“Sharks!”
“Jets!”
I have had it with these motherfucking snakes sharks on this motherfucking plane!
(with a little poetic license)
It’s… a Sharknado!
Cow…
I gotta go, Julia, we’ve got cows!
There are women who reach a perfect time of life when the face will never again be as good, the body never as graceful, powerful. It had happened that year to Julia.
I’m old! Oh, I’m like the Cryptkeeper!
Hey baby, how’re you doin’? I bet you were really something before electricity.
Norma, you’re a woman of 50, now grow up. There’s nothing tragic about being 50, not unless you try to be 25.
Marilyn doesn’t exist. When I come out of my dressing room, I’m Norma Jeane. I’m still her when the camera is rolling. Marilyn Monroe only exists on the screen.
Alright, Blanche Hudson! Miss big, fat movie star! Miss rotten, stinking actress! Press a button, ring a bell and you think the whole damn world comes running, don’t you? Lunch, Miss Hudson? Why, certainly, Miss Hudson! I’m sure we can find something appropriate for you, Miss Hudson!
[muttering to herself, hacking down the rose garden ] Hollywood royalty! Parted friends… everyone already knows! Box office poison! Box office poison! Class! You’re… class… you’re… class… box office poison! Eighteen years in the business and we parted friends! Creative differences!
But if that poison just stayed there, getting worse and worse, like poison always does - spreading, until even the blindest man could see, until he HAD to see…
Listen to me, we’re going on a trip now, it’s going to be rough. If you hear something in the woods, you tell me. If you hear something in the water, you tell me. But under no circumstances are you allowed to take off your blindfold.
Wandering around our America has changed me more than I thought. I am not me any more. At least I’m not the same me I was.
My friends call me Murphy. You call me—RoboCop.
And don’t call me Shirley.
He has a wife, you know? You know what she’s called? She’s called Incontinentia… Incontinentia Buttocks.
Oh, a counter-offer. That’s what we lawyers - I’m a lawyer - we lawyers call that a counter-offer. This is a tough decision here. Get my ass kicked or collect two hundred dollars. Let me think… I could use a good ass-kickin’, I’ll be very honest with you… nah, I think I’ll just go with the two hundred.
It’s just a negotiation tactic. Trust me, this is my specialty. Where yours is more stab, stab, stab.
This guy is so full of angles and gimmicks and twists; he starts to describe a doughnut and it comes out a pretzel.