New and Unimproved Workplace Rants

The BBQ Pit
701

Ulf, you’re making me sooo happy for my local government right now… not for the dudes actually in it, just for it existing.

A couple of times I’ve had customers try to make me use their invoice format and I’ve been able to trump it with “my invoices need to be legal according to the laws under which my company is registered. Please see attached PDFs and verify that your format is compliant with all three.”

Fuck that shit, it’s me who’s creating the invoice and I’m not changing formats for every Joe and Johnny. Does that customer from Hell change their invoice format for each of their own customers? :dubious:

702

Warning: loooooooooong rant ahead.

About a month ago, we had An Incident at work that involved me, a coworker, and a manager. The manager (henceforth known as A) oversees two sub-programs. Coworker (henceforth known as B) primarily worked for her, but also did about 8 hours a week on a program that I oversee. B had been looking for another job for over a year, for a variety of reasons. He’s been REALLY open about searching elsewhere, and has had multiple meetings with A about it, as well as telling pretty much any of our coworkers who would stand still long enough to listen to his rants.

B came to me one day and said he got a job offer, but wasn’t sure if he’d take it or not. He specifically said that he’d been talking to A, and that she was super supportive of not only his job search in general but also him going to the new place. A few days later, he posted on FaceBook that he’d had a long chat with his boss and felt that taking the new position was the right thing to do.

I went into work the next day and emailed my boss, plus my former boss and former grandboss who oversee our entire program (I should mention that my former grandboss is A’s boss). I said “Hey, sorry to start your day off like this, but I’ve been informed that B is submitting his resignation. That leaves two people on my team (out of six), with no one qualified to interview. Any suggestions would be appreciated.” I included former boss/former grandboss because they did the original hiring for my team, and because we’ve been working on a new bid on a contract for a similar program to the one I oversee, and having my team significantly short-handed would look really, really bad. Also because I reported to them until about four months ago, and old habits die hard.

Weeelllllllll… it turns out B hadn’t actually talked to A, or told her he was resigning, so she found out when her boss called her at 7:30 in the morning (hey, I’d already been at work for an hour and a half by then! ������ ). He came to me at 11:15 and said “Hey, did you tell (former grandboss) that I was quitting? Cause I wish you hadn’t…” A apparently lost her mind, between B not telling her himself, getting caught flat-footed by her boss, and the fact that B gave one week’s notice instead of the required three.

A’s pissed off at me because she feels like I did an end-run around her, and went outside of my chain of command to do it. I was pretty pissed that B had blatantly lied to me, and definitely didn’t mean to hurt her feelings. A went to my boss and basically unloaded on her; my boss came to me and was all “sooooooo… I don’t think she’s really mad at YOU, I think she’s really mad at B… but don’t do that again, please.” I offered to apologize, got the OK to do so, and sent A a fairly lengthy email where I unreservedly apologized and laid out exactly why I did what I did (while stressing that the information was an explanation, NOT an excuse). Weeks go by and she hadn’t acknowledged it at all, but now all of a sudden she wants to have a meeting with me and my boss ‘to give (me) feedback on (my) long email’ (which, really, I don’t think the adjective was necessary in that sentence).

What’s really surreal is if I’d done what A thinks I should have (gone only to my boss), it would’ve ended the exact same way, just ten minutes later, because my boss would have gone to the same people I did.

Both my boss and current grandboss are pretty much of the ‘OMG LET IT GO’ opinion, and can’t figure out why my email (which both read) can’t be the end of it. Either way, I have to sit through a meeting where the entire purpose is a nitpick of my apology. And I really, really think that if someone genuinely apologizes, you don’t get to nitpick their apology in front of their boss. Accept the apology or don’t, but suck it up, Buttercup.

TL;DR: I have to listen to a (in my better half’s words) candy-coated bitch manager pick apart my apology for an unintentional slight that I made toward her, and somehow manage to not throat punch her.

703

::sigh:: I feel ya. I always think “I’m being paid well to do my job. Am I being paid well enough that it covers department drama, too?”

