Oddly, the upset person who started the thread seems to disagree with you about the advice being unhelpful.
Yes. How stupid of me to assume that the OP came to an annonymous message board for a dispassionate, impartial opinion from a perfect stranger with no particular stake in the situation.
I could start off the communication process by asking her a simple question like “why don’t you tell me what happened?” But I think “immediately go into a fit of histrionics” is the answer you are looking for.
Also I would appreciate it if you stop throwing the term “whore” around. I find it offensive towards women.
Wow. Light dawns? The first inkling of empathy dude? Go with it, see where it takes you.
So on a quick skim:
“MMA fighter” wants to take vengeance against rapist. My first thought was that this guy is exactly the kind of guy who would beat the shit out of his girlfriend if she wasn’t raped.
I guess I am just a bad person because my first thought wasn’t “Wow, that’s terrible, that poor girl.”
Considering the historic tendency of feminists to claim that women*** never ***lie about rape, and the tendency of society in general to treat an accusation as a fact, those are points that need to be made.
What you seem to be missing, in your shrill hysteria and unsupportable accusations of misogyny is that taking stock of the situation is a perfectly logical first step in “talking the guy down.”
You are the one throwing putting misogynist words in people’s mouths. The simple fact is that there was poor reporting of the incident, and it sounds like nothing happened for which a beating might be considered an appropriate retribution.
This is not “considering the poor rapist’s feelings.” This is placing some value on making reality-based decisions, as was born out for the denoument. Some young people got drunk and one made a clumsy advance that was rebuffed.
It really is a good idea to avoid going off half-cocked, if you can manage it.
As it turns out, there was no rapist. Adjust the scenario in head a little from your default “Evil Raping Bastard” and “Poor, Defenseless Girl” to a couple of “Stupid Drunk Kids.”
If you had any sense, you’d take a deep breath and prepare to tuck into a repast of crow, chased town with a cup of STFU. Okay, it’s disorienting that your traditional villain was closer to the mark here, I got it. But, seriously, take a step back and reconcile your outrage with what actually happened.
No such thing, naturally. This remark was directed at lissener, who is red-faced for all the wrong reasons.
A favourite poster, but one with an unfortunate tendency to let his emotions run roughshod over his common sense.
Why in the hell did I get mentioned in this pitting? For suggesting lissener was being a little unfair and overly dramatic over **msmith’s ** blunt suggestions?
One of his points was to make sure that what happened, actually happened. The next logical step would have been to notify authorities. I was simply telling lissener that his two-footed jump into what became a quagmire (due to his emotional tirade) was a bit premature.
And of course, as cooler heads prevailed, it turned out that what was thought to have happened, didn’t in fact happen.
Up your nose with a rubber hose, lissener, ya fucking drama queen.
Siiiiigh. It’s over, people. Let it go.
Well, now that I’ve said my piece, now its over.
Bingo.
Same thing happened for a while with accusations of child molestation (during the 80’s and 90’s). The worst witch-hunts were driven by wild-assed claims that children never lie. Unmitigated bullshit.
And anyone demanding that a public message board dedicated to fighting ignorance should shut up and become one big support group for (as yet) unsubstantiated claims is too goddamned stupid to be using this board.
You must be new here.
Sometimes I feel like it.
All I want to point out is that quite a few dopers do similar things to lissener. And it all boils down to an inability to be introspective, or, more specifically, to question their emotions. Or, at least, don’t do it before posting, and then feel the need to defend their emotional reasoning logically, without any aloowances that maybe they were wrong.
With the final result being that msmith was essentially right, and the OP was quite thankful, its really hard to argue that lissener’s was justified. Some people emotionally get it, but no one has put forth a logical reason.
Look, a lot of people on the Dope lack tact. Some are, judging by my religious conservative background, quite rude. While it mostly seems to be accepted, certain emotional topics seem to make people suddenly notice it. My hypothesis is that their anger about the situation needs an outlet, and person X’s relatively minor faux pas is enough for that person to become the target.
In an ideal world, msmith would have couched his points in enough terms to convey his intent. But the point remains that the actual facts he brought up were relevant to the discussion, and that his point of view helped resolve the situation.
Agreed. If the OP of that thread just wanted support for something without any skepticism, the place to post it wouldn’t be IMHO and the time wouldn’t be when they were feeling too emotional to accept alternative viewpoints.
Luckily, it seems that the OP in that thread did invite skepticism and was level-headed enough to take it all in stride. So it looks like it was the right time and place for her.
No its not.
I feel like getting some reperations or sumptin for having suffered through all this.
I seem to recall a line from lissener about how this only happens on TV. Perhaps he is confusing the news with some kind of TV drama.
Guilty until proven innocent, huh?
never!!!
Happens in GQ all the time, too.
OP: Why does X happen?
Typical response: I’ve never seen or heard of X happening. In fact, I’ve noticed just the opposite.
Typical example:
OP: Why do older people have a harder time with modern technology such as cell phones, digital cameras, computers and the like?
Response: All the senior citizens I know have no problem using modern technology like cell phones. In fact, my 85 year old grandmother and I email each other every day, she has a blog, and she Twitters regularly from her iPhone.
Someday, I expect to see this thread:
OP: Why do people in many Commonwealth countries, former UK colonies and Japan drive on the left side of the road instead of the right?
Response: I’ve NEVER heard of anyone in the UK, Australia, or Japan that drives on the left side of the road. In fact, I was in New Zealand last year, and everybody was driving on the right side of the road.
It’s a fair response to a question in my opinion. If someone asks “why does X happen”, the first thing you need to do is verify that X does indeed happen.
Example:
Question: “why do dogs always howl in the key of F?”
Answer: “They don’t”