Too soon; too soon. We need a fire in the Capitol and then a Crystal Night first.
To be clear: the stupid idea here isn’t that he withdrew his candidacy:
Naw, there’s no way that could happen, since the last time there was a Great Pandemic it ended World War II.
But not before the British bombed Pearl Harbor, the bastards.
But thank god Washington was able to secure the airports at valley forge or the bombing would have been much worse
And for this, we have Paul Revere to thank, riding his horse through the countryside, waving his gun and ringing his bell . . .
[Trump]The possession of such guaranteed by the 2nd Amendment.[/Trump]
But without a Constitutional Right to keep and bear bells, Paul Revere was actually on very shaky ground. So lucky for the Revolution that the Brits didn’t capture him!
What the heck is second degree strangulation?
Well, I look back to Naomi Klein’s book on Disaster Capitalism, which describes how big profits are made in the wake of a major bad event. Usually people are displaced in the process, but they can always go somewhere else.
In New York, “A person is guilty of strangulation in the second degree when he or she commits the crime of criminal obstruction of breathing or blood circulation, as defined in section 121.11 of this article, and thereby causes stupor, loss of consciousness for any period of time, or any other physical injury or impairment.”
Also in New York, " A person is guilty of strangulation in the first degree when he or she commits the crime of criminal obstruction of breathing or blood circulation, as defined in section 121.11 of this article, and thereby causes serious physical injury to such other person."
So second degree is when the victim loses consciousness but doesn’t die, and with first degree the victim doesn’t necessarily lose consciousness, but what…?
Suffers lasting or permanent damage, I presume.
And I assume that would include death? Which tends to be permanent.
Either that or Kevin Bacon shows up.
ETA: not sure which is worse. 
Upon minute inspection, the difference seems to turn on the word “serious”, or lack thereof.
Second degree: Causes physical injury.
First degree: Causes serious physical injury.
Sort of like the difference between “attempted murder” and “murder” - it’s not what you were doing or what you intended to do, it’s how effective you were at doing it.
It’s for when he wanted to kill her just a little bit.
Let freedom ring!
And that’s why the flag of New Hamster includes the state motto “COVFEFE!”