As part of fundraising efforts at a major charity bash, a few of us will be selling insults. For five dollars, we’ll give a donor a writ of excommunication and then go insult the person of his or her choice.
So, we are in need of insults. They must not be too crude, and must not risk our getting smacked, but otherwise, if you have any amusing insults, please post them so that we can use them.
Thanks.
“The only difference between you and Charles Manson is that Manson has the decency to look like a nut case when you first meet him.”
Do you have a theme you’re looking for, Muffin?
This thread might help. It was when I was asking for some interesting insults.
donkeyoatey: Don’t have a theme. The fundraiser is being held at the Stu Bash, which is a party for college students returning home for Christmas that started decades ago. An arena is rented, and there will be a few thousand participants of all ages.
Obsidian Flutterby: Thanks for the lead.
“You watch Mary Kate and Ashley videos*, don’t you?”
*Substitute TV show/movie of the insulter’s choice as needed.
“may the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits”
-carnack the magnificent
“I refuse to have a battle of the wits with an unarmed person”
unclviny
When you arrive home, tonight, may your mother run out from beneath the porch, barking, and bite you upon the ankle.
may all of the sands of the Sahara, fill your navel.
may a syphilitic camel puke in your hat.
your sister gives green stamps
your mother swims out to meet troop ships.
your father was a hamster and your mother smelt of elderberries.
Ni!
You’re so ugly you could back a dog off a meat wagon.
My favorite really nerdy insults are.
You are so dense you have your own evert horizon.
and
You couldn’t hit the target in a one dimensional universe.