A Fleetwood Mac song comes to mind:
Oh Well
I can’t help it about the shape I’m in
I can’t sing I ain’t pretty and my legs are thin
Don’t ask me what I think of you
I might not give the answer that you want me to
“Imperial March” from Star Wars
Guns 'n Roses - I used to love her
For the tread win I humbly submit Wildflower by Ghostface Killah. Its basically about a guy (our hero GFK) whose girlfriend has cheated on him and spent his money and he’s going off on her. The best part is when he claims to have turned her on to DeNiro flicks and therefore owns her life 
Ignorant, but helps in a pinch.
NSFW
I’ve been wanting to get that for when my wife calls (as a joke), but I can’t find it.
Great recommendation…:: pretty pretty please, kill me…put a bullet in my hea-ea-ea-ead::
Most cathartic second-hand experience I ever had was riding an hour to the mall with my buddy expressly to buy this CD after he’d been dumped, and riding back with Sandler’s psychosis blasting full-bore from a beat down '79 Ford. Ahhh, high school.
Myself, I’d recommend AC/DC’s “The Jack”
Note to the uninitiated-“The Jack”= VD
Cool, I am late but get to add a new one (I hope.)
The Spin Doctors “Little Miss Can’t Be Wrong.” It starts:
It’s been a whole lot easier since the bitch left town,
It’s been a whole lot happier without her face around.
How about '97 Bonnie and Clyde by Tori Amos? Of course, that might get a restraining order.
ooops
Seventy Times 7 by Brand New. More of just a very deep hatred song:
"So, is that what you call a getaway?
Tell me what you got away with.
Cause I’ve seen more spine in jellyfish.
I’ve seen more guts in eleven-year-old kids.
Have another drink and drive yourself home.
I hope there’s ice on all the roads.
And you can think of me when you forget your seatbelt,
and again when your head goes through the windshield.
And is that what you call tact?
You’re as subtle as a brick in the small of my back.
So let’s end this call, and end this conversation.
and is that what you call a getaway?
well tell me what you got away with.
cause you left the frays from the ties you severed
when you say best friends means friends forever"
thats the best excerpt, however the entire song could be used. It’s TERRIFIC!
I’d recommend Bad Luck by Social Distortion. I use it as a ringtone for a particularly assholish manager. Specifically this part:
Yes, she hears the song. It is the song assigned to her phone number by her x.
I’m compiling an email to send to him with these.
This is awesome. ( Would do business again!++++++++++++)
“Kyle’s mom is a big fat bitch” - its the ringtone I use for my little sister. Depending what you’re going for I’d suggest “Nothin’” by Reel Big Fish then last minute of the song is just “I don’t fucking care, I don’t fucking care anymore”
( I’ve never heard of The Saw Doctors. I like the sound. Thanks.)
Here’s a Quarter (Call Someone Who Cares)
“call someone who’ll listen, and might give a damn
maybe one of your sordid affairs.
but don’t come round here giving me none of your lines
here’s a quarter, call someone who cares.”
Nine Inch Nails, “Piggy”-- starts right out with the words, “Hey pig, yeah you. Hey pig piggie pig pig pig, all of my fears came true…” And it gets better (and by that, I mean worse) from there.
Remember the Jingle Cats? I’m pretty sure it’s a holiday album.
Any of thise songs – any!
MeowMeowMeowMeow
MeowMeowMeowMeow
MeowMeowMeow
MeowMeowMeowMeow
MeowMeowMeowMeow
MeowMeowMeowMeow
MeowMeowMeow…
Did anybody suggest “Hey Joe” by Hendrix?
Maybe your friend could answer the phone with his teeth.
ETA: If that’s too difficult, at least he could answer it behind his head.
*God Will * by Lyle Lovette
There’s even a ringtone here