I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass… and I’m all out of bubblegum
We’ve got an blind date with Destiny, and it looks like she ordered the lobster.
Oh come off it, MAJOR! You put me right off my fresh fried lobster, do you realize that?
It’s only a wafer thin mint.
It’s only a model.
Why do you hate models, Matilda?
You probably think I’m beautiful, Dr. Roberts, but I’m not. I have lots of defects to fix. I have a list right here. My nose is .2 millimeters too narrow. And my cheekbones are .4 millimeters too high. And my chin has a little .1 bump here. And my areola distance is 5 millimeters. And I have a mole here on my ribs. So I need plastic surgery.
Right! I’ll go get a plastic knife.
You all love twisting the knife into one another.
Cow… another cow.
Actually, I think that was the same one.
I’m happier 'n a tornado in a trailer park!
Clap along if you feel that happiness is the truth.
Life is an endless series of train wrecks with only brief commercial-like breaks of happiness.
To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer; to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy, one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you’re getting this down.
Listen—do you hear? That is the sound of ultimate suffering.
Khan! KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!
Shh! I’m trying to use the phone!
…if you don’t get the President of the United States on that phone, you know what’s gonna happen to you? … You’re gonna have to answer to the Coca-Cola company.
That’s a big “no can do”.
Would you come over here, please? That’s it, c’mere Francine. What do we do?