I’m telling you, kid, this is the great life, no rules, no responsibilities.
You’re the kind of guy that ignores the rules because it makes you feel in control.
You’re the only one still playing by the rules, Midnite, and while you’ve been imitating Switzerland people are dying.
Man, enough with the damn Swiss!
I like Swiss cheese ice cream.
Me, too! Me, too!
Then we can all have ice cream. And bourbon.
Now you’ll hear her drunk voice.
And please keep your clothes on, too. There aren’t many more sickening sights in this world than you with a few drinks in you and your skirt up over your head. Or “your heads”, I should say.
I’m sorry; I didn’t recognize you with your clothes on.
Ted: Jesus, you look fantastic.- Norah Jones: Well, you’re probably not used to seeing me fully clothed.
- Ted: [laughs] Yeah, I know, right? You mean… me and Norah met in 2002 at a party at Belinda Carlisle’s house. And we had awkward fuzzy sex in the coat room.
- Norah Jones: Actually, you weren’t so bad for a guy with no penis.
- Ted: Yeah, you know, I’ve written so many angry letters to Hasbro about that.
(playing off ‘Hasbro’, the name of a toy company)
And I’m from Mattel. Well, I’m not really from Mattel. I’m actually from a smaller company that was purchased in a leveraged buyout.
-“BB”-
Mother! Oh God, mother!! Blood! Blood!
All bleeding stops eventually.
The doctor says you’re gonna be okay. You are lucky you have a head like a rock.
These doctors know what they’re doing.
Ah, I see you have the machine that goes ‘ping!’. This is my favourite.
Give me one ping, Vasily.
And wouldn’t you know it? A few months later, they invited me and the Ping-Pong team to visit the White House.
Creepy Carrie! Creepy Carrie! Ha-ha!