What am I? I yam what I yam.
He does talk like one. I think he’s brilliant.
Mitch, there’s something you need to know. Compared to you, most people have the IQ of a carrot.
What is it with single men and V8 juice? I mean, my dad’s fridge has nothing but mustard in it. But when I come to visit it has mustard, fish sticks… and this big jug of V8 juice. Like, if he makes me choke down a glass he’s being healthy and fatherly.
His refrigerator has been out of order for two weeks now. I saw milk standing in there that wasn’t even in the bottle!
You’re my kitty now. You’ll have milk and tuna fish every day.
We’ll have the New York steak, rare, and two limestone salads.
Vodka martini; shaken, not stirred.
Stir, never shake. Bruises the gin.
Do I look like I give a damn?
What’s the matter, James? No glib remark? No pithy comeback?
What good is a phone call if you are unable to speak?
The call is coming from inside the house.
Don’t call me.
You know how to whistle, don’t you Steve? You just put your lips together and blow.
Well, blow me down!
I’ve decided to kill myself. I’m going to blow my brains out right on this program a week from today. So tune in next Tuesday.
You can’t buy publicity like this.
Daddy, I want an Oompa Loompa! I want you to get me an Oompa Loompa right away!
All I’ve got at home is one pony and two dogs and four cats and six bunny rabbits and two parakeets and three canaries and a green parrot and a turtle, and a silly old hamster!