In my first girlfriend.
Dare I even ask, Zebra?
… off until tomorrow when you could do it today.
… to do a man’s job.
A swimming pool drain.
Same answer as I gave for the vagina thread:
in Michael Jackson.
… in a spiced eggplant, unless you really have to
… where a goat can get at it
… in a dead deer lying by the side of the road
on a slow boat to China.
where you wouldn’t put your tongue.
any place near a playful kitten.
…in me.
[QUOTE=John DiFool]
Dare I even ask, Zebra?
[/QUOTE]
She’d made Alex Forrest look completly stable.
In the family pet
… in the pickle slicer.
[QUOTE=lieu]
… in the pickle slicer.
[/QUOTE]
What happened to the pickle slicer?
She got fired also.
Thank you, try the veal.
in the path of a mighty sword.
[QUOTE=OtakuLoki]
A List of Things to Never Put In a Penis
[/QUOTE]
A knitting needle.
A friend of mine was an Army doctor, and had to treat a soldier who complained of extreme pain when urinating. It took a half-hour of awkward questioning to get him to admit he’d been using a knitting needle, catheter-style, to pleasure himself.
Eeeeew.
Another friend of mine is a blacksmith. He bought a “power hammer” (a big mechanical contraption that combines an automatic hammer with a built-in anvil, and strikes about 3 times per second when you press the pedal). As we were installing it in his garage, the guy whom he was buying it from (a very salty guy, with a thick Wisconsin accent) pointed out that the striking surface was about crotch-height. His warning: “Don’t stick yer dick in dat.”
…through a wild bee’s front door.
…in the popcorn.