How about a big bag of Gummy Bears? Best of all, they’re sugar-free…what a nice thought during this season of temptation!
More brilliance than I could bear.
^^^ I see what you did there. 
3 months ago I gave a presentation on a problem we were facing. One of the last slides showed what I thought was the likely problem. The slide showing the problem was a bit complicated, but it’s an environmental problem that covers 200,000 square miles so it really needs to be comprehensive. Since then this presentation has been given several times, and the big boss has used it for a small conference.
Yesterday we got an email from another person saying “Hey look, we think we know what the problem is!” It is the exact same thing I said 3 months ago but they used a simple excel graph to show the problem in a very limited area.
My boss and the big boss are very excited. This is the PROBLEM! So I sent an email and included my slide and said “I showed exactly that back in October.” I didn’t point out that they had both seen the presentation a couple of times and indeed had given the presentation to others.
The response? “Yes, but this is more dramatic.”
Listen. I am a fucking scientist. I am not a fucking actor. If I handed you my business card it would say:
Kelevra
Fucking Scientist
So take your little graph with 2 lines on it, fold it ‘til it’s all sharp corners, and shove it up your ass! If you want to cherry-pick your data so you can have “drama”, then why don’t you leave this industry and become a salesman? Since I am a fucking scientist I will use comprehensive data and actually determine if this is the problem.
Tl;dr: Boss sucks and can lick my dramatic balls.
Can your balls do Shakespeare?
Eh, my passive aggressive step mother in law is in charge of doing Christmas presents. I have been diabetic the entire 30ish years mrAru and I have been together and his father is also a diabetic yet somehow we always get a candy tower …:dubious::smack:
Coworker gave me a $5.00 gift to Walmart which made no sense because I think all I can get is snacks. Plus I live nowhere near a walmart and have to wait until I am out with the family to use it.
Right now I would say Kelevra’s dramatic balls can do a pretty good Oberon. Or maybe Othello.
If I can understand you clearly over Night on Bald Mountain while wearing the big headset that doubles up as earmuffs
YOU NEED TO LOWER YOUR VOICE. AND MAY WANNA CONSIDER GETTING CHECKED FOR HEARING AIDS. THANK YOU.
Your not-HoH coworkers.
I’ve really been feeling more Macbeth lately…
I’m sure coworker will be happy to give you nothing next year. I would.
He might.
Many a person has been led to a diagnosis this way.
I’m attempting to get a hardship transfer to another office.
Yesterday I got a call from a “Specialist” who supposedly works on these kinds of transfers. She has only been doing this since October, although I’m not sure if this is part of the issue. She told me that I would have to apply for the job in which I am interested, when it is posted. At that point my application will be given “extra points” for my hardship request. (This is a federal job.)
Only one problem - There’s an 11 page handbook for hardship transfers, and I think it mentions 5 times that my type of hardship is to be done using a non-competitive process. What does HR think “non-competitive” means? If I’m being given points (even if it’s a billion points) then the process is COMPETITIVE!
I think I’m going to need my blood pressure dosage increased.
Still not quite The Most Evil Christmas Present, but close.
The Most Evil would be a $5.00 gift card to Applebees or Chilis. Because it isn’t enough to actually buy anything there, but it’s enough to make you think about going.
I work as a consultant for a high-tech company, but they treat me as though I’m a regular employee. I’ve worked here for 4+ years, but 2.5 years ago, the company was bought by another company that has a CEO with questionable ethics.
One of the first people this CEO hired was a sales person from a competitor. While this sales person has brought in sales for the past 2 years, I noticed that on several jobs purchase orders (PO’s) were placed without cost models or discussion of the manufacturing methods with the engineers. The due diligence wasn’t done in advance of incoming PO’s. This puts a tremendous strain on manufacturing & engineering, because we have to “figure out” how to make the parts (in a cost-effective manner as well).
As it turns out, this new salesperson has a spreadsheet from their former company with all past customers, what they purchased, and the sale price. This new sales person is “low balling” (asking for a lower-than-normal price) past customers in an effort to bring the business in-house. This salesperson looks like the “hero” for landing the sale, but when manufacturing can’t deliver, the worker(s) are blamed.
In addition to this, the company board members were shown a chart by the new CEO listing all closed sales for this division. One of the orders shown was for a PO that HAD NOT closed. It affected our overall booked sales totals by over 10%. The CEO is purposely misleading the board into believing higher numbers were obtained than our actual sales level.
It’s the lying & underhanded nature of this new company that I can’t stand. I guess that’s the way business is done nowadays . . . and I definitely do not want to be a part of their future.
I wasn’t sure where to put this post. It’s not a rant, but I had to post about it somewhere.
My boss is undergoing a colonoscopy tomorrow, and is doing the prep work today. And he’s at work. And he is seeing several clients throughout the day in various conference rooms.
Has he never had this done before? Is he a moron? Too narcissistic to believe the world will continue without him for a day?
Well, two days - one for prep and one for the actual procedure.
Yeah, my guess he’s never done it before. He’ll learn. I hope those afternoon meetings weren’t important.
If I were you, I’d avoid all of those conference rooms for the next week. :eek:
He’s actually the nicest guy in the world, and I’m lucky to work for him (note: weird to type that in a work rants thread). But he’s never had the procedure before, he’s naive, and he’s drowning in work because December is our busiest month of the year. The afternoon will start in a few minutes; we’ll see if he’s able to hang around like he thinks he can.