New and Unimproved Workplace Rants

Most of the time when I’ve got nothing to do at work and others do, it is indeed a difference in efficiency.

But in my current job, it’s the bosses who have given a ton of work to some people, and assigned to others maybe three tasks for which we don’t even get the input we need. My German coworker is efficient as all get-go, but she’s got a mountain of work whereas the two Frenchmen and I are really busy twiddling our thumbs. We help her with what we can, but since we can’t do it openly (again, because of the bosses, or rather a specific one), it can’t be anything that needs a lot of explanations.

The boss who’s a problem is the same one who can’t believe in work from home: we get to be onsite for weeks despite having no meetings at all. He’s also fixated on using the new system to reproduce exactly the old ones: instead of replacing as much as possible, we’re keeping as much as he can get away with, and instead of having the immense majority of their corporate data in a single database, they’re using SAP as a mere reporting tool interfaced to a ton of systems, some of them older than me.

I have to regularly arrange for samples to be shipped to customers, other locations, etc. Sometimes it’s urgent and time-critical, sometimes not. Everything must go through our warehouse, and… I’ve got samples that have been sitting there for a month. Literally, an entire month. Several of these are super-critical samples that were needed in Singapore three weeks ago to start up a new lab there.

That is basically the highest priority project in the company at the moment, under intense scrutiny because the schedule keeps slipping. So you’d think people would want to avoid drawing the ire of the VPs by delaying it further… but, apparently not. After nagging for a month (a month!), turns out the warehouse folks are in Vegas for a conference now. I finally took the nuclear option of an email to the plant manager, and so far the response has been crickets chirping.

WTF is wrong with these idiots? They know damn well this will blow up in their faces, and they’ll have absolutely no defense since we now document every step of the sample shipment process because they’re so crap at their jobs. ugh.

A supervisor in a different department just poached my assistant. I know that its a boring job, but I don’t require busy work and allow people to surf the internet or read/study on their down time. I pay as well as any other department. Same benefits as the other departments.

The reason my assistant gave for leaving is that the other departments have a lot of people and mine has a grand total of 3. Now I have to find another assistant who meshes well and I have to put on a happy face, buy assistant a going away cake and write good wishes on his card. Not only that, the parking lot has cameras so I can’t let the air out of the poaching supervisor’s tires.

…and we might lose my fledgling trainee because she didn’t realize that she’s not guaranteed the hours she thought she was guaranteed. She already took a pay cut to work here. She’s been a dream trainee in terms of catching onto stuff very quickly, which is IMO a precious quality.

We’re holding our breaths because our slow season is coming up. If she bails, I honestly don’t know what we’re going to do.

Invite half a dozen coworkers out to lunch (or to check out something in your car). Lead them past the poacher’s car. Drop caltrops behind his tires as you pass.

We have an electronic training system. Now, whenever I entered something to be assigned, it would come back to me at least three times for correction. And don’t get me started on identifying who has to be trained, or the undocumented requirements. It drove me crazy trying to get an assignment through.

So, I was received a slew of assignments, more that could possibly be completed within the (undocumented) limitation of so many a day. I went through them, trying to prioritize, and found a bunch of unnecessary or duplicate training, but no one will cancel the assignments.

Then I started doing the assignments that made sense to me, while waiting for the mess to get straightened out, and every single training item had errors. Every one. I would get fired if I did this.

I’ve decided to just enjoy this, make a game out of finding the errors, and seeing how far I have to get the duplicates removed.

Trainee sort of fell apart yesterday. We have a production timetable. She’s brand spankin’ new and has never been on a production timetable, so yeah, it’s going to take Trainee some time to get up to speed. Before that happens, Trainee has to have everything else down pat. The tasks are largely repetitious: The more you do something, the faster you get.

Well, my department Powers That Be have decided this won’t do and they need to put the fear of god into Trainee. Trainee is already nervous enough around me, never mind them. Trainee is a very conscientious sort and wants to do things correctly. TPTB couldn’t give a shit – they just want things done ASAP and if it doesn’t happen, they first get pissy, then they snark, which is what they did behind Trainee’s back yesterday. I heard a good portion of it. I called them out on it. I was told to keep quiet, they were just having fun “because [Trainee] is SOOOOO SERIOUS and this is NOT a serious job.”

Wherein I just gave both of them the utter look of death and replied, “If you were a career [title of position] like me, you wouldn’t think it was funny. TRAINEE IS NEW. Of course Trainee concerned with doing a good job. There’s a lot of steps to remember and yeah, Trainee is going to stumble. Trainee has NEVER done this kind of work before. What is WRONG with YOU?”

As I said upthread, my defense may be all for naught. I’m kind of hoping Trainee walks out if only to shove TPTB’s behavior right back into their faces. The downside is that I’ll have to take over the hours.

You guys ever have a very experienced, seemingly smart coworker who for no apparent reason can’t get something through his thick head?

Dealing with one right now. We’ve discussed something work related in several email threads, and when they got long we met face to face. He didn’t seem to get it, so another long email thread happened, which we then resolved with another face to face meeting. Now it’s happening again and he keeps claiming he doesn’t see what we’re talking about. I want to be rude at this point, and ask him if he has a problem with either reading comprehension or cognitive abilities. We shouldn’t have to keep explaining this to him over and over again, and yet we are. I’ve been swaying between frustration with him and shaking my head in wonder. I know he’s not stupid, but… he sure plays stupid very well! What. The. Fuck. Dude!

Hee hee hee … our office manager has Pwecious Pwincess for the Secret Santa. She’s gonna give her some cheese sticks! (She has already purchased her “real” gift … this is just to poke fun.)

In case you’re wondering, post 126 is worth rereading. It starts with:

You office manager is evil. I like her.

My manager is having problems understanding that if I say I need a certain piece of data in order to do my job (which isn’t even my job damnit, that particular task should actually be on somebody else’s tray), it’s because I actually do need that piece of data in order to do my job.

I mean, of all the things one may be wanting to have at work, why would I ask for an extract of a bunch of control data if I didn’t need it? It’s not as if lists of tab-separated values are all that pretty…

My boss sent me another damn box of grapefruit for Christmas. Grapefruit, my most deadly allergy. Not as in puking or breaking out in a rash or making me all swell up, but as in not breathing any more and falling down and being dead.

Yes, she knows. She “forgets.” I think she sends the same gift to the same dozen or so people every year, and it’s easier to do it all at once than to make an exception.

That has to be reportable to HR if she’s doing it repeatedly? Hostile working environment, and all that!

Does it arrive early enough for re-gifting?

Like right back to her, maybe?

Yeah, if my boss kept giving me something that could kill me, and not taking the hint, at some point I’d go to HR or Bosses Boss to object.

Of course, since the only thing I’m allergic to is latex, well, that certainly would be an interesting conversation if we had to have it. :wink:

I telecommute, and yes, I re-gift. Either my neighbors or my husband’s co-workers will be the beneficiaries.
Thing is, now I have to send her something. Asp?

Does she keep kosher? Is she diabetic? Gluten-free?

Bacon, a pound of fudge, cookies.

Alcoholic? Wine.

The possibilities are endless!

How about a lovely blue-ringed octopus?

I was thinking something simple. Maybe a box of black widow spiders or scorpions.

In that case, how about a jerboa? Adorable and a virulent disease vector!