I am so glad my workplace has a “no stank” policy. Every now and then someone slathers on a scented lotion or slips something into their desk diffuser and the admin assistant immediately sends out a “gentle reminder” email to everyone letting the stank offender know they’re on notice.
Now if we could just do something about the person who decides to microwave something that smells like cat food every so often…
We have a person (or persons) here who periodically microwaves something that smells like a cross between beef-flavored dog food and a McDonald’s restroom. We also have some fans of artificially buttered microwave popcorn who haven’t figured out how to cook it without scorching. (FYI, burned artificial butter smells a lot like pee.) Neither one is nearly as bad as the time someone microwaved a piece of fish though… that took days to dissipate.
The whole thing is such a cluster that I’m not sure I can explain it. I’m gonna try though.
Background - I’m a project engineer (and the youngest in my department) working at a paint plant. Most of my projects are in the 5k-500k range. Mostly small but lots of fiddly nonsense that needs a person to pay attention to details to get things done in budget.
Last year, people from the corporate continuous improvement team offered some small project management training. One of my more senior colleagues was supposed to go but he had a previously planned vacation. My boss asked about what the training would cover and it was sold as the type of training less experienced engineers would really benefit from and that my boss specifically didn’t need to be there. So I was sent, along with some other people from different departments.
Turns out, this training was actually a train-the-trainer training for a new process that corporate wants us to implement. And all the people that should have been there, like anyone else in project engineering or my boss, weren’t there. So now, I’m “in charge” of implementing the whole process of how everyone in my department should essentially do their job.
This is bad for multiple reasons and I have repeated made it clear to my boss and basically everyone how uncomfortable I am with the situation. I’ve been repeated cornered by the corporate team about how implementation is going and have had to basically say that nothing is happening because I don’t have the authority to make it happen.
Regardless of all that, I talked to my boss and finally put a training session for the rest of the project engineers on the calendar. Which my boss immediately said to postpone because we are getting some new people in the different but related department of process engineering. So I did. Training is supposed to be held on Monday… and two of the three untrained project engineers won’t be there.
I feel like they gave me a job I can’t really do but when I try, the put roadblocks in my way. What am I supposed to do with this? Really?
To make matters worse, my boss is retiring in May. Sooooooo he is having a real hard time caring about how we do projects in the long term. We are also being audited (4th this year) on OSHA stuff in two weeks.
This isn’t exactly my workplace, this is the director of a charity for which I’m on the board of trustees, who is also a close relative. But it seemed like the place to put it:
You can vehemently declare that you’re the person in charge, so obviously making all the decisions.
You can complain that you’re being left having to decide everything.
You cannot do both. Not without sounding like a bit of a twit.
While we’re on it; the manager, who’s just handed in notice, was (suddenly, having been amazing in every description until now) actually not that satisfactory, because he didn’t really do the job you wanted him to do. OK, so have you reviewed the job description before putting it out to find a replacement, to ensure it actually matches what you want? No? Because the role’s flexible and it really depends on how they want to do it? So… you don’t know what jobs you want done, you just know it wasn’t quite what the last guy was doing? And you don’t think there’s anything to be learned from this in hiring a replacement?
Excuse me while I bang my head on this brick wall for a minute.
Oh, and repeatedly complaining to me that applicants aren’t putting their gender or age on applications isn’t exactly reassuring me either; employment discrimination on age or gender is illegal in this country, for non-exempt roles, like this one. I really really don’t care that you want to know. You don’t need to know. There is no reason whatever why you should be making any kind of decision on that basis. Hey, why not complain that they’re not putting skin colour on as well? :mad:
Something about that post combined with your username seems like a lot of things have just been explained…
Have you looked into the possibility of inviting someone she would regard as a cultural policeman into the office? IME, additive scents aren’t really capsble of fooling anyone. 
Quick solution: apply for his job.
Is it legal for some roles? What would they be?
Next time, don’t stop yourself. Please. These people must be stopped.
RE: Diesel fumes - copying original data onto a fresh form was allowed when the form was contaminated in the labs I worked in (the original had to be hung in a hood until the fumes dissipated and then filed). Me, I wouldn’t complain as long the perfume is taken care of.
RE: Ladies room ‘air freshener’ - Kill it with fire.
I used to travel a lot for work - different types of facilities, different countries, planes trains and automobiles - and have hosted lots of visitors, and have never suffered as I have at the home office, so people do know better. Fortunately for me (and everyone who works with me), I tend to sneeze a lot when exposed to excessive scent, which leads to “Are you alright?”, which leads to “I’m sorry, I seem to be allergic to someone’s soap”, with a quick apologetic glance at the person trying to poison all of us.
I think Irish Spring should be declared a WMD.
ETA: Whatever they shampoo cars with is horrible, but we can leave the windows down. I prefer diesel fumes to that shampoo
Well, wet nurse & sperm donor probably qualify.
Does that make GAIN a smell version of the Wave Motion Gun?
OK, so we all had to go through “Speed of Trust” training. Stupid corporate BS, “No shit? Companies work better when everyone trusts each other? Wow!”
But hey, one day, whatever.
Only today we found out that we all have to continue to have periodic meetings called…“Trust Huddles” And we have to bring our “Trust Action Cards.”
Those are independent contractors, not employees.
I really think you should bang his head instead. Seems like a much more appropriate target. Probably wouldn’t miss it much if you broke it.
I don’t know the full list, but it’s legal to consider one gender only for roles like sexual assault counselling, personal care work (I was a live-in assistant for a disabled person for a while, and I know that was exempt) and bra fitters.
Stuff dealing with potentially naked or semi-naked people, or people in highly stressful situations who could reasonably be expected to be uncomfortable talking with members of the opposite gender right now. Plus actors and models.
Because all us “certain age” employees are dropping like flies because of our unrelenting physical workload, TPTB has started an “Apply Now!” blitz over the PA system, signs, display ads, stickers, and whatever else they can dream up.
In our neck of the woods unemployment is very low people won’t work if they don’t have to. It also helps to have a car as we’re deep in suburbia. For some reason TPTB keeps failing to recognize all this because they’re used to being the biggest, or only employer in their neck of the woods.
Whoever the hell sprinkled the dumbass dust on my callers needs to stop it NOW!!! I’d be surprised if as many as 5% of them today had more than two brain cells firing at a time, and most of the 95% also needed clue-by-four attitude adjustments (so did some of the 5%).
I SO need a different job!
Many acting roles require either a great dose of suspension of disbelief, immense amounts of makeup and CGI, or an actor who kind of looks like the character.
Transcripts or it didn’t happen.
First full 8-hour day yesterday with Wonky Foot. Foot Doc said I’m going to have to baby it a lot afterward. She wasn’t kidding. I can’t even walk my dogs after dinner 
Sudden flash of insight: On a job interview, ask to see the company fridge.
Or the refrigerator in the department you’ll be working in. You’ll see if people clean up after themselves, have any kind of community-mindedness. Or, you’ll see that your potential coworkers are jerks.
You’ll be forewarned if there’s a passive-aggressive note from the self-appointed Housemother: [this is all in Comic Sans & Papyrus to make it perkier]
** Hey there, everyone!
SOMEone’s going to feel S0000 bad if I have this fridge carted
over to the Accounting wing because SOMEone can’t clean out their
3 WEEK OLD salmon AGAIN* ! ! ! "***
Have a S000PER Day,
Marcie
And then you notice:
SOMEone’s been stealing 2 BITES out of each person’s lunch,
so Wendell from HR will be checking ID’s
against the name on your lunch bag.
Oh, that one’s covered with Post-Its accusing different people of the crime, and railing against Big Brother.