(Now that I look at it that way, maybe it covers a modicum of our ‘middle school tantrums’ and I should suck it up a half a buttercup’s worth…)

704

Don’t. Just decline to go to such a meeting.

Send a very polite email saying that no meeting is necessary – the matter was ended with your apology way back weeks ago, no feedback is needed on that, and we all are too busy working at our jobs to spend more time on past history.

Sounds like your bosses would agree with that, and probably approve of canceling this meeting.

705

Will someone feed the motherfucking email hamsters? They’ve died again! It’s not Halloween, people, we’re supposed to keep 'em alive :mad:

706

Going to agree. Decline the invitation, decline to address the matter further.

Being the forthright asshole I am, I’d probably say something like “I don’t feel that any further discussion of this issue is helpful. We’re done here.”

707

Do I want to ask why you let your hamsters die at Halloween? :cool:

708

Apparently somebody in our office has clogged the men’s room toilet with paper towels.

Let me just say that this office is not open to the public and everybody here has at least a college education plus their own home. I shouldn’t be surprised though, these are the same people who can’t separate the plastic lid from the paper coffee cup to put each into the correct recycle bin.

709

Hmmmmm. I never considered rejecting the meeting outright. I may have to run that suggestion past the boss. Since I’m not really being paid well for my job OR to put up with drama, it’s a viable response, IMO.

Soylent, our office is primarily masters level or above educated folks who work in the human services field, and we had someone (s) intentionally shoving rolls of toilet paper into the toilets, backing them up. It was INSANE. I feel your pain.

710

Because necrophiliac hamsters count as “Halloween decorations for the server room”, duh.

711

I’m curious why you felt the need to discuss Co-worker leaving with the various bosses. It seems to me it wasn’t your place. (Did I miss something?)

712

Would it kill hiring managers to have a little fucking empathy and try to remember when the shoe was on the other foot? If this is a sign of things to come, I can’t wait to get started!:dubious:

713

The hamsters screw the zombies?

714

My majorly nitpicky, Adrian Monk-like boss is having me create an exhibit in Adobe the same way I’ve created several in the past. Without describing the issue exhaustively, he remembers that I created them a certain way, and I know that I couldn’t have created them that way because it would require my having far more skill in Adobe than I actually have. In fact, I don’t believe it’s actually possible to do it the way he remembers.

But he’s right of course, and if I were to actually bring up examples from the past showing him that he’s wrong, I’d be in the Monk doghouse.

Jeez, this guy’s a little shit and I’m sick of him.

715

coworkers who are laughing and smiling at 10am and depressed at 4pm:smack:

716

In the men’s room that is used primarily by the warehouse guys and training groups, someone had to put signs over the urinals explaining that no solids should be placed in them. :smack: Also, we’ve had people place huge wads of chewing gum in the recycle bin, despite the presence of a huge, colorful sign explaining in great detail exactly what can and can’t be placed in the bin.

Dear supervisor: if you’re going to assign me to a job, let me work on the fucking job. I’ve been working here longer than you…I’m quite capable of completing the forms AND writing the report AND helping the newbie inspector get all the parts transferred to the right departments.

717

Mini-Monk has just decided he only likes the look of documents printed on a distant printer in the office. My own high-speed printer next to my desk won’t do anymore; I must hike the length of the floor to pick up documents from the other printer.

718

My supervisor is so fucking stupid, every time I ask her a question she gives me a quiz like I am a walking manual:smack:

719

Unfortunate about your Keurig taking too long

720

I am an INTP. At best, an INTJ. You see me at lunch, with my nose in a book about Western funeral customs? That’s me. The real me. But on my job I need to toss that aside and be On, as drop the personable part-time comedian. That guy has fun, joking and maybe flirting, but the real me finds it exhausting. It is fortunate that the ladies I talk to pretend they haven’t heard my spiel before.

And isn’t that the basis of M-F relationships since forever? The guy makes a lame joke, the woman, if she likes him or sees that the service he offers could benefit her, pretends he’s funny?