of you did the same.
jenkinsfan says: “I’m not more special than anyone else.”
If you don’t mind, I’ll reserve my prayer requests for someone with a little pull, not some yutz with a computer who thinks Left Behind is great literature.
There are children starving all over the world, but this clown will find the time to pray for your complexion problems.
Get thee behind me!
B_Line12 said:
Well I do know jenkinsfan from other posts and I see very little sincerity in this person. I am of the opinion that jenkinsfan is using this request for prayer much like a pitcher plant uses nectar to lure its prey to its death.
Perhaps jenkinsfan is actually interested in the welfare of the people who prayers were solicited but based on the tone of other posts, I think not. I think the larger purpose of this thread is the very one stated in the OP as NOT being the purpose, WITNESSING.
Jenkinsfan, I agree with beatle, CatRandom, Scotticher, and B_Line. Much as I admire and respect the other posters who have offered their $0.02, I disagree with them about you, at least as far as this thread goes. I can’t comment on other threads, not knowing you well enough yet. These kinds of attacks make me very sad.
I thank you for what you and tradesilicon said, and your prayers. I will appreciate it and accept it in the spirit I think it was given.
dropzone, I agree.
I apologize to anyone I have offended. I promise not to pray for anyone who asked me not to. I will honor your requests.
To everyone who requested prayer, well, you know what I’ll do!
BTW, I’m a Christian. I know that may make me popular with certain people and unpopular with others, but I’m not in this for popularity.
God bless,
jenkinsfan