Lamarr: “Qualifications?”
Bart: “Stampeding cattle.”
Lamarr: “That’s not much of a crime.”
Bart: “Through the Vatican?”
-“BB”-
Rollin’, rollin’, rollin, keep those dogies rollin’…
We got to open this, this, these offices, and publish this magazine here, ‘American Bitch’. The dog magazine for women and their dogs. Umm, it’s a focus on the issues of the lesbian pure bred dog owner.
Rhapsody has two mommies.
She’s my sister and my daughter.
I am your Father
Mitch Robbins: Alright Ed, your best day, what was it, twins in a trapeze, what?
Ed Furillo: No, I don’t wanna play.
Mitch Robbins: C’mon, we did it.
Ed Furillo: I don’t feel like it.
Mitch Robbins: Uh, okay.
[pause]
Ed Furillo: I’m 14 and my mother and father are fighting again… y’know, because she caught him again. Caught him… This time the girl drove by the house to pick him up. And I finally realized, he wasn’t just cheating on my mother, he was cheating us. So I told him, I said, “You’re bad to us. We don’t love you. I’ll take care of my mother and my sister. We don’t need you any more.” And he made like he was gonna hit me, but I didn’t budge. And he turned around and he left. He never bothered us again. Well, I took care of my mother and my sister from that day on. That’s my best day.
Phil Berquist: What was your worst day?
Ed Furillo: Same day.
But you can’t hate someone and love them at the same time, can you?
Oooh, yeaaaaaaah!
Offstage I hate her; but, onstage, I’m madly in love with her.
You couldn’t kiss me like that if you didn’t mean it!
You dirty swine! I never cared for you — not once! I was always making a fool of ya. Ya bored me stiff! I hated ya! It made me sick when I had to let you kiss me! I only did it because ya begged me. Ya hounded me and drove me crazy! And after you kissed me, I always used to wipe my mouth — wipe my mouth!”
…and I cain’t STAN’ him!
That’s all I can stands, I can’t stands no more!
That’s my secret: I’m always angry.
I’m not mad at you, I’m mad at the dirt.
Get up from your chairs. Go to the window. Open it. Stick out your head and yell. And keep yelling. First you’ve got to get mad. When you’re mad enough we’ll figure out what to do. Stick your head out and yell, ’I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it any more.’ ‘I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it any more.’ ‘I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it any more.’
Lighten up, Francis.
Francis, we are breaking the door down now!
It’s better to break a man’s leg than his heart.