:: starts charging, turns back to face his fellow Dopers ::
For Frodo.
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
The Shire!
Oh, wait - I’ve used that one earlier in this thread…
COWABUNGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
RRRRRRRAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHH-HAHAHA! YOU FEEBLE PESANTS ARE NOTHING! RAGH-HAHA!
:: slice! slice! crunch! ::
YOU ARE NO WARRIORS!
:: hack! chop! slam! ::
I SHALL RETURN YOU TO THE EARTH!
:: various sounds of battle and continued tounts ::
Strides out into the fray, ignoring villagers hacking at him, takes weapon from villager and snaps it in half, seemingly oblivious to the weapons bouncing off his body, continues breaking all the weapons in reach
Carefull with that, somebody could get hurt. Here, better let me take that, Ooops, I broke it. … Oh, that weapon is clearly too large for you, let me make it smaller, Darn that didn’t come out right, you’d better go get another one. … Cut it out, that tickles!
Strides out with long hair swaying. Male villagers are instantly captivated and seem a little distracted from the task at hand
Sorry to rain on the parade but I don’t like it when things don’t go my way. And I’m afraid I’m going to have to hurt you. Don’t be fooled by the leather, this is not going to be any simple spanking 
Man, my slashing arm is getting tired! I gotta get some more exercise, lose a coupla pounds…
Right - break’s over!
YOICKS! AND AWAAAAAAAAAY!
:: slash! crush! whump! ::
I AM THE MASTER OF THIS BLOOD BATH! YA-HAHA!
:: hack! smash! ka-pow! ::
BATTLE IS MY DOMAIN!
FORWARD, SDMB WARRIORS! HURAAAAAAHHHHHHH!
Sir, yes sir!
BZZZOWNNT!
BZZOWWNNTT!! BZZàOOWWNNTTT!!!
:: The sound of the “Death Ray” is heard as the party carefully picks off snipers and ambushers around the Doorway.
Right, well, this has been fun, but what say we speed things up a bit?
:: causes the fabric of spacetime inside the remaining villagers’ bodies to expand beyond the capacity of the interatomic bonds to hold together ::
There. That wasn’t so hard. 
Now we can all go inside and clean up a bit.
What the &?##$ happened?!!!
First, there’re fighters, then clouds of pink goo, then it was like the mother of all electrical storms right here on the lawn!!
I have a bad feeling about this.
Whats say that after we clean up, we have a nice dinner???
Mmmmmmm… beer and not squck…
I’m with you, Regallag. I’d be honored to share a mug of mead with such a fine warrior as yourself.
And Princess, I know this delightful restaurant at the end of the Universe …
:: clug, clug, clug, clug, clug ::
Ahhhhh… Another pint, barkeep! I good night o’ drinkin’ after a hard day o’ fightin’.
I’m listening
It’s called Milliways, and the only dress code is that you bring a towel along. Not that you would ever look less than absolutely radiant, my dear.
if you’ve already done six impossible things this morning, why not round it off with breakfast at Millyways?
Six impossible things? Would you care to name them? I’m slightly lost 
But breakfast…now THAT is a damn fine idea…
Douglas Adams made that the slogan for Millways as a reference to this quote from Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland.
As far as our own situation is concerned, these impossible things come to mind:
- Squck
- RoboSquck
- The Vale itself
- CHUDs
- A 1920s style Death Ray
- The, er, “unique” characteristics of EarthStone’s character
And that’s not even mentioning my own control over space and time.
Sorry, I’m one of those blondes…plus back in the land of the living…its alomst knock off on friday arvo…
Anyway…so what do they serve at this restuarant???