It’s amazing how much you can get done when you have a simple purpose guiding your life.
We’re just kicking it. Philosophizing on God, church, bitches and all.
God’s a kid with an ant farm, lady. He’s not planning anything.
Why does God need a starship?
The Almighty tells me he can get me out of this mess, but he’s pretty sure you’re fucked.
Oh, son. These people are from Hollywood. The one thing they will never do is mess with a good story.
No, listen to me L.B., I have been BEGGING YOU… begging you for a good script. Now you’ve always given me my share of bad movies because you knew I’d make them work. Well I can’t keep doing it, L.B.!
I once asked this literary agent what kind of writing paid the best. He said, “Ransom notes.”
- Do I understand this correctly? I’m being marked down? What is this? The Bargain Basement?
- I’ve been kidnapped by Kmart.
- Ray, tell him.
- Kmart sucks.
Why must EVERYTHING be a CONTEST?
Contestants, if you can hear me back there…You don’t have to be number one as you amble down life’s highway, but don’t be last!
Cheating on a quiz show? That’s sort of like plagiarizing a comic strip.
I’m not a comic book villain.
You sly dog! You got me monologuing.
You talking to me? Then who the hell else are you talking… .
Oh, indeed, then, what are we talking about?
Shut the fuck up, Donny!
I’m fuckin’ kidding with you! You fuckin’ shoot the guy?!
That fuck! That sick fuck! That fucking bastard